College graduate tells her dad she doesn't want his girlfriend to attend her graduation: 'My dad cheated on my mom with this woman.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Apr 9, 2026 7:45 AM EDT

Why is he being so insistent on his girlfriend's attendance? 

Graduations can be hit or miss. There's something beautiful about the end of an era being marked by a big celebration where you don a funny hat. It gives a sense of completion to all of the years you spent slaving away on your degree.

My graduations were hit and miss. I liked my high school one a lot better than my college one, probably because I was much more excited about finishing high school than about college. It felt like my entire family was in town to celebrate, I got to sing the alma mater with the choir, and the sky was a stunning pink the night of graduation. At my college graduation, I was one of tens of thousands of students getting my degree. It was as hot as a leather car seat on a summer day, and the speaker was so mediocre. While these weren't the best days of my life by any means, I'm glad I attended. 

Would you skip your college graduation because an unwanted person was in attendance? If you haven't spoken to your mom in 10 years and she suddenly decides she wants to show up at your college graduation, I'd understand if you didn't want to attend. Why should she get the satisfaction of feeling pride for you when she hasn't supported your pursuit of education at all? 

The graduate in this story is not about to allow her dad's girlfriend to get the satisfaction of watching her graduation ceremony. 

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  • Woman in a black graduation gown
    via Ryan Hoffman

    A college graduate, smiling about all she has accomplished during her time at school.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I the bad guy for telling my dad that I don't want his girlfriend at my college graduation, and if she comes, I won't walk?

    Some background because I know this will sound harsh without it. I'm 22F. My parents divorced when I was 15 after my dad had an affair with a woman I'll call Karen.
    via u/Mithril_7
  • He moved in with her about three months after he left, which meant I was watching my mom fall apart in real time while he was essentially already moved on.
    via u/Mithril_7
  • I never said he couldn't date, I'm not a child, I understand how people work. But Karen specifically made things worse during the divorce in ways I won't get into, and I've never been able to get past it.
    via u/Mithril_7
  • I've been civil to her at family events for my dad's sake but we have no relationship and I've never pretended otherwise.
    via u/Mithril_7
  • My graduation is in six weeks. It's a big deal to me, I worked really hard for this degree and it took me an extra semester because I had to take a medical leave sophomore year.
    via u/Mithril_7
  • My mom, my grandparents, and my two closest friends are coming. I told my dad a few weeks ago that I'd love for him to be there but that I wasn't comfortable having Karen at this specific event.
    via u/Mithril_7
  • I wasn't mean about it, I just said this one day is really important to me and I want to feel relaxed and present, not tense.
    via u/Mithril_7
  • He got very quiet and then said he "doesn't go places without her anymore" and that it wasn't fair to ask him to choose.
    via u/Mithril_7
  • Middle-aged couple spending time together
    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    Dad and the girlfriend he never leaves at home under any circumstances. 

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I told him that I wasn't asking him to choose, I was telling him what I needed for my own graduation, and that if he brought her I genuinely wouldn't walk becuase I didn't want the day ruined.
    via u/Mithril_7
  • He called me manipulative. My stepmom thinks I went too far with the ultimatum. AITJ for making this a condition or should I have just let it go?
    via u/Mithril_7
  • TL;DR: Asked my dad not to bring his girlfriend (who was his affair partner) to my college graduation.
    via u/Mithril_7
  • He said he won't come without her. I said then I won't walk. He called me manipulative
    via u/Mithril_7
  • A group of people standing on top of a stage
    via Andrej Lišakov (Unsplash+)

    A college graduate walks across the stage to receive her diploma. 

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • babykitten28 When he said don't make me choose, I would have said, you already did when you walked out on us and shacked up with your affair partner. If she must be glued at your side when it comes to me, then best wishes. I choose my mother.
    via u/babykitten28
  • Antique-diva NTJ. He is basically doing the same thing he did to you at 15. He chose Karen over you (and your mom) and your happiness. This bs about him not wanting to choose just means he is always choosing her. He isn't going to choose you, so act accordingly. You are allowed to keep him out of your important life events to keep your peace. Just like he is allowed to be attached to his mistress/new wife at the hip like he wants to.
    via u/Antique-diva
  • Opening-Sir-2504 Your stepmom and your dad are the jerks, not you. It's not about him, it's about you. Don't give him a ticket, walk with those who mean the most. NTJ.
    via u/Opening-Sir-2504
  • LaToune65 Make it his choice. He eithe comes alone or not at all. You have not asked for much since he left you and your mom. Don't make this an argument but his choice. Congrats!
    via u/LaToune65
  • CrystalAngelse lowkey harsh delivery but i get it, it's ur day not a reunion for his mess, but yeah don't be surprised if he doesn't come
    via u/CrystalAngelse
  • RJack151 Just tell him that if he cannot go without her, then he is no longer invited. He can watch the ceremony online and stream it.
    via u/RJack151
  • lostbutlearning0002 NTA - it's your graduation. He should respect your wishes or not attend. In regard to his "choosing comment". He chose to have an affair. He chose to break up your family. He chose to continue the relationship knowing the trauma it caused you and your Mom. Time for him to choose his daughter for once.
    via u/lostbutlearning0002
  • Potential_Ad_1397 NTA But don't rob yourself of your accomplishments. You deserve to walk. I would just unvite your dad.
    via u/Potential_Ad_1397
  • Natenat04 Uninvite your dad, and enjoy your day. He already doesn't care enough to just be there for you. He cares more about her feelings than showing up and being a supportive dad. He and his girlfriend are the only manipulative ones. Enjoy your day with those who are actually there for you!
    via u/Natenat04
  • Techsupportvictim "I wasn't comfortable ..." Wrong. You tell him flat out that she's not invited. He's getting only one ticket, end of discussion. He can come alone and see his daughter graduate or stay home. Or even better, assume he won't come without her and don't invite him. Flat out tell him you know he'll insist on bringing her and you don't want her there, especially when your mother will also be there and you don't want their divorce drama taking over your day so he can stay at home also
    via u/Techsupportvictim

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degree graduation affair attendance girlfriend cheating dad divorce mom college
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