Engineer is forced into a management promotion she repeatedly said she didn't want, boss admits he did it on purpose to advance his own career: 'He joked that he ruined my day'

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Cata Holmes • Writer
Jul 31, 2026 7:15 AM EDT

Can you be forced into a promotion you never wanted?

One engineer thought she had been clear for years about wanting to stay on the technical career path, not move into management. Despite that, her boss promoted her into a supervisory role without asking, later admitting it was done to strengthen his own position. Now she's searching for a way to return to engineering without risking her future.

This got me on edge… There's something odd about people who don't feel like building a career is what they want in life. In this case, this woman was very happy with the position she was in, and explicitly said she was not looking for a promotion, nor a change in her current role. Apparently, this was not enough for her boss; he went out of his way and got her that promotion he felt she deserved.

But we are not talking about whether she deserved it or not… she just did not want to change her current job. And it should have been enough for her boss to let her live in peace. There's something so sad that people cannot believe someone would prefer a quieter life, rather than one where growing in your field should be your main goal.

I hope she can sit with this man and explain that although she has done it in the past, she's not willing to accept this new position and that she would prefer to stay where she's at. And the worst part of it all is that the boss thinks he's doing her a favour and helping her in something she clearly is not interested in. He even joked around and said he was aware he was ruining her day… I just cannot believe that attitude, and it really upsets me.

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  • Frustrated engineer taking a phone call while looking for advice after being pushed into an unwanted leadership role.
    via Unsplash+ (via Vitaly Gariev)

    Frustrated engineer taking a phone call while looking for advice after being pushed into an unwanted leadership role.

    Photo is for illustrative purposes only and is not an authentic image of the events described.

  • I am a senior design engineer with 20 years of experience. I have been with my current employer, a contract manufacturer, for 6 years. I have
    via cherriessinclair
  • been upfront the entire time that I want to stay on the IC path. I am happy to mentor junior engineers, but I am not interested in managing people.
    via cherriessinclair
  • Yesterday my manager pulled me and a colleague into a conference room and informed us that we were both promoted to a supervisor role. He specifically told me that he knew I did not
    via cherriessinclair
  • want this job and joked that he ruined my day by giving me a promotion. My role will immediately take on 6 direct reports, while my colleague will have 5. We will get roughly 3 months to settle into the role before we are given control of
    via cherriessinclair
  • reviews and hiring/firing responsibilities. We were given no say and were not asked to sign anything to accept the role. HR had already processed our promotions by the time we were informed.
    via cherriessinclair
  • I do not want this role. I am obviously applying elsewhere, but would like to keep my job for 6 more months if possible without ruining my prospects of staying on the IC path. I am currently in physical therapy and do not want to switch insurance midstream.
    via cherriessinclair
  • My manager admitted to my colleague that he promoted us to bolster his position so he can get his own promotion. My colleague was given a 10% raise, while I was only given 8%. My colleague is male, while I am female.
    via cherriessinclair
  • My colleague is not happy either, but is going along with the promotion because of the raise. I do not want the money or the title, I just want to solve problems and do the job I originally signed up for.
    via cherriessinclair
  • To add to the joy of my situation, HR is retaliatory and my skip up does not like women. I know this company is garbage, but its 10 minutes from my house and I enjoy the engineering work.
    via cherriessinclair
  • Senior engineer sitting at her desk while two managers explain an unexpected promotion she clearly doesn't want.
    via Unsplash+ (via Getty Images)

    Senior engineer sitting at her desk while two managers explain an unexpected promotion she clearly doesn't want.

    Image features models and is intended as a visual representation of the story.

  • I was glad to read the comment section and realized how empathic and supportive the readers were. Most of them agreed that she should find a new job and leave that company, especially after the raise disclosure. Others shared some experiences where they were involved in the same situation and how they sorted it out.

  • iginca I don't think it's worth having a discussion with them, since they obviously didn't deem it necessary to first discuss with you. Adding insult to injury is the lower pay raise.
    via cherriessinclair
  • Ok-Frosting6810 What advice? They don't care what you want and are actively up your life. Leave. They can't make you take a job. They're gonna be if you don't take it though. Not a lot of options here.
    via cherriessinclair
  • ourldyofnoassumption Honestly, you have to reframe your thinking. They can give you direct reports. They can ask you to manage them. They can't make you be good at it. Most managers (as you can see) s k. You can actually slightly sk and be a relatively good manager.
    via cherriessinclair
  • bassoonawhat I would be upfront. "Thank you for the opportunity. I like being an individual contributor. I haven't applied for this promotion and this doesn't fit with my career aspirations. I am happy to mentor junior engineers, but I am not interested in managing people. I'm just not interested in the promotion, but I'm glad that you thought of me."
    via cherriessinclair
  • Th3 Beard3dOn3 Sounds like all of this is by design. They want one manager so they promote both of you. They give you less money (you didn't mention if there was a pay discrepancy before the raise) and more direct commands and they know you don't want the job. They don't want to fire you. They want you to quit. Line up another job and get out cause it's not gonna get better.
    via cherriessinclair
  • kruzrdude Move you up and move you out
    via cherriessinclair
  • Overwhelmed employee listening as supervisors discuss new management responsibilities she never agreed to accept.
    via Unsplash+ (via Getty Images)

    Overwhelmed employee listening as supervisors discuss new management responsibilities she never agreed to accept.

    This is a staged workplace image using models and does not depict the actual individuals involved.

  • GATaxGal If they are giving someone who doesn't want to manage 5 direct reports, you are being set up to fail and they don't care about the people reporting to you either. That's just dumb. If you had savings, I'd email your boss, his boss, and HR and be like thanks no thanks. But be prepared to be PIPed or let go on the spot. Otherwise, s k it up and do the best you can while looking for another joh
    via cherriessinclair
  • Lemmon_Scented You can't really refuse the promotion. The most likely outcome for trying would be to unofficially get all the new responsibilities without the title or pay bump. Also, you'd look like you aren't a team player and/or committed to the company's mission.
    via cherriessinclair
  • Last-Self-5760 I would tell hr that you will not accept the position for less than a 25% pay increase to go along with the increased duties. When they push back give the name of someone who wants it that you trust.
    via cherriessinclair
  • Guilty-Goose3351 That's infuriating. Seems like a lot of extra work for not a lot of extra pay. Good luck finding a new place where they appreciate you more.
    via cherriessinclair

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