Mom worries about inviting badly behaved girl to daughter's birthday party, texts dad to request she doesn't open the gifts: 'This girl has no rules'

• 
  via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

  _{^{A representation of a mom holding a birthday cake out to her daughter, who is sitting at a table with other children wearing party hats}}

• A mom was feeling concerned about her upcoming birthday party for her young daughter due to some family members she felt obligated to invite. The daughter of her cousin had a tendency to be badly behaved, and in particular liked to open other people's gifts at birthday parties.

  The mom didn't want this to happen at her daughter's party, so she made sure to text her cousin and request that he make sure the girl would not ‘help' her relative open her presents. However, she was worried that she had overstepped by asking him to help her in that matter.

• Am I wrong for texting this?

  My daughter’s birthday is coming up, and I have to invite a family member. This girl has no rules and parents who do not discipline her. Every time she goes to a birthday party, she gets to “help” open the gifts. I hate it. This is my daughter's party. She gets to be the first to open her gifts and doesn’t need help. I want to watch just my daughter open gifts and take pictures of just her. 

• 
  via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

  _{^{A representation of three young girls sitting at a table wearing party hats, having a discussion}}

• So I sent this to her dad: Hey, can I ask a favor? For my daughter’s birthday, can you please make sure your daughter doesn’t help open her presents? I know she’s excited and wants to be involved, but it’s important to me that my daughter gets to enjoy opening her own gifts and have that special moment herself. I also like being able to take pictures of her opening her presents without other kids in the middle of it. This has come up at a few birthdays now, and I’d really appreciate your help addressing it beforehand so I don’t have to step in and say something during the party. Thanks, I appreciate it.

  ***they are family, cousins***

  _{^{Horror-Salad-2914}}

• 
  via Compagnons

  _{^{A representation of a woman's hands and a child's hands reaching for a wrapped gift on a soft surface}}

• 
  Nta but you don't have to invite her. I'd not invite her, AND tell the parents why, that the day is for your daughter, not theirs.

  _^Jsmith2127

  You and other trusted person sit on either side of the birthday girl and control who has access to her physically. Time for cake and presents and there you are!

  _{^{tinytrolldancer}}

  The problem with dealing with irrational people is that there is no logical argument that will appear them. It doesn’t really matter if this text is appropriate. It only matters how they feel at the time they get it. You can scream at the moon but parents do not start parenting after getting a text.

  _{^{ExcitingVegetable315}}

  I assume invitation has already been sent. If so, you will need to secure the gifts and present them to your daughter one at a time. Have one final dollar store gift saved for last to give the obnoxious cousin. But also have the same type of gift for each kid in attendance. This way, when cousin tries to “help” you can tell her to wait, that her gift is coming just not yet. Ask your partner or other trusted family to help corral the problem kid.

  Good luck!

  _^LabInner262

  
   

• 
  via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

  _{^{A representation of three young girls sitting at a table wearing party hats, with two of the girls whispering to one another}}

Tags