38-year-old son offers Mom to move into his house after he relocates abroad, siblings find out and demand to move there instead, he refuses: ‘You're not allowed in my home’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Apr 11, 2026 5:00 PM EDT

"Honey, pack up your things, we're moving into my brother's house."

I love it when my siblings visit my home. When my older sister visits, she comes with her four daughters, and the house fills with laughter and joy. Don't get me wrong, my nieces bring chaos with them, and it takes me hours to get the house back in order, but they know how to have a good time, and I am always happy to experience that.

When my younger sister visits, she doesn't bring any kids with her, but she does bring hot gossip, and maybe some baked goods, which is always fun. We love to get cozy on the couch, turn on a comfort movie, and talk about everything we've been up to in the time we have not seen each other.

As much as I love my siblings, I also love it when they leave. The great thing about their visits is that they do not last forever, and by the end of the day, I get to have my house to myself again, and I'm sure they love it when they all return to their own.

The 38-year-old brother in the story below doesn't want his siblings to move into his house, even if he is not going to be there when they do. He comes from a family that always struggled financially. His mom is a single mother who raised 4 sons, and she gave it all for her children, even when she didn't have what to give. 

Three of her sons still struggle financially, while one managed to focus on his career and enjoy a stable life. Now, he is moving abroad indefinitely, and he suggested to his devoted mother to move into his empty house while he is away. She insisted that she likes where she lives and doesn't want to move, but when her other sons heard of the offer, they all wanted to take it up instead.

Yet, the 38-year-old has no interest in offering the house to his irresponsible siblings, and he would much rather have the house stay empty than let them ruin it…

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  • 01
    Man leans in doorway, peering into a room
    via Evelyn Verdín

    Man leans in doorway, peering into a room

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    AITA for not letting my family live in my empty house?

    I (38m) come from a family that has always struggled to get by. My mother raised 4 sons as a single mother and would go to the ends of the earth for us.
    via CptDevlin61
  • 03
    She has always rented as has most of my immediate and extended family. I broke the mold when I got my dream house built in 2016.
    via CptDevlin61
  • 04
    It's quite a large home as (at the time) I was planning on eventually starting a family and having kids.
    via CptDevlin61
  • 05
    Fast forward to today, I ended up focusing more on my career and have been in no rush to start a family, so besides romantic partners and the occasional temporary room mate, I've lived in my house alone.
    via CptDevlin61
  • 06
    I'm set to move overseas later this year and it will be for the foreseeable future.
    via CptDevlin61
  • 07
    I offered to let my mother live in my house while I'm away (and have offered her many times prior to this) but she has again said no, she likes where she lives and has no plans to move (she is in a housing commission/public housing house so the rent is very low and the lease is essentially indefinite).
    via CptDevlin61
  • 08
    Both my older and next younger brother (there are 4 of us and I'm the 2nd oldest) found out about my offer to my mother and started throwing out not so subtle hints about letting either of them move in.
    via CptDevlin61
  • 09
    It all came to a head over Easter when they both asked outright if either of them/their families can stay at my house and I told them in no uncertain terms, they aren't allowed in my home while I'm away.
    via CptDevlin61
  • 10
    This lead both of them to blow up at me, calling me selfish, saying I never needed a house that big anyway and now I won't even be living in it while they both have partners/kids and their current house/apartment aren't big enough for their families but with the housing crunch, they can't afford any bigger.
    via CptDevlin61
  • 11
    I called them out on this, they both earn decent money but just can't budget. They spend money like it's going to rot.
    via CptDevlin61
  • 12
    They both go on regular (and quite pricey) holidays, always have the latest gadgets and one just bought a 70k+ ute.
    via CptDevlin61
  • 13
    I ended up leaving the Easter festivities early when they wouldn't drop the subject and started using my nieces and nephews as props to guilt me into letting either of them move in.
    via CptDevlin61
  • 14
    Packaged belongings on the floor of a house.
    via Ryu Orn

    Packaged belongings on the floor of a house.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 15
    My family has been blowing up my phone ever since, even my mother has tried to find a way to get me to let them move in.
    via CptDevlin61
  • 16
    I don't trust them in my home without me, but am I just selfish for leaving a large home empty for so long when they have growing families?
    via CptDevlin61
  • 17
    Annual-Cancel-7669 If she changes her mind don't let your mom move in. She'll stay where she is and let your siblings in. Also upgrade your security system and cameras before you leave just in case. Change the locks if anyone in your family has a spare key.
    via Annual-Cancel-7669
  • 18
    CptDevlin61 Original Poster's Reply She's already tried and I've rescinded the offer. She tried convincing me to let them move in and when I said no, she suddenly changed her mind on moving in.
    via CptDevlin61
  • 19
    dontlickspoons I have to go with a very mild ESH because OP isn't doing either of those things. There is no reason for the house to just sit empty, especially when there is a pretty much global housing shortage. I wouldn't rent to the siblings, because that's going to cause a bunch more family drama when he eventually comes back and gets painted as the cruel heartless villain for kicking his sibling and their family out of "their house", but at least rent it to someone. And like, it's free money
    via dontlickspoons
  • 20
    CptDevlin61 Original Poster's Reply I'm going to be renting it out through an agent that can handle everything while I'm away. I was holding out that my mother would change her mind and move in. I want her to be able to live a more comfortable life. But now that's she's looking to use it as a way to get my brother's in, that option is off the table, at least until I return to Australia full time.
    via CptDevlin61
  • 21
    3bag NTA It may seem to them that you're being unkind, but you're very aware of their shortcomings.
    via 3bag
  • 22
    CptDevlin61 Original Poster's Reply I don't really care what my brother's think, but I do feel bad for my nieces and nephews. They're innocent in all of this and they can't all share bedrooms forever. Thus why I think I might be the a- hole.
    via CptDevlin61
  • 23
    jleek9 NTA- stay for free?!! Thats way too big of an ask. They should be embarrassed. Just sell it.
    via jleek9
  • 24
    CptDevlin61 Original Poster's Reply I won't be selling, I want to live inu home when I do eventually return full time. The general consensus seems to be to get an agent to rent out and manage the house while I'm gone and I'm inclined to agree.
    via CptDevlin61
  • 25
    PurplePufferPea That's good, but then the question is, how long can the live there before you realize AND how much damage can they do in that time?...
    via PurplePufferPea
  • 26
    CptDevlin61 Original Poster's Reply I'm going to rent it out through an agency. They can handle everything while I'm away. Less stress for me.
    via CptDevlin61
  • 27
    monagr What even is an ute?... NTA obviously. You offered it to your mother. Siblings can figure out their own accommodation
    via monagr
  • 28
    CptDevlin61 Original Poster's Reply Ute is Australian slang for a pick up truck. Their original name was Utility Vehicle.
    via CptDevlin61
  • 29
    Interesting-Lie-8942 INFO Why don't you trust them?
    via Interesting-Lie-8942
  • 30
    CptDevlin61 Original Poster's Reply - Every home they've had that I ever visited was always filthy. They never look after where their live, dog urine stains on rugs, holes in walls (that was only with my older brother), moldy bathrooms and so much more.
    via CptDevlin61
  • 31
    Bebotronsote NTA but... Have you considered renting it to them??? Passive income for you, contractual obligations for them (that hopefully protect you against any concerns you may have). Seems like a win-win
    via Bebotronsote
  • 32
    CptDevlin61 Original Poster's Reply They made it clear with their initial hints that they expect to be able to live in my home rent free so they can "save up to buy their own home".
    via CptDevlin61

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