Man relieved to spend his birthday alone, refusing when his wife springs a surprise sushi reservation on him instead of the chill night he wanted: ‘I have been burnt out from work’

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  • Man kicking back in his own house after a long day.
  • [I told] my wife forget it and going out by myself for my birthday instead of going to her fancy dinner reservation

    My wife is a planner, it is extremely hard for her to just go with the flow.
  • If we are going to do something she needs all the details.
  • A while ago she asked what I wanted to do for birthday. my
  • I have been burnt out from work so I told her I just want to go to a chain restaurant around here on my day.
  • Burnt-out employee resting his head on his desk.
  • Just a chill night out. I don't want to get dressed up or anything. She asked where and what time.
  • I told her, I'll just pick day off what I am feeling. Maybe I want Olive Garden or maybe I want to get Chinese takeout.
  • I express many times I don't want to plan anything and just go with the day.
  • Really I just wanted to go eat what I was feeling that day. This week she asked what time and I told her when we both get home so like 5-6 we can go out.
  • She was frustrated I was giving her an answer about where to eat and I told her multiple times what I am feeling that day.
  • She asked if we needed reservations and I told her no, multiple times. We will be a walk in on a Wednesday to a chain restaurant.
  • She asked if I wanted anything fancy and I told her no. I just wanted a simple night.
  • Yesterday was the issue. I wanted Olive Garden. Go home, gets some breadsticks and chill the rest of the night.
  • I get home around 5 and my wife is all dressed up. I asked why and she said she made reservations for the fancy sushi place in the city.
  • Woman dressed up fancy to go out to a restaurant.
  • She said it was a surprise and we need to leave in about 20 mins. Nothing has sounded so unappealing to me in my life.
  • I told her I wanted to go to Olive Garden, we got into an argument about how she spent all this effort to get a reservation.
  • I told her I didn't want any of this. In the end I left to go to Olive Garden by myself.
  • We got into another argument after I can back.
  • That_Bee_Baker NTA. It sounds like she wanted an excuse to go to a fancier place to celebrate. That's not necessarily bad, if she had been clear up front and you agreed. But it wasn't what you wanted. Happy Birthday, and I hope you got to take home bonus birthday breadsticks
  • III_Reality 111 OP. I did get bonus breadstick and soup I got the tour of Italy and it was so good.
  • CynicalCyanogen NTA. No one is entitled to dictate your day but you. Also, you very clearly and repeatedly communicated your desires and expectations, and she either didn't listen to you or
  • outright n glected to consider them after repeatedly asking you. Her actions were disrespectful and made the night more about her than about you.
  • noblazinjusthazin "All this effort to get a reservation" She called a place and said she wants a table on this date and time is a lot of effort? Or alternatively used her phone to book it? That's like 4 seconds of effort
  • SPARKLING_PE NTA. I'm going to comment that you perhaps could have done things slightly differently, so I want to clarify first that your wife trying to take over was an AH move.
  • From your wife's point of view the plan should be that she's showered and in a nice dress (but not a ballgown) at 18:00 prompt and you're taking care of the rest of it.
  • That's the plan (even if you end up ordering delivery) and she doesn't need to know, worry or care whether you have a plan or are winging it. You give her a time and goal for what she
  • has to do, so she's not driving herself crazy wondering if she has time to run an errand beforehand, when she should get in the shower or whatever.
  • Odd-Worth7752 If OP doesn't like sushi, then wife is maybe TA. personally I can't stand Olive Garden, I'd go to a thousand neighborhood Italian places before I'd ever put a foot in the OG door.
  • but also-if wife modeling behavior she wants you to reflect to her? Do you make a fuss over her for her birthday? do you take her out for a nice dinner? my husband HATES fish. everything about it. I adore sushi.
  • but I did him a favor so he surprised me by taking me to the fanciest sushi place around, an hour's drive away, researched it and made the reservation, all as a surprise. and he found something on the menu that he could eat, made sure my heart's desire was fulfilled.
  • Netflxnschill NTA you could not have been more clear about what you wanted to do and she planned something anyway

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