New legal assistant realizes experienced coworker has been quietly setting them up to fail for months, all while looking like the most helpful person in the office: 'Nothing she does is overt enough to report'

Author image for Cata Holmes
Cata Holmes • Writer
Jul 25, 2026 9:45 AM EDT

The most dangerous coworkers are the ones who never look guilty

Starting a new career is challenging enough without wondering whether a more experienced coworker is quietly setting you up to fail. One legal assistant believes a veteran employee has perfected the art of giving just enough misleading advice to shift blame onto others while maintaining a helpful reputation. After several suspicious incidents, they turned to the internet for advice on protecting themselves and documenting future interactions.

Some workplace problems are obvious. A coworker misses deadlines, raises their voice, or openly refuses to help. Those situations are frustrating, but at least everyone can see what's happening. The really difficult people are the ones who seem friendly, helpful, and experienced while somehow leaving you with all the consequences. You start questioning your own memory because every interaction sounds completely reasonable on the surface.

The hardest part is that these situations rarely come with proof. It's usually a conversation no one else heard or advice that was technically vague enough to avoid responsibility later. By the time you realize something was wrong, the damage has already been done. Trying to explain the pattern to someone else often makes you sound overly suspicious instead of simply paying attention.

When you're new at a job, it's even easier to fall into that trap. You're still learning, so naturally you trust the person who's been there for years. I mean, why wouldn't you? Experience usually earns credibility. That's exactly why subtle manipulation can be so effective. People assume the veteran employee knows best, while the newcomer is expected to make mistakes.

Eventually, you reach a point where protecting yourself becomes just as important as doing your actual job. You start documenting conversations, double-checking instructions, and confirming everything in writing. It's exhausting, but sometimes it's the only way to make sure confusion doesn't somehow become your responsibility when things inevitably go wrong.

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  • A legal assistant works at a desk while reviewing case files and emails, reflecting the pressure of navigating office politics and workplace trust in a professional law firm.
    via Unsplash+ (via Vitaly Gariev)

    A legal assistant works at a desk while reviewing case files and emails, reflecting the pressure of navigating office politics and workplace trust in a professional law firm.

    Represented by models.

  • I work at a small law firm. There are 2 partners and 1 associate and 2 staffs including me. My coworker has over 20 years of experience and used to be the assistant to both partners before they opened their own firm, she now supports partner 1. I've only been in the legal field for about a year and I support the associate and partner 2.
    via PhilosophyOwn4784
  • Nothing she does is overt enough to report. It's always just plausible enough that if I complained, I'd sound paranoid.
    via PhilosophyOwn4784
  • Example #1. Partner 2 was on vacation. We were served with a hearing notice that seemed important, so I asked my coworker whether I should text the lawyer while she was away. She told me, "No, don't bother her."
    via PhilosophyOwn4784
  • Two days later partner 2 came back, and I got absolutely chewed out for not notifying her immediately.
    via PhilosophyOwn4784
  • Fast forward a few months. The coworker casually jokes in the office, "Yeah... if we get served, that's actually one of the few times you should text a lawyer on vacation."
    via PhilosophyOwn4784
  • I just sat there thinking... that's literally the situation I asked you about.
    via PhilosophyOwn4784
  • Example #2 happened today. I had a filing that absolutely had to be submitted by 4 p.m. at court.
    via PhilosophyOwn4784
  • While I was on my lunch break, our filing agent called saying there was an issue that needed my immediate attention. My coworker texted me on Teams knowing that I wasn't looking at Teams because I was on lunch. She knew exactly where I was. I was sitting in the pantry.
    via PhilosophyOwn4784
  • Instead of walking 20 seconds to tell me, she texted me, then hung up on the filing agent and went back to her desk. She didn't actually come tell me in person until about ten minutes later.
    via PhilosophyOwn4784
  • An organized law office with legal documents, case files, and scales of justice, illustrating the professional environment where subtle workplace conflicts can quietly affect daily operations.
    via Unsplash+ (via Planet Volumes)

    An organized law office with legal documents, case files, and scales of justice, illustrating the professional environment where subtle workplace conflicts can quietly affect daily operations.

    This image is for illustrative purposes only.

  • If I hadn't responded in time, the filing could have missed the court deadline, and guess whose name would've been attached to that mistake. Mine.
    via PhilosophyOwn4784
  • Then there's the day-to-day stuff.
    via PhilosophyOwn4784
  • Whenever I ask her for help with something, it'll be about 90% correct. Just enough that I trust it. Then I'll eventually discover small mistakes that I have to fix myself.
    via PhilosophyOwn4784
  • The frustrating part is that from the outside, she looks incredibly helpful. Twenty years of experience. Always smiling. Always willing to "help."
    via PhilosophyOwn4784
  • Has anyone else worked with someone like this?
    via PhilosophyOwn4784

  • Many Redditors stood up to the OP and defended her from the terrible attitude of the coworker. As most pointed out, the first example was kind of weird because she should have known what to do; the second one is more appropriate to mention to management and try to find a solution.

  • Hefty-Branch-2725 Yes. You have to get two steps ahead of her or leave the firm.
    via PhilosophyOwn4784
  • Surchin22 Why in the world would you not speak up im during example #1 while being chewed out?!
    via PhilosophyOwn4784
  • Image is a representation and may not depict the actual people or events described.
    via Unsplash+ (via Zest Tea)

    Two coworkers chat over coffee during a workplace break.

    Image is a representation and may not depict the actual people or events described.

  • anothereffinjoe Example 1 is kinda too old to address, but I would bring up Example 2 with your attorney immediately. Shes not being a team player by any means, and isn't just sabotaging you, but the firm and your attorney's license.
    via PhilosophyOwn4784
  • Past Atmosphere21 I do not like people like this. And you may not be reli_ous. And neither am I like that just more spiritual but I am going to pray for you. I do not like a wolf hidden in sheep's clothing.
    via PhilosophyOwn4784
  • Sea-Mastodon-1749 Snake. Yea. I've worked with plenty of snakes. And let me guarantee you that she's taking credit for your good work. Forwarding emails from you and removing you from the chain.
    via PhilosophyOwn4784
  • icesa I've worked with a lot of toxic people. You're at the "oh sh this person is toxic" stage. Next you need to be at “stay the f away from me" and definitely stop asking her for help. Involving the toxic people never ends well. Disengage and be two steps ahead as the other commenter said. Or find a new job.
    via PhilosophyOwn4784

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terrible coworkers veteran coworker law firm legal assistant
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