23-year-old man watches a film and realizes he is the classic "nice guy" type by identifying with the protagonist: 'As I watched Obsession, I found myself relating to bear on a semi-concerning level'

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  • man sitting at a movie theater
  • watching Obsession made me realize that im a classic "nice guy"

    23m. ive always though of myself as boyfriend material. ive only had 2 relationships in my life, both of which were in high school. got cheated on in both.
  • since then, ive been rejected/ghosted/led on by dozens of girls. until recently, I refused to acknowledge that the problem may have been me.
  • the process is similar every time: I meet a girl, I try to be friends / make moves on her, she returns platonic friendship, I eventually get ghosted or led on, which I interpret as disrespect.
  • after interpreting this disrespect, I turn nasty. if I know these girls on any personal level, then I say the rudest things I can think of as revenge for them disrespecting me. in
  • my mind, any prospects of a relationship are already doomed, so I might as well get my moneys worth.
  • often, these girls use my negative reaction as justification for why they disrespected me in the first place; I deserved to be ghosted or lied to from the start because im an ah le when I dont get my way.
  • man and woman laughing
  • as I watched Obsession, I found myself relating to bear on a semi-concerning level. the biggest thing was when nikki asked bear to k I her and my first thought was "wow, she would rather di than be with him, how r de of her."
  • the good news is, im realizing that I have this character flaw, and id like to work to improve it.
  • any advice on how to better navigate situations where I may be getting ghosted or led on without reacting negatively would be appreciated
  • a man talking to a psychologyst

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