Man takes gaming laptop on family vacation, doesn't understand when wife gets annoyed at him gaming in the evenings: 'I already spent the entire day being social'

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  • Am I wrong for bringing my gaming setup on a family trip and "missing out" on bonding time?

    So my wife and I planned this long weekend getaway to a cabin near the lake with my brother and his girlfriend we agreed it was going to be a relaxing time to unplug and just chill out away from work stress. now you have to understand that I work in a high pressure engineering firm and my main way to actually decompress after a week
  • of spreadsheets and CAD models is playing a few rounds of Dota or Destiny with my old college buddies. it is my "me time" and it keeps me sane. before we left I packed my laptop and headset because I knew there would be downtime in the evenings while everyone was just sitting around the fire or drinking wine.
  • The first two days were great we went hiking and did some grilling and spent basically ten hours a day together doing "family stuff". but once the sun went down and everyone started nursing their third glass of wine and talking about the same old stories for the hundredth time I decided to head to the back room and hop online for maybe two hours max . I
  • wasn't being loud and I even wore my headset so I wouldn't disturb anyone. on the third night my wife comes into the room looking all annoyed and says that my brothers girlfriend thinks I am being "anti social" and that I am "ruining the vibe" of the group trip.
  • I told her that I had already spent the entire day being social and that I deserve to relax how I want during my vacation too. she says that the whole point of a group trip is to be present and that bringing my "toys" makes me look like a teenager who doesnt want to
  • be there. I think it is unfair because they were just sitting in the living room scrolling on their phones anyway while the TV was on in the background. how is my gaming any different from them being on tiktok or instagram for hours? now there is this weird tension and my wife is acting like I committed some
  • huge betrayal of the family bond. I really dont see the big deal since I was there for all the "important" parts of the day.
  • Close up of a man gaming on a laptop as seen from behind
  • CoconutSylveon You agreed it was going to be a time to unplug but then brought a gaming setup? I think that alone makes it YTB.
  • Chaosofa MadHatter In this case, YTB. I'm a gamer too and I love nothing more than playing to unwind, but sometimes you gotta read the room. Yeah, they're on their phones and only being pseudo social, but it's meant as an actual part of bonding. Casual social interaction where you
  • all exist together is important. If you were playing something like Animal Crossing on the switch in the same room as them, it would be different because you're still meeting that pseudo social interaction, and you can step away if needed at a moment's notice. But
  • when you're cordoned off you're not participating in the organic socialness that arises in those situations.
  • EmotionalSouth Yes. YTA. Be an adult and spend some time without gaming. Part of having relationships is it not always being about getting your own way.
  • Slight-Concept2575 I think it's extremely weird that you can't spend one weekend not gaming.
  • mladyhawke YTA how embarrassing for your wife
  • alicat777777 I agree with your wife. It's a cabin. Unplug for a while.
  • Fuelfemme What are you, 12?? Of course you're TBF. It's a weekend. If you can't go that long without playing, you have a problem. You're an addict
  • Gizmosraging rection Yes. You aren't a child. you can spend a few days with out playing video games.
  • mc_345 Everyone sitting around the fire or drinking wine telling stories means spending time together and you are off gaming instead of hanging out with your wife. I'm shocked you got away with it at all let alone a few nights. If I saw my husband
  • even packing his gaming headphones I would have shut it down immediately. If my husband went off into another room instead of hanging out with me by the fire during our cabin by the lake getaway I'd be seriously hurt and question if he even liked me at all. I
  • would also feel so embarrassed that my husband put me in that position around my friends/family to have to explain his actions. You are telling everyone that you are with that you don't want to be around them. Of course you're
  • being judged. I'm sure gaming isn't the ONLY way you can relax? Isn't the whole weekend relaxing? I'm hearing a lot of "me me me |||” like your stress or need to relax is unique from everyone else's, and that you're not hearing her.
  • HCIBSW YTB When I saw the title, I thought this must be a kid, 13 or 14. Well you grownup, you proved me wrong.

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