28-year-old discovers her college fund was secretly redirected to brother Jake because he "showed more academic promise," rebuffs dad’s request to help pay Jake’s tuition

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  • I am 28, my brother Jake is 19. When I turned 18 my parents told me there was not enough money saved for college and I had need to take out loans.
  • AITA for refusing to help pay my brother's tuition after I found out my parents used my college fund for him?

    Young woman sitting on a park bench in a red overshirt, resting her cheek on her hand.
  • I did. I have been paying them off for six years, still have four years left.
  • It's been a significant financial strain on my life. Two weeks ago I was helping my mom go through some old paperwork and came across statements for a savings account I did not recognize.
  • When I asked about it she got quiet and eventually admitted it was originally set up for me, but they'd redirected the funds toward his education over the years because he showed more academic promise." I paid for my own. degree with loans while my college fund was quietly || moved to my brother without anyone telling me.
  • A few days later my dad called asking if I had be willing to help cover some of his tuition since he is starting his second year and costs have gone up.
  • I told him no and told him exactly why. He said what's done is done and that Jake shouldn't be punished for decisions they made years ago.
  • I told him Jake isnot being punished, he is just not being funded by the person they already robbed once.
  • My mom is barely speaking to me. Jake doesn't know any of this. My dad keeps saying I am letting old anger ruin family relationships.
  • AITA?
  • xSelf-referential NTA. Your Dad does not respect you. It sounds he only values you to the extent you have utility in his life.
  • ER Baby brother should get loans as well, do not fold on this. And maybe go low contact with your parents.
  • Faunaholic Tell your parents that they will have to continue coughing up the money themselves as you still have student loans to pay. It doesn't
  • matter that they redirected the funds as it was their money and their choice but you can't give what you don't have. Do tell your brother that your parents asked and that you can't help due to
  • your own loans to pay - not that you are angry at your parents for the blatant favoritism but that you just don't have that kind of money and offer to help him sign up for his own loans.
  • Nopefuckthis NTA, and go low contact with them.
  • Ok-Listen-8519 NTA i will tell Jake directly what your parents asked and what happened to your college funds and you will not support him. Most likely the golden boy will
  • hate you for it but hey, why go bankrupt supporting someone who clearly got supported by your parents right from the start?. He too can go into debt for that
  • college degree. Since he's the golden boy he can care for your parents when they are aging. You are off the hook.
  • American3141592 "My dad keeps saying I am letting old anger ruin family relationships." Is a relationship based on deception really worth saving? Jake can take the same path you did to get his degree.
  • In my opinion, a parent asking someone who is actively paying off student debt to contribute to a siblings education is
  • Pops is loudly announcing who the favorite/golden child is. It's not Jake's fault, but Jake isn't your responsibility.
  • kacee1234 Nta. You took out loans, so can he
  • Young woman leaning back on a park bench with a distant, hurt expression.

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