Dad tells mom that he felt sick to his stomach when she turned away from their 4-month old baby for 5 minutes to check her phone: 'Caring for my mental health by taking breaks is sickening?'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Jun 18, 2026 7:45 AM EDT

Why can't he let his wife have a five-minute break from engaging with their baby?

There's no way of knowing how crazy it is to have a baby until you actually have one. Everyone talks about how stressful it is to feed them, hold them constantly, and wake up every 2-3 hours at night to do both. Having the life of a totally helpless person in your hands is stressful enough, but if you're doing it all alone, all day, you can start to get a little batty. It's harder to stay grounded, and in reality, when you barely ever leave your house because you are constantly consumed with the responsibility of changing diapers and soothing tears. The toddler years can be a relief to those parents who aren't necessarily "baby people."

At the same time, it is very stressful to be the sole provider for you, your partner, and your children. Both parents must share in their child's care, but working outside the home for more than half the day can also take a toll. It doesn't matter that you get bathroom breaks and are permitted to have adult conversations at work: the thought of how much your precious baby relies on you to do this job and bring home the bacon is always on your mind. 

The parents in this story are both trying to balance caring for their precious bundle of joy. The dad refuses to do anything for himself when the baby is in his care, while the mom is more willing to take a little break when the baby's needs are all met. She has to be that way because she's the one who's a stay-at-home parent, while he works half the time.

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  • a mom looking at her phone after trying to feed her baby
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A model representing a mom looking at her phone after trying to feed her baby

  • My partner said he felt sick when I turned my back on our 4 month old for 5 minutes to look at my phone.

    We were sleeping in bed in the morning, him being fed, burped and my partner changed his nappy, I tried to put him back on to feed, he bit me out of boredom so I
    via u/M0D_Mum15525
  • rolled over and said you can lay there for five minutes and he was happily playing with the back of my t-shirt and babbling when my partner asked why I had
    via u/M0D_Mum15525
  • my back to him and I said he's doesn't want anything and quite happy resting for a moment when he said it made him feel physically sick.
    via u/M0D_Mum15525
  • A dad, feeling sick to his stomach after seeing his wife turn his back on their baby.
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A man pretending to be a dad, feeling sick to his stomach after seeing his wife turn his back on their baby.

  • Here's the thing, my partner is great and does a lot for us around the house and otherwise, but he work's half the week and I am a sahm at the moment, so I eat, sleep
    via u/M0D_Mum15525
  • and breathe baby. When my partner takes the baby, I feel like he's baby sitting and forgets about everything else including his own needs, to hydrate, make himself meals and
    via u/M0D_Mum15525
  • a baby sleeping on his dad's stomach.
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Models depicting a baby sleeping on his dad's stomach.

  • maybe do the odd chores or two which I do daily. So hearing this I obviously had a go at him and was very shocked, he then apologised but it was the initial disgust that
    via u/M0D_Mum15525
  • I am dumfounded by.. I genuinely feel like I'm surviving with 5 minutes here and there to myself while the baby is occupied or content and
    via u/M0D_Mum15525
  • caring for my mental health by taking breaks and disengaging is sickening?
    via u/M0D_Mum15525
  • ManagementFinal3345 NTA. Your partner looks at you like a non human appliance that isn't allowed to have needs. Your need to disconnect for your mental health, your need to rest, your need not to be "on" 24/7 disgusted him because he doesn't see you as a person equal to himself. He sees you as a free service provider for everyone else's needs who shouldn't and isn't allowed to be fully human with needs of their own. You exist to serve 24/7. And that's it. If you aren't serving him or his offspri
    via u/ManagementFinal3345
  • Iplaythebaboon NTA your baby is not going to magically implode because you're not looking at him 24/7. Explode in his diaper maybe
    via u/Iplaythebaboon
  • Sweet_Livin NTA raising a baby is hard in so many ways that you don't anticipate. Try to give each other some grace
    via u/Sweet_Livin
  • Culture-Extension Your partner needs to spend more time helping you with the house and your child so you get some time to yourself. And 4 month old babies don't bite out of boredom or malice. Sounds like you really need a break.
    via u/Culture-Extension
  • GBOC80 NTA. Your partner is being dramatic, to say he is "physically sick" is pushing it. A baby doesn't need to be stared at constantly. You keep doing what you're doing. He's the AH, not you
    via u/GBOC80
  • Feeling Affect5225 Maybe go for a long weekend break so he can understand full time care. Maybe then he won't judge in ignorance and learn that you need time too
    via u/Feeling_Affect5225
  • Lollipopwalrus NTA. My husband would go off about me using my phone or watching TV while breastfeeding. He was always saying how I was missing crucial bonding opportunity - my newborn was cluster feeding to sleep so it was literally feeding a sleeping potato every half hour for 20 mins. I made eye contact with my baby, I'm skin to skin with baby, I barely put baby down for the 10min interval to sprint to the bathroom and have a panic attack leaving bubs. The men mean well but have no idea
    via u/Lollipopwalrus
  • justforme31 NTA. It's good for babies and kids to figure out how to entertain themselves
    via u/justforme31

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baby phone parenting dad sick break mom
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