Dad charges his 20-year-old son $400 for rent, utilities, and groceries, then the entitled son gives him the silent treatment; sparks parenting debate: 'He lives at home’

Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer
Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
May 16, 2026 5:45 PM EDT

Every parent's baby grows into a kid, then a teenager, and finally a young adult, but at what stage should they start learning about the financial responsibilities of the real world? 

This dad and his wife were struggling with finances recently, and because their 20-year-old son was living with them, fully employed and spending his money on new computer upgrades for his video games, this dad decided it might be high time he started teaching his boy about rent. 

However, this credible teaching moment soured instantly when the son scoffed at the $400 monthly request, refusing to acknowledge that he was still living out of his parents' fridge, off the family's electric bill, and by the seat of his parents' dwindling savings account. He's no longer a child, but this immature tantrum in response to a reasonable request is making him seem like a toddler going through the terrible twos again. 

I started paying my own bills the day I turned 18. Moved out, attending university, and living a life away from my parents' house, I knew I was on my own with my groceries, my rent payment, my utilities, and my phone bill. Forced to budget from my part-time job, times were tough at first, but now a frugal sense of stability is instilled in my adult mind. I know I can always count on myself to get my bills paid and my needs met. 

This kid, though, was 20 years old, fully employed and making more money than his parents did at that age, and still expecting to be treated like a high schooler asking for gas money to go to the movies. Frankly, in a world where you can barely find a crumbling studio for $1000, groceries cost $200+ per trip, and the electric bill seems to be on a randomly set sliding scale, $400 a month is a measly request. Help your parents out, stop being a freeloader, and grow up already, Jake. The world will quickly move on with or without you, and if your parents' generosity runs out, you'll be catapulted into a world of adulting you never thought was possible.

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  • Cheezburger Image 10631268608
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  • [I'm] charging my 20yo son rent while he lives at home

    I (45M) have a 20-year- old son, "Jake," who finished his associate degree last year and has been working full-time for about 6 months. He makes decent money for his age. Since he graduated, he's been living at home rent-free.
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  • Lately, I've noticed he's spending almost his entire paycheck on expensive hobbies, eating out every night, and upgrading his PC every other week. Meanwhile, my wife and I are feeling the pinch of rising utility bills and grocery costs.
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  • Cheezburger Image 10631268864
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  • Last weekend, I sat him down and told him that starting next month, I want him to contribute $400 a month towards "household expenses."
    via Talon_Vector7
  • This covers his room, utilities, high-speed internet, and the fact that my wife still does most of the grocery shopping. For context, a studio apartment in our area goes for at least $1,200.
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  • Jake got upset and said I'm "profiting off my own kid" and that he was planning to save that money for a car (though I haven't seen much saving happening). Now
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  • my wife is mad at me too. She says I'm being too hard on him and that we should be "launchpad" for him, not a landlord. She thinks I'm pushing him out of the house before he's ready.
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  • I feel like I'm just trying to teach him basic financial responsibility and offset the actual costs of having an extra adult in the house. I told them both that if he doesn't like the "rent," he's free to look at market rates elsewhere.
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  • My wife thinks I'm being an AH and making the home environment hostile. Jake is currently giving me the silent treatment.
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  • Riftlance88. $400 for rent, utilities, and groceries is a steal. He is basically living in a luxury hotel compared to what he would pay on the open market. It is time for him to learn that adulthood costs money.
    via Riftlance88
  • Falls OffCliffs12. Both my kids lived at home after college for a year or so. They both had good jobs. We didn't charge rent because they were actively saving both for down payments and investing for retirement. After a year they both had enough for a down payment and moved out.
    via Falls OffCliffs12
  • If they hadn't been good with their money, and were blowing it stupidly, I would have charged rent, just to save something for them.
    via Falls OffCliffs12
  • QueenCelis ⚫ My 20 year old lives at home. The deal is he doesn't have to pay rent as long as he shows me he is putting money is his savings account and IRA every month.
    via QueenCelis
  • Ok_Maintenance7... . How long does your wife think it will take for your kid to launch from this launchpad? NTA. If anything, you should be charging more.
    via Ok_Maintenance7
  • Single_Cancel_48... . YTA for not discussing it with your wife ahead of time and agreeing on a figure and timeline together. My mom put all the money I paid aside and gave it to me when I moved out.
    via Single_Cancel_48
  • Fragrant-Half-7854. The rule for our adult kids to live at home was they had to be in school/training full time or working full time and saving 75% of their income to buy a home, open a business, etc. If they
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  • weren't putting significant effort into improving their financial future, they need to go experience what it's like to live on their current income capabilities. We won't live forever and the sooner they figure out whether they can afford the lifestyle they want or not, the better off they are.
    via Fragrant-Half-7854
  • talkative_parrot25 Please do it there are far too many 20-30 year olds still living at home that have no idea of responsibility
    via talkative_parrot25
  • FluffyOwl30 Tell your wife to contribute more for sons part of the utilities and food he's eating.
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  • Man-o-Bronze ⚫ "She thinks I'm pushing him out of the house before he's ready." He's not going anywhere once he sees how sweet a deal he'll have at $400 a month.
    via Man-o-Bronze
  • Mylar_Quill Teaching financial responsibility is good but maybe frame it as a savings account for his future car if the rent feels too mean?
    via Mylar_Quill
  • Hot Phase_1435. Tell your ungrateful child to stop being a j . Would happily pay my mom $400 a month. Geeze what is wrong with kids these days. Seriously! →
    via Hot Phase_1435

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