24-year-old girlfriend decides to only do her laundry and dishes and leave her slothful 27-year-old boyfriend to fend for himself: 'You can’t really help me help you. The only way to take something off my plate is to do it yourself'

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  • a woman standing in a kitchen holding a broom
  • F/24 thinking of letting my BF M/27 fend for himself and fall on his btt to learn

    I F/24 and my boyfriend M/27 have been together for about a year and live together and as cliche as it is, have had many arguments about him not doing any household chores.
  • The usual, he tells me he will, he doesn't, I remind him, he gets frustrated, I get frustrated I have to remind a grown man to wash the dishes or take out the trash before we have bugs.
  • Well I finally made the decision that we would just do our own chores completely. I would do all of my own laundry, dishes, and clean up the room I solely use and he would do the exact same for himself. Mainly because I
  • was tired of being the one that suffered the consequences of his inaction. I would often times find myself having to rewash dishes or be without any room to wash my own so I told him he gets exactly half the
  • dishes to use and so do I, and he gets one side of the sink and cannot use the other side, it's now mine. I tried to be as fair as possible. We both came into the house with our own dishes so that's what we now use.
  • He was very apologetic and told me that he would do all of his own chores. Asked me how he could build back the trust and I simply told him that he needed to consistently do his own chores and do them well for 1 month and
  • we could chat then. Fast forward to now... and the point I'm actually asking about. We currently have a broken washer and dryer. We got another set but
  • they came broken, FML. As you can imagine we have a lot of really dirty laundry, since we were banking on these coming in, we hadn't. done any at a laundromat. I offered to go to the laundromat and do a load
  • white washing machine with laundry basket
  • of his and a load of mine. Trying to nice and take into consideration that I have a more flexible work schedule. He immediately asked if he could help me. I was confused since I wasn't
  • sure what he could do at work to help me with the laundry so I asked. He said "well idk can I help you do my laundry? It just seemed right to ask" I stared at him for a minute and just said "you can do it
  • yourself, you can't really help me help you. The only way to take something off my plate is to do it yourself. It's ridiculous at ask me if I need anything right now when you know there are no chores to be done and you know you'll never go
  • do this yourself" He was offended and told me that he would never react that way to me and I should have never offered if I was "gonna be like that". But my problem was never that I was doing
  • something for him, but that he offered to help me do him a favor when there was no reasonable way he could help, just to feel better about himself. I was pretty stern tbf, but I'm just so tired of trying
  • my best to make our life better and house better and not feeling like he is doing the same, I'm sure it is compounded anger. I don't want to just never be helpful again but I'm considering just letting
  • him fend for himself in any | area I can. Possible to salvage the domestic duties part of the relationship? What worked for y'all?
  • a bottle of hand sanitizer next to a bottle of bleach

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