Parents hijack son's vacation plans and repeatedly push back against inviting his wife's family, so he cancels the trip altogether: 'My wife's family isn't his family'

Author image for Cata Holmes
Cata Holmes • Writer
Jun 17, 2026 8:00 AM EDT

Should parents have a say in who gets invited on a family vacation they didn't plan?

This is not another story where the in-laws do not approve of their son's partner and try to exclude her from every plan. This one is far more complicated, because not only are we talking about a married couple with three daughters, but we're also talking about flying to the husband's home country, where all his family lives, and from where they protest about the trip.

I can totally relate to this story because my whole family lives in different countries. We have no close relatives in out home city, so we tend to travel to visit quite often. Even though my grandparents (or even my parents) have never rejected a partner like the ones in this story, I can say that being jealous about having the other family join the trip is not that uncommon.

See, when you live far away from your own family, you really expect to see them and get really excited when a trip is finally getting organised. And since you miss them and want to share your time with them, it's a bit annoying when they propose to bring their in-laws. It's not about not wanting to receive them: it's more about having them hang out with other people rather than you. Plus, everything gets weirder if you don't know the people they're bringing.

Although I tend to side with the family here, I don't think their response was that accurate. Having the son cancel the trip because of how much they pressured him is a mistake. No matter how deep the jealousy was, I believe they had to hold on for one second before exploding and sharing those thoughts. What's your opinion? What would you have done?

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  • A representation of a man standing on a beach near the shoreline.
    via Unsplash+ (via Rana Sawalha)

    A representation of a man standing on a beach near the shoreline.

     

  • I (31M) am planning a trip to my home country with my wife and our three young daughters. The main goal of the trip is to visit family, eat good food, and take a break from work and our normal routine.
    via Ill-Working-551
  • A few weeks ago, during a video call with my mom and grandmother, I mentioned that I'd like to take everyone to the beach while we were there. It wasn't a formal plan, just something I brought up in conversation.
    via Ill-Working-551
  • A couple weeks later, my wife and I started looking at Airbnbs. We found a beachfront place in a quiet town that we both liked. I've spent a lot of time working in that country before, so I'm familiar with the area and specifically wanted to avoid the huge tourist-heavy resort city nearby.
    via Ill-Working-551
  • I sent the listing to my mom just to get her opinion.
    via Ill-Working-551
  • The next day, after a long day at work, I got home and my dad immediately started telling me that the Airbnb I found was dangerous, that we weren't staying there, and that we were staying somewhere else instead. He had already talked to my brother about booking a different property.
    via Ill-Working-551
  • This caught me completely off guard because my dad wasn't even part of the planning process. He's currently staying in the US while the rest of the family is back home.
    via Ill-Working-551
  • I called my mom and brother to find out what was going on. They said the place I picked was too far from a popular tourist attraction and that we'd like the other property better. They also said they wanted to pay for it as a gift.
    via Ill-Working-551
  • I told them the issue wasn't money. What bothered me was that everyone seemed to be making decisions for my family without talking to me first.
    via Ill-Working-551
  • Things got more complicated because my wife and I had also discussed inviting some of her family members. At that point, my mom and brother started saying things like there wouldn't be enough room, transportation would be difficult, and sleeping arrangements would be uncomfortable.
    via Ill-Working-551
  • After a longer discussion, it became pretty clear that they simply didn't want my wife's family involved.
    via Ill-Working-551
  • My wife was hurt by this because she had been trying to include everyone. I was angry because it felt like the entire trip had stopped being about spending time together and had turned into a power struggle.
    via Ill-Working-551
  • A representation of an older couple making a video call on a smartphone from their living room.
    via Unsplash+ (via Vitaly Gariev)

    A representation of an older couple making a video call on a smartphone from their living room.

  • A few days later, my wife and I decided to compromise and stay at the property my family preferred. We figured it wasn't worth fighting over.
    via Ill-Working-551
  • Then my brother messaged me saying the price had gone up significantly and they didn't want to book it anymore.
    via Ill-Working-551
  • So we were back to square one.
    via Ill-Working-551
  • We started looking at alternatives and mentioned that my wife's sister might be able to get a few days off from university and join us. The moment that came up, the same objections started again.
    via Ill-Working-551
  • At that point I lost my temper and canceled the beach trip entirely.
    via Ill-Working-551
  • I told my family I wasn't interested in spending my vacation trying to manage everyone's opinions and that I wasn't going to exclude my wife's family to keep them happy.
    via Ill-Working-551
  • Things got worse afterward. My dad called me angry because my mom had apparently told him that we weren't speaking anymore. During that conversation he accused me of causing unrelated family problems, including my brother dropping out of university, said. I hated my brother (I don't), and claimed that he had been planning this beach trip as a gift for us all along.
    via Ill-Working-551
  • A representation of a person using a laptop while sitting on a bed.
    via Unsplash+ (via Getty Images)

    A representation of a person using a laptop while sitting on a bed.

  • From my perspective, the beach trip only became "his gift" after I asked my mom what she thought about the Airbnb I had found.
    via Ill-Working-551
  • The argument eventually came down to this: my dad said my wife's family isn't his family, and I said this was supposed to be my vacation with my wife and children, not something my parents got to control.
    via Ill-Working-551
  • Now my parents think I'm ungrateful and overreacted. I think they crossed a line by taking over plans that weren't theirs to make and trying to dictate who could be included.
    via Ill-Working-551

  • The story shared by u/Ill-Working-551 in r/AITH can teach us a lesson. Sometimes, it is best to think beyond yourself and to put yourself in the other person's shoes. From the POV of the son, he just wanted to share the moment with his wife's family and show them where he comes from. He didn't have bad intentions, and I think he expected to have his family's support.  

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family drama in laws family vacation son
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