Employee refuses to cover for coworker Dina's absences after she blamed her for a shared project mistake, leaving her with a formal note in her file

Author image for Cata Holmes
Cata Holmes • Writer
Jun 6, 2026 2:30 PM EDT

How many workplace favors are you expected to do before enough is enough?

Most people understand that workplace relationships run on a mixture of cooperation, trust, and the occasional favor. Maybe you cover a shift for someone in a pinch. Maybe you can help explain a mistake before it becomes a bigger issue. Maybe you quietly look the other way when a coworker is running a few minutes late. These small acts of goodwill happen every day, and most of the time they're part of what makes a workplace function smoothly.

Of course, there's an unspoken expectation attached to those favors. Nobody keeps score, but people generally assume the support goes both ways. If someone helps you out repeatedly, you would hope they'd receive the same consideration when they need it. That's what separates a healthy working relationship from one that feels entirely one-sided.

The problem arises when one person starts treating that goodwill as something they're entitled to rather than something they've earned. Suddenly, favors stop feeling voluntary and start feeling expected. The coworker who once appreciated your help begins assuming you'll always be there to smooth things over, cover for them, or absorb the consequences when things go wrong.

That's why stories like the one shared by AlertShape5681 on r/AITH resonate with so many readers. The conflict isn't really about one meeting, one project, or even one comment made to a manager. It's about what happens when trust gets broken. Once someone demonstrates that they're willing to protect themselves at your expense, it's hard to continue acting as though nothing happened.

What's particularly frustrating is that people often label the resulting boundary as "petty" rather than acknowledging the behavior that created it. Refusing to continue doing favors for someone isn't necessarily revenge. Sometimes it's simply a reassessment of the relationship. If one person has shown they're unwilling to extend the same loyalty they've been receiving, the dynamic changes, whether anyone likes it or not.

At the end of the day, workplace goodwill is a lot like credit. It takes time to build, but it can disappear surprisingly quickly. Once a coworker has convinced you that they'll throw you under the bus when the pressure is on, it's difficult to blame anyone for deciding that future favors are no longer part of the arrangement.

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  • 01
    A professional speaks on the phone while taking notes at her desk in an office environment.
    via Unsplash+ (via Vitaly Gariev)

    A professional speaks on the phone while taking notes at her desk in an office environment.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    So I need some outside perspective because my boyfriend thinks I am overreacting and my best friend thinks I am completely justified.
    via AlertShape5681
  • 03
    Me and this coworker, lets call her Dina, have worked together for about two years. We are not best friends but we have always been friendly. Like we eat lunch together sometimes, we vent about work stuff, normal coworker relationship.
    via AlertShape5681
  • 04
    For the past several months she has been leaving early or coming in late maybe two or three times a week. Family stuff, appointments, whatever. I never asked. Whenever our manager would notice she was gone I would just say oh she stepped out for a bit or she is in the bathroom or something small. Nothing major. I was just being a decent person.
    via AlertShape5681
  • 05
    Last month we had a situation where a client complaint came in and my manager called both of us into a meeting. It was about a project we both worked on. I will be honest I did make one mistake on my part, small but it was there. Dina on the other hand had dropped the ball in like three different ways on her end.
    via AlertShape5681
  • 06
    In that meeting my manager is going through what went wrong and Dina straight up looked at him and said honestly I think most of the confusion started on her end. Meaning me. Just like that. Did not mention her own mistakes at all. My manager looked at me and I just sat there because I genuinely could not believe what I was hearing.
    via AlertShape5681
  • 07
    I got a formal note put in my file. Dina got nothing.
    via AlertShape5681
  • 08
    After the meeting I did not say anything that day because I was too shocked honestly. The next morning she came in and asked me to tell the manager she had a dentist appointment if he asked where she was. I looked at her and said I am not going to do that anymore.
    via AlertShape5681
  • 09
    She got quiet and asked what I meant. I told her that after what happened in that meeting I was not comfortable covering for her. She said those were two completely separate things and I was being petty. I said I did not think they were that separate at all.
    via AlertShape5681
  • 10
    She has been cold to me ever since and apparently told another coworker that I am being dramatic about something that happened weeks ago. My boyfriend says I should have just talked to her properly instead of shutting her down like that. My best friend says I owe her nothing after what she did.
    via AlertShape5681
  • 11
    An office employee sits at her desk looking away from her laptop while working in a modern workplace.
    via Unsplash+ (via Vitaly Gariev)

    An office employee sits at her desk looking away from her laptop while working in a modern workplace.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 12
    I genuinely do not know. Part of me feels like I made my point and part of me wonders if I handled it badly. AITAH
    via AlertShape5681
  • 13
    Cocoa Almonds Rock NTA. You shouldn't have been lying for her in the first place. Let her find someone else to lie for her. And clearly you should be documenting everything everywhere because your teammates can't be trusted.
    via AlertShape5681
  • 14
    ShermanOneNine87 I do not understand how one can "so shocked" they cannot stand up for themselves when being formally rebuked by a boss. Go back to your boss, clarify the situation. Going forward, don't cover for her, you shouldnt have to begin with but you can't come clean to your boss now because you'll like you're being petty.
    via AlertShape5681
  • 15
    Armadillo_Abroad Sooo...she's asking you to lie for her? Regularly? You understand what could happen to YOU if the boss catches on? You'll be it trouble for lying. Another note to file. Another step towards termination. NTA except towards yourself. And you should go discuss that first note to file and the project. And document, document, document everything from now on.
    via AlertShape5681
  • 16
    deluluenfpgirl ΝΤΑ, But since she called you petty, next time, tell her that you'll cover for her, then throw her under the bus as well.
    via AlertShape5681
  • 17
    ukbakeslotsofcakes I understand the shock, I've been there myself and you get stuck within your own morality of not wanting to point out where the fault actually lay - cause you don't want to be the office snitch while trying to comprehend how your 'friend' has just been the office snitch and lay all the blame on you.
    via AlertShape5681
  • 18
    Top-Bit85 Next time stick up for yourself in the moment. She was so wrong.
    via AlertShape5681
  • 19
    iluvcats17 NTA but you should have also spoken up to your manager in the meeting too about her errors instead of sitting quiet. If you want to succeed at work, you need to find your voice.
    via AlertShape5681
  • 20
    unimpressed-one I agree with your boyfriend, you should have talked to her properly and spoken up in the meeting. Always speak up for yourself!
    via AlertShape5681
  • 21
    Two coworkers review information together on a desktop computer during a discussion at the office.
    via Unsplash+ (via LinkedIn Sales Solutions)

    Two coworkers review information together on a desktop computer during a discussion at the office.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 22
    Pathless Master When you said you constantly lied to your manager is when I lost interest in your story. Have more integrity, at least say I don't know or something noncommittal. Don't devalue yourself to lie for people who chronically don't fulfill their obligations.
    via AlertShape5681
  • 23
    choneyisland I think they are both right as from now on don't do her any favours as she is clearly a snake but for your own sake you should have confronted her about the meeting and called another meeting with your boss explaining that yes you did make one mistake but the rest was Dina's mistakes. People treat you how you let them so stand up for yourself and if you hear her saying anymore about you go to HR.
    via AlertShape5681
  • 24
    theEx30 talk to the manager about your side of those mistakes made. Say what is your responsibillity and what i scoworker's
    via AlertShape5681

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