Girlfriend refuses to lend boyfriend her car during the heatwave after he damaged and stained her previous vehicles: 'You care more about the car than you care about me'

Is a heatwave a good enough reason to ignore someone's boundaries?

This girlfriend got frustrated when her boyfriend asked her to use her car during the heatwave since his car doesn't have AC. Although this could seem innocent, she was very hesitant since he damaged two of her previous cars. He tends to be very careless, and she is not comfortable lending her the car because she can except how it's going to be returned. 

I'm standing firmly with the OP here since I'd never lend my car to someone who's not going to be responsible with it. I understand that the heatwave is crazy and that he would like to drive with the AC on, but if he's not going to be careful, then I wouldn't.

The thing that makes this story pretty interesting is that the disagreement is not really about the vehicle, but rather about how something shared between partners cannot be cared for in the same way. While someone sees a car, the other sees it as years of evidence that make them hesitant to hand it over again. Both people end up arguing about the favor, but the issue is trust.

I do believe that setting boundaries is not the same as refusing to help. There's a big difference between saying "no" and still trying to fix the problem. In this case, she offered to give him a ride to practice and them to pick him up, and he refused.

Maybe that's why situations like this spark so much debate online. Most people agree that relationships require generosity, but they also need accountability. When someone repeatedly damages, loses, or mistreats an object from the other person, it becomes harder to argue that future trust should be earned.