UPDATE: 23-year-old bride supports her blue-haired best friend after her mother is caught demanding they dye their hair a natural color before the wedding: 'I'm her something blue'

Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer
Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Apr 16, 2026 3:45 PM EDT

A bride isn't always a bridezilla; sometimes she's the one voice of reason standing between a blue-haired bridal party and a grossly conventional mother's unwanted opinion. 

This young woman found out that her mother was stealing her phone and texting her friends behind her back, trying to force them to change their appearance to be more conventional, just weeks before the wedding. Well, for a bride whose buddies had blue hair and facial piercings, she was unashamed of her eclectic group and instead turned against her mom's fragile ego. 

Some friends are just plus-ones at your wedding, and others are bridal party material, but those deeper friendships surpass even family member relationships. 

Oftentimes, these family and friend relationships become painfully clear during the wedding planning process. Parents will argue with their offspring about trivial things like flowers, the table decor, and first dance song choices, but when a parent starts coming after the chosen family of the bride-to-be, things are going to get spicy. 

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  • Two women smiling and showing off their friendship.
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  • WIBTA for asking my best friend to pay for half of the cost to color my hair

    my best friend (23F) and I have been inseparable for years. When her boyfriend now fiancé proposed, she asked me to be her man of honor. Of course I said
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  • yes immediately. I've been helping her plan this wedding for the past year and a half alongside her mom, and I've already spent over $600 to be part of everything.
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  • Now, here's the important part: I have bright blue hair. I've had it for the last three years, and I've been doing vivid fashion colors for over a decade. From the
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  • VERY beginning of wedding planning, I asked her multiple times if my hair would be an issue. Every single time, she told me no it wouldn't be a problem.
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  • Fast forward to TWO WEEKS before the wedding.
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  • She suddenly comes to me and asks if I can dye my hair back to a natural color for the wedding.
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  • After a year and a half of saying it was fine. So now I'm stuck. I can dye it myself—it's not about that—but it'll still cost around $50 plus
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  • tax. It's not a huge amount, but it's the principle of the thing. She reassured me over and over that my hair was okay, and now, last minute, she's changing her mind.
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  • So I'm considering asking her to cover half the cost of fixing my hair about $25 since this change is coming entirely from her and very last minute.
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  • Would that make me the a**hole? Or is it fair, considering I've already spent $600+ on her wedding and only agreed to everything under the assumption my hair wasn't an issue?
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  • UPDATE: So I just got off the phone with the bride- to-be, and when I asked her why she suddenly wanted me to change my hair color
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  • and what made her change her mind after repeatedly telling me it was a non-issue she had no idea what I was talking about. She sounded genuinely confused.
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  • I told her, "Hey, you texted me this morning asking me to change my hair color," and she said she never did any such thing.
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  • Well... lo and behold, it turns out her mother took her phone and messaged me, pretending to be the bride.
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    via Canva+ Georgiejevic

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  • The worst part about the mother's betrayal is that she went behind her daughter's back. 

    She tried to make it seem like she was being a bridezilla, which could turn her entire friend group against her. However, the attempt to sabotage her friendships resulted in a strengthening of the entire group's conviction. They were going to show up to the wedding dressed like Mad Max extras if they felt like it, and what's most wholesome is that the bride supported all of it. 

  • Honestly, I'm not terribly shocked. Her mom has made plenty of comments about the wedding party before.
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  • For example, she said one of the bridesmaids should remove her nose ring (even though it has cultural significance), and that
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  • another should either not wear or somehow hide her insulin pump under her dress. She's also made repeated comments about me being a man instead of
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  • a woman, and how "unconventional" it is for me to be the Maid of Honor.
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  • Anyway, my best friend made it very clear that under no circumstances does she want me to change my hair color this close
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  • to the wedding. She said it would be a completely ridiculous ask.
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  • So, I'm going to the wedding with my blue hair, despite her mother's wishes. I'm still the Man of Honor,
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  • and I can't wait to stand beside her on one of the most important days of her life.
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  • Now all that's left is finding her something old, something new, something borrowed... and I'm her something blue.
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  • UPDATE #2 So one of you suggested that either the bride or myself reach out to the rest of the wedding party to see if the mom had pulled anything similar
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  • with them... and yeah. She absolutely did. She contacted three of the bridesmaids and one of the groomsmen,
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  • basically trying the same thing she tried with me. It gets worse though she asked one bridesmaid to hide her insulin pump, another to cover her tattoos,
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  • and told a groomsman not to wear his hearing aids. At this point, the bride. is seriously debating whether she even wants her mother at the wedding anymore.
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  • We've now confirmed with everyone in the wedding party that no changes are actually needed, and we love everyone the way they are and it's pretty clear the mother of the bride is just on a full-blown power trip.
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  • Because of all this, the bride and I are reaching out to the venue to arrange security in case anything goes sideways. We both agreed it's better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it.
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  • As for what happens. next, whatever the bride decides about her mom, I'm 100% backing her. This whole situation has been wild.
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  • Hopefully this is the final update thank you all for the advice and support.
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  • It's not often that we see tales of family drama at a wedding pan out for the best, but this bride proved that she was not only going to support her friends, but she wanted to have her own style of wedding, even if that meant driving a wedge between herself and her overbearing mother. 

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