Woman realizes her ‘best friend’ is using her as an emotional dump but never shares anything important about her life: ‘Worse, she treats her actual life like a classified secret. Whenever I have good news or interviews, I share them openly’

Author image for Olivia Arocena
Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Sep 20, 2026 2:30 PM EDT

If we're giving therapy sessions, we should start charging for them

We should keep this in mind: not everyone in our lives is our friend. With some people, we share far more time than we should, but once we see that, we can't unsee it, and we have to act.

It hurts; it's objectively horrible, but some people will use anyone who'll listen to dump their emotions on, and they will not feel the need to reciprocate. They are out there, and we should stay away from them. Realizing someone we thought was our best friend is like this can be painful, but at the same time, it's a great opportunity to remove this energy from our lives.

We might be used to always being the one who makes plans and keeps the friendships alive, and that can be good in some relationships where the other person is a little bit less proactive but still loves us.

But there are other relationships where we should step aside and see for ourselves that the other person doesn't want us there if it's not for an unpaid therapy session.

I know this can sound controversial, but when things reach this point, I don't recommend talking. What is there to talk about when you've already discovered your friend is a user? You can't explain basic empathy or friendship to a fully grown adult.

If they didn't have time to learn that as kids, do we really think they will learn it now because we tell them to?

There are plenty of friends in the sea, or whatever. Let's invest time in those who know empathy from the get-go, and free ourselves from being a free psychologist or an unpaid kindergarten teacher!

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  • Cheezburger Image 10664828416
    via Christina @ wocintechchat.com M

    Free therapy!

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  • ​My only best friend friend uses me as an emotional dumping ground but treats her real life like a secret.

    I feel completely drained by my only friend and I'm ready to quietly walk away, but I need an honest reality check.
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  • Our dynamic has become a one-way street. She constantly blows up my phone with voice notes whining about the smallest daily tasks-like being exhausted after walking for two minutes or
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  • complaining her legs hurt from driving an automatic car for less than an hour. We also have completely mismatched mindsets: I'm working hard toward big career opportunities and real growth, while she has
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  • zero drive and collapses. under basic daily routines. Worse, she treats her actual life like a classified secret. Whenever I have good news or interviews, I share them openly. In
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  • contrast, she went through an entire interview process, landed an internship, and only told me after it was finalized so she wouldn't "jinx it." She did the same thing with her sister's engagement,
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  • hiding it until after the ceremony was already over. She loves to tease news with "Ooooh I have something to tell you, but not now," yet whenever I invite her to hang out, she
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  • Cheezburger Image 10664828672
    via Priscilla Du Preez

    Is friendship supposed to be like this?

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  • hits me with an "aaaa unfortunately..." and never once reschedules. The breaking point was seeing a giveaway requiring you to tag your best friend, and I ended up tagging my own burner
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  • account because I realized I don't actually have a real friend in my corner. Right now, she has had me on "Seen" for days after another round of teasing news and disappearing. I don't have the energy for a
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  • dramatic fight. Am I wrong. for just letting the silence sit and doing a slow fade?
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  • Strict_Anybody_6639 Seems one sided, find new friends that actually have things in common. Some people enjoy silent competition
    via Strict_Anybody_6639
  • Longjumping_Algae709 I had a friend like this who wanted to get advice but was always selective about what she told me. Drove me bonkers as I never felt like I was living in real time with her.
    via Longjumping_Algae709
  • No_Plankton_114 I wouldn't have a " friend like that. She sounds like an ahle
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  • Cheezburger Image 10664828928
    via Raspopova Marina

    How much support should you give without receiving any?

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