Sister-in-law allows kids to take snacks at her house, dad freaks out because she doesn't make them ask first: 'It's my house and my rules'

Ally Perry • Writer and Editor

Jun 12, 2026 9:15 AM EDT

Should a parent be allowed to enforce their house rules on their children outside of their own home?

One of the greatest difficulties of parenting is consistency. When a parent has an idea of what they want to teach their children and how they would prefer them to behave, making sure that they achieve that goal usually means staying dedicated to certain rules, no matter how much of a struggle that can sometimes be. At the same time, it is also important to give some grace to yourself and others; no parent is perfect at their job all of the time.

As well as this, there is only so much control that any parent can have over the lives of their kids. Not every environment they experience is going to have the same standards as home, and while this can be annoying, it can also sometimes be a good thing. An alternative point of view is not always going to be the end of the world, and just because you don't agree with the parenting styles of others doesn't mean that they are harmful. Accepting this is another matter, in particular if you believe that they get in the way of how you want to parent your kids.

via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

_{^{A representation of two young girls eating chips from a bowl while sitting on a couch}}
A mom was facing pushback from her brother-in-law for what she allowed his kids to do when they were visiting her house. Her children were allowed to get themselves snacks without asking for permission, and so she let her nieces and nephews do the same. Their father, however, enforced a rule in his home that kids had to ask for snacks.
As they were not under his roof and her own kids respected his rules when they visited, she didn't think there was any problem. However, her brother-in-law was angered by what he perceived as a lack of control over what his children were eating.
Am I wrong for not enforcing my brother-in-law's house rules in my house?

via Cheap-Snow-7589
via Cheap-Snow-7589
via Cheap-Snow-7589
via Cheap-Snow-7589
via Cheap-Snow-7589
via Cheap-Snow-7589
via Cheap-Snow-7589
via Cheap-Snow-7589
via Cemrecan Yurtman

_{^{A representation of a close-up of shelves filled with candy bars, muffins, and cookies}}
via Aggravating-Plum8147
via Femmack
via Femmack
via ProfessionalSoil8045
via Short-Sandwich-8476
via Foundation_Wrong
via Heavy-Profit-2156
via Anxious-Routine-5526
via Just-Like-My-Opinion