Woman wonders how to properly grieve a lost best friend while he is being active everywhere but the relationship: 'Today is the first day I stopped checking his online activity and socials'

Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor

Jun 28, 2026 5:15 PM EDT

Heartbreak is not reserved for lovers

Those of us who were always very social have gotten used to the feeling of losing a friend; that specific kind of grief has become like a known path we can almost walk with our eyes closed. Culturally, we treat it as something different from grieving a romance, and in some points it is, but in others it's just the same. Lovers are all different from one another, and so are friendships; ergo, all those grievances are different from each other. I like that the woman who posted this story is wondering how to properly grieve her lost best friend, because that question will lead to a deep understanding of the process, rather than getting caught up in the 'who did what' part.

via Stefan Spassov

A picture of a model representing the grieving friend
How to properly grieve a lost best friend

via TifaLockharts
via TifaLockharts
via TifaLockharts
via TifaLockharts
via TifaLockharts
via Ariyan Ahmed Hridoy

A photo depicting a the other friend being active on social media while not talking to his grieving friend
I’ve come to realize that the trite phrase “This too shall pass” exists for a reason, and that reason is that it is a universal truth. When we’re grieving, angry, or sad, we tend to eternize the feeling. We cling to our position in the narrative, thinking that’s how we are going to feel about it forever, and in the moment, it feels very true. I’ve had a two-year separation with a friend that seemed eternal, and it wasn’t. I wasn’t thinking about him all the time in the two years we were apart; I just randomly remembered stuff, and occasionally reflected on our relationship. After two years had passed, something made me think of him one day, and I realized a process had been cooking on its own inside of me. I understood I got angry at him in the first place because he said something true, which hurt my ego, and later, talking to him, he told me he realized he made that remark because something about me hurt his ego too. It was just that, some random thing that triggered both of us. It might seem strange, but I was happy we didn’t discuss it right away; some things take time and life experience for both parties to understand them.
via TifaLockharts
via TifaLockharts
via TifaLockharts
via Marek Studzinski

A visual representation of the friend's broken heart
Digital detoxing is fine, ruminating at first is fine, you have to keep in mind that one day it won’t sting as much, and it will happen kinda on its own; you don’t have to force it, you don’t have to generate it. It’s useful to try to force yourself to do activities with other people, and activities you enjoy on your own, because that will eventually bring new experiences, and those will re-signify what happened between you and this friend. Who knows, maybe you reencounter them at another time in your life, or maybe you don’t, and you stop caring because you don’t feel as connected to them anymore. I know it’s awful to hear, but you have to let it go; when the other person doesn’t want to talk, it’s out of your control.

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