This morning, Time released its annual list of the 100 most influential people.
As usual, the list is a real mixed bag of leaders, artists and cultural titans. And, as usual, those chosen receive write ups by other leaders, artists and titans. Sometimes it's touching and sometimes it's bonkers.
Let's take a look!
Mindy Kaling wrote about Reese Witherspoon because they're besties
"But the reason Reese is on this list is that she is no longer just a talented and famous actress. She is an icon. Yes, she is beautiful, and I would buy any lipstick or bottled water she is selling. Hell, I'd buy cigarettes if her picture were on the pack. But that's not it (even though I think she could make a lot of money doing that).
Reese is an artist, but she is also a hustler, a quality I recognized in her the first time I met her. She's impatient that Hollywood won't generate the kind of quality roles she wants to play, so she creates quality roles by creating quality movies. That resourcefulness is what makes her someone I not only admire, but someone who inspires me. And that is influence."
Jack Nicholson wrote about Lorne Michaels
"Hard to think of anyone more skilled at discovering extraordinary comedic performers, who have gone on to become household names in their own right. It's no wonder SNL's takes on current events have made headlines for 40 years.
But as Lorne's friend, I know that he is graciously suspect of admiration, and he understands that a discussion or dissection of humor is doomed to be dull. His credo: be funny and get on with it."
Who knew they were friends?
Elon Musk said nice things about Kanye West
It seems so natural, yet unexpected, to have the cool uncle of car manufacturing and private space exploration take on pop culture's red headed step child.
"The dude doesn't believe in false modesty, and he shouldn't. Kanye's belief in himself and his incredible tenacity—he performed his first single with his jaw wired shut—got him to where he is today. And he fought for his place in the cultural pantheon with a purpose.
Kanye does think. Constantly. About everything. And he wants everybody else to do the same: to engage, question, push boundaries."
What a guy, that Elon.
Martha Stewart wrote about Kim Kardashian for some reason
One of the weirdest pairings is also one of the worst. After listing all her social media follower analytics, Stewart basically reiterates the obvious — that KK's famous.
"Beautiful in an exotic, totally exaggerated way, Kim exudes energy, sexuality, drama, determination, impetuousness and happiness. But she and her famous, entrepreneurial siblings—shepherded by a savvy, tireless matriarch—have also expanded the very definition of family.
Kim comes across as an enviable big sister in a clan where everyone seems to love one another. Are they indeed today's Brady Bunch? Where does Kim go from here? There seem to be very few barriers to further explosive success."
Wil Wheaton wrote about Anita Sarkeesian
It must have been difficult for Time to pick someone to write about one of #GamerGate's main targets, but Wheaton seemed up to the task. He praised Sarkeesian's wherewithal and courage as well as anyone could.
Anita is just the latest woman writer to prove the law coined by journalist Helen Lewis: that the sexist comments on any article about feminism justify feminism. In the face of hysterical and childish abuse, Anita has refused to back down.
A lesser person may throw up her hands and unplug her game console, but Anita is determined to ensure that video games are inclusive and representative of everyone who plays them. As her detractors grow increasingly unhinged, we have proof that her efforts are working.
Tilda Swinton wrote about Amy Schumer because Hooray!
Isn't Tilda Swinton just the coolest?
That's a rhetorical question.
"She's the one most likely to be on your side when the bullies circle in. That's her face, there, that one pushing in to save you, elbowing them out of the way. She's the one who misses nothing: who buys no bullsh-t, fitted with a radar as keen as a rabbiting spaniel.
Amy's got your back. She's in your corner. She's an honesty bomb. And she's coming for you."
Amy Poehler wrote about Chris Pratt
After seven years working with the guy, who better than Poehler to hash out why Pratt deserves the place he has in our hearts?
"America has decided he is its next big movie star, and I understand why. It's not because of his broad shoulders and humble roots. It's because he has that something special. That magic thing that lets you know he is used to working hard and isn't interested in wasting your time. He's a facile and generous actor who is very smart but never concerned about proving that to you. He is a real man in a sea of ciphers, a good father and friend, and one naturally funny dude."
Chris Rock wrote about Kevin Hart (Jay Z was only involved in the picture)
Rock totally nails what makes Hart such a talent, even without mentioning the fact that he talks to Jerry Seinfeld on a regular basis. Which he does, unfortunately. Seinfeld is actually given two mentions in the whole right up. What's the deal with that?
"He made Madison Square Garden feel like a small comedy club. When he wanted them to, he had the audience screaming. And when he wanted them to pay attention, they were quieter than a football player at a murder trial.
After he makes you laugh for an hour, you feel like you're his friend—you feel his joy and his pain. If he has asthma, you have asthma. That's because Kevin's vulnerable. When he's talking about his kids, his kids know more than him. He's not afraid to be "father knows less." That makes him a new kind of cool. Not a keep-a-distance-from-the-audience kind of cool, but a lovable, show-your-warts kind of cool."
Mariska Hargitay wrote about Taylor Swift because the pop star named a cat after Hargitay's Law and Order character
It's pretty clear from Hargaitay's write up that she doesn't know Taylor Swift all that well, but she gives a real sweet homage anyhow.
"Taylor Swift: megawatt talent, an extraordinary spirit, an impossibly charming blend of impishness, poise and radiance to spare. All of it combines to rock me back on my heels every time I see her.
Along with her staggering list of accomplishments, perhaps the most exciting thing about Taylor is that she's just getting started with what she plans to mine from her fierce, curious, boundlessly talented and beautiful heart."
It's also worth seeing the time both of Taylor's cat's namesakes came together for Instagram:
And then Taylor Swift wrote about Ina Garten. Sure.
It's a little unclear why Ina Garten, the Barefoot Contessa herself, is included in the iconic list. She is a scant four slots away from Pope Francis.
It's also a little unclear why Swift wrote about Garten. She was on the cooking show once. So that's something.
"As soon as I started watching Ina's show, I realized why so many people adore her. Her goal is to make things easier for us. Fans love her warmth and generosity. She shows us how to create memories that we'll treasure for years to come. For that, we will always cherish the merry and magnificent Ina Garten."
At this point, it's pertinent to mention the Twitter account @DrunkInaGarten.
I'm just glad to be so honored and ADMIRED. *Sips wine.*— Drunk Ina Garten (@DrunkInaGarten) April 16, 2015
MERRY and MAGNIFICENT, don't you peasants forget it.— Drunk Ina Garten (@DrunkInaGarten) April 16, 2015
I'm speechless. It's just such an HONOR for you to know me. Thank you.— Drunk Ina Garten (@DrunkInaGarten) April 16, 2015