Dad chews out 22-year-old daugher's boyfriend for failing to inform him they were going on a cruise together

JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor

Jul 17, 2026 10:00 AM EDT

How old do you have to be before you stop checking in with your parents?

Everyone has a different relationship with their parents, and we all grow up at different rates. What might be normal to you might not be normal to anyone else, and you sometimes learn that once you enter a relationship. You realize that your partner might have different kinds of relationships with their parents than the ones you're used to. Maybe they're also at a stage of life where they're renegotiating what their relationships with their parents are going to look like, and you can be a part of that journey. That's what was happening to the couple in this story, when an upcoming trip threw things into focus that were previously obscured. The girl in this story didn't have the best relationship with her father, and it was starting to become clear why. When you're just starting to date someone, you might not know a lot about where they came from. You might have a cursory idea of what their life looked like before you, but you don't know what truly makes them them. You start to learn this once you meet their parents. Meeting your partner's parents can set a lot of things into view that you didn't know before. The good and the bad. The man in this story was learning just exactly why his partner wanted to limit her relationship with her dad.

At a certain point, your parents lose control over your day to day life. Even if you still have a super strong relationship, you might not be stopping to consider them in all your decision making. You are free to do things on your own, if you would like. And that's a healthy part of becoming an adult. But the dad in this story wasn't quite ready to let go of his control over his daughter. He wanted to keep her a child a little bit longer. But she wasn't quite okay with that. Keep reading to see what happened.

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An older man in a cap talks to his daughter's boyfriend sternly — *An older man talks to his daughter's boyfriend sternly*
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Am I in the wrong for not asking for permission from my girlfriend's parents to take her on vacation?

So I'll first preface with this with the following: my girlfriend and I are both 22, and we just both graduated college this past spring. My girlfriend's parents have been separated for quite some time, and I interact with her mom far more than her biological dad. For reasons I won't get into, she doesn't really like her dad either, but does talk to him frequently, and wants to someday heal their relationship. We met in undergrad, and decided to celebrate our accomplishments with a vacation.

So a few months back, I got a slip in the mail from Royal Caribbean saying that because I gambled X amount of dollars on my last cruise that I took with my parents, I qualified for a special rate cruise for myself. Well initially, I just planned on discarding it, but my girlfriend was over and was like "Oh, a

cruise sounds fun." And she also mentioned how she never did anything like that growing up. Later that day, I was curious to see the true final price, and I crunched the numbers to see what a real cost for the trip would be. I talked to her mom, and told her the idea and she just loved it! She was happy to know how much I care about her daughter

(seriously, her mom is the best). Well, fast forward a couple weeks, and a few overtime shifts, and I booked a cruise. I planned on surprising my girlfriend with it the day of our graduation as sort of a fun way to celebrate our accomplishments. Obviously she was thrilled to the moon about it, and has been looking forward to it ever since.

Last night, my girlfriend and I went out to dinner with her dad, as this is really the only time she ever does anything with him. Obviously she was really excited about our upcoming trip, and told him all about it. Well, he sort of came unglued. He told me that he would have loved to have been asked for permission before I

"took his daughter halfway across the world." Let's be real, it's a Bahamas cruise, not a trip to Egypt. I was sort of caught off guard, and told him something along the lines of "I figured since we're both adults, I wouldn't need to ask for such a thing." Clearly he didn't appreciate it. He ended up deciding that he wasn't hungry

anymore, told the server to cancel his order, and walked out right then and there. Obviously now I think I have a pretty good feeling that I'm not in the wrong here, but curious, is this some sort of societal norm I should have known, or is he just being overly, and inappropriately protective?

*A man talks to his girlfriend's father on the porch*
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Commenters gave their opinions on this story.

WhereWeretheAdults And now you know why she doesn't like her dad. This is not protective - this is controlling behavior. You did nothing wrong neither of you. Dad is - throwing a tantrum because you called him out instead of schmoozing up to him.

ildhjerte What? Ehm.. NTA. Why in the world would he ever have a say in this?

DefinitelyNotAliens Yeah... NTA. You seem like you're in a culture where adults are adults and not property of parents until marriage. Normal adults book their own trips and just tell people travel plans so people know what country they're in.

He can kick rocks. He was informed like a normal person goes, "I'll be out of the country on these days."

MalibuBon NTA, especially since he isn't very involved with her life on a day to day basis. She's well past the age where she has to ask permission. Enjoy your cruise!

inturnaround NTA. This is presumably the kind of bs that led to her folks splitting. The irony is that this type of behavior would lead any reasonable person to want to share less with that person, not more.

You're not borrowing her. He doesn't own her. She is going with you of her own volition (because she's an adult with agency) to have a fun time in the Caribbean. What he did was unacceptable and you shouldn't play his game. Have fun on your trip!

Useful_Curse_5150 NTA, he probably has more problems than just not getting permission from his daughter's bf for a cruise. I wouldn't ask him if you can marry her either.

Accomplished Chart873 He's not over protective, he's controlling at minimum but definitely shows narcissistic traits. Your GF is wise to keep her distance and protect her heart. He only has HIS best interests in mind, not hers. Ignore him, he will be his own undoing eventually and that's somewhere you GF has to get on her own. Just be supportive

MossGobbo NTA - You're both adults. It would be one thing if you made conflicting plans with a big vacation for the family but since her parents don't live together it's asinine to assume that. Dad is being overbearing.

Hamsternoir My only issue as a father when my daughter (younger than op) and her boyfriend are going on holiday is what time they want dropping at the airport. I like my sleep.

I still do it. He sounds like a very immature individual who is still struggling to retain some form of control over a situation he has zero say in. This will only result in your gf being pushed away. NTA

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