'Some surprises are nice, some are not': Dad gets stuck with a $600 restaurant bill when his future son-in-law bails on paying, awkward stalemate causes a loyal daughter to back up her family

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  • AIO for refusing to back down from insisting my fiancée is wrong for leaving my dad with the bill
  • My fiancée invited my parents, his parents, and me to a very fancy dinner ($40 for the cheapest item) to celebrate our engagement. He picked out the place, but he only told me the location 3 hours prior to going, no further
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  • details. He likes surprises, so I was fine letting him have this. We had a lovely time during dinner. We excused ourselves early due to him working in the morning.
  • I asked him if his parents were going to take the bill, to which he said "they're adults, they'll figure it out". This didn't sit right with me, but we were already gone and I really thought his parents would cover it.
  • When I saw my parents later, they were acting subdued and I figured something went wrong.
  • When I called my dad the next day (for unrelated reasons) he told me an uncomfortably long amount of time had passed and no one had touched the bill,
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  • which had arrived before we had left. He and my mom eventually ended up spliting the bill, which was a total of $600+. My parents
  • stated they were bewildered and disappointed and asked that I pass that along. I told him that my parents brought up something to my attention that we
  • needed to talk. He ignored my text. I sent a slightly passive aggressive text, and he responded with an angry call, telling me he was at work, he was busy,
  • this was an inappropriate time to bring it up, then hung up on me. I didn't like that, so I called again, and received a very similar response. We didn't talk
  • until he got off work, then he acted like everything was ok. I mentioned talking about the dinner again and he got very mad.
  • The next day, I got radio silence. He always sends a good morning text, even when he's mad, but nothing. I called him on my way to work, and it went to voicemail. I tried again a couple minutes later so I could leave a voicemail, and
  • he picked up, sounding very annoyed. I tried to offer an olive branch, stating we would need to talk about it, but wanted to wait until we could see each
  • other in person and wanted peace until. He responded that he was too busy, I was putting too much stress on him, and hung up. I was sick and tired of trying to mediate the situation and did not text him.
  • When he got home from work, he called me. It started great. But then he went into how I was making this too big of a deal. I asked him who he expected
  • to pay for dinner, he straight up told me that he had expected my dad to cover the cost of a $600+ bill. He said because I knew that he had planned
  • something and that he had taken the initiative to make the reservations that he did not have to pay as it "was not a surprise" to my family. I tried to tell him that some
  • surprises are nice, like getting invited to a nice dinner, and some are not, like having to pay for said dinner. He said that if he had invited his friends to
  • dinner, they would have paid for themself. I told him, this wasn't friends, this was his family. We hung up, and I sent a final text
  • He has not responded since.
  • Actual_Group9196 The one who invites pays. Marrying this guy will be a mistake and your parents know. He's very entitled and has his hands in others pockets already.

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