Unemployed woman refuses to wake up for 1pm job interview, chews out roommate for not waking her up: 'I’m not her caretaker'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Apr 30, 2026 10:00 AM EDT

At a certain age, it is your responsibility to wake yourself up when you need to be up. 

We should all have more grace for each other. We're all trying to figure it out, and nobody has it perfectly nailed down. We're all running around doing the best we can, just trying to make it work. But at a certain point, you have to take responsibility for your own life. You get to be a certain age, and you stop getting so much slack. You don't want to inconvenience other people through your own incompetence. You have to get it together at a certain point, or get help. And that starts with waking up in the morning and getting out of bed. This is step one. Sometimes it's the hardest step, sure. It can be the worst thing that we have to do all day. But if you don't do that, it's hard to do much of anything else. 

I'm a heavy sleeper, so I get it. It's not easy to drag yourself out of bed in the morning. You sleep through alarms as if they never went off. You will wake up, turn the snooze button on, and not even remember doing it. In some ways, it's a blessing. It's good to sleep well. But that doesn't mean it's not your fault when you oversleep. It happens, but unless someone is intentionally sabotaging you, it's your fault. Sorry to say. The woman in this story didn't think so, though, and blamed her roommate when it all came tumbling down. At a certain point, you have to become accountable for your own actions and stop looking outside of yourself for the answer. You won't get very far that way, and you'll lose a lot of friends in the process. That's what was threatening to happen here, between two roommates who couldn't quite figure it out. Keep scrolling to read what happened here and see what you think about it. Then see what commenters had to say in the section below. 

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  • A woman is asleep on her couch with a laptop
    via Resume Genius

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I in the wrong because I didn't wake my friend up when she had an important meeting?

    Me and my friend live together for three years now. She has no job and today she had an appointment at some place (not a job interview) where they talk about her future and stuff. I'm moving to my boyfriend next month and she struggles with money and her mental health and for that, this appointment was important.
    via Sorry_Breadfruit00
  • I'm working from home, starting at 6am, so I went to her room at 9 (like she asked me to yesterday) to wake her up. She said another time. I called her 5 times (cause my feet is sprained and walking is tricky right now) on phone she said I should just wake her up again after my meeting at 11am. Problem was that with the
    via Sorry_Breadfruit00
  • meeting came a whole wave of calls to me and I couldn't just leave. Tbh though I also forgot in that moment that I could just call her and I wasn't sure when her appointment would start. So after work was going smooth again I went to her room. She was already up and in the bathroom.
    via Sorry_Breadfruit00
  • I went to my office again, and suddenly she came in asking angrily if I didn't wake her up after my 11am meeting? I told her no because I had a call. Turns out her appointment was at 1pm. And then she took her w d stuff, went to her room and slammed the door.
    via Sorry_Breadfruit00
  • I feel like the biggest ah le, but at the same time I feel a bit angry. Because I'm not her caretaker. But then, I did agree to wake her up after my meeting and I didn't.
    via Sorry_Breadfruit00

  • Commenters agreed that this was a lot to ask.

    Queen_Andromeda She can't wake herself up and get ready for a very important meeting at 1pm? Are you joking? She needs to get a grip
    via Queen_Andromeda
  • numbahibbage NTA. I also had a friend like this, and it's exhausting. If the appointment was important to her, she would have set an alarm. You woke her six times. If she missed her appointment, now she can continue to carry on her
    via numbahibbage
  • A woman is asleep on an ottoman
    via Sinitta Leunen

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • narrative that everything is everyone else's fault. If the appointment was at 8 a.m., asking for a little backup might be reasonable, but if you miss a 1 p.m. appointment, that's just self-sabotage.
    via numbahibbage
  • Simple-Counter-9... I vote.... Not the mom! Maybe she should take a break from smoking and work of her lack of motivation.
    via Simple-Counter-9425
  • paul_rudds_drag_... So she's jobless, dependent, annoying, immature, inconsiderate, and emotionally volatile? Wow, why would you ever not want to live with her? NTA
    via paul_rudds_drag_race
  • PlumPat61 Not the AH also not a snooze alarm. She asked you to wake her, you did, she kept sleeping. Not your responsibility to keep waking her up. Totally on her. She needs a loud alarm clock that she sets and puts across the room.
    via PlumPat61
  • IcyAssistance5117 OK I think we can see why she does not have a job. You are at risk of becoming an enabler here. Take a step back, read what you have said as if you were a stranger and think about what advice you give. Remember you are not an alarm clock, she has a phone
    via IcyAssistance5117
  • fromhelley If you can call her, she has a phone. That phone has an alarm, and a snooze setting. You are not an alarm. It is logical that you have no snooze setting! Also, you were busy with you JOB!
    via fromhelley
  • StarsOfMine NTA. This is on her, not you. She's an adult and needs to learn to start managing her time properly or get help so she can learn to do manage her own. What is she going to do when you move out?
    via StarsOfMine
  • Gorgeous1962 You are not her mother. She is an adult and needs to grow up.
    via Gorgeous1962
  • Team_Captain_Am... NTA - You tried waking her up multiple times. There are other things she should have put in place if this meeting was that important to her.
    via Team_Captain_America
  • ladysquirrel1 Your friend is an adult. She needs to act like one. Stop enabling her.
    via ladysquirrel1
  • DragonfruitSafe24... NTA - She's a GROWN adult and needs to put on her big girl pants and wake up and be responsible for herself. You did help her out and tried to wake her. It's not your fault she didn't get up
    via DragonfruitSafe2435
  • the first two times. Do NOT feel guilty for her behavior. You are also not her mom. She is just projecting so it's not her fault when IT IS 100% Her fault.
    via DragonfruitSafe2435

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family drama roommate drama bad roommates roommates job interview unemployment sleeping
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