IT employee takes management role for better pay and career growth, realizes he hates managing people and wants his old position back: ‘Dealing with egos, pointless arguments’

Author image for Cata Holmes
Cata Holmes • Writer
Sep 19, 2026 5:15 PM EDT

Nobody said that becoming a manager was going to be all fun and giggles…

Proving yourself at work and actually being a good employee can lead to a promotion. In our heads, being promoted is the end goal in the corporate world: you finally reach the position where you get to manage people, maybe your own office, and then, and there, you can relax. Now, many of the managers that I've met love their job and dealing with people. If you think about it, they have to be on top of their game all day just to keep things going and on track. However, there're a few cases in which becoming a boss doesn't really line up with some people's preferences.

This IT employee was offered a management position, and he took it with no hesitation. He used to be a Solutions Architect and actually improved the workflow at the company a lot by fixing some mistakes, so he became very valuable to the team. On paper, the position looked great: better salary and a huge opportunity to grow his career. But the downside is that he realized that he hates the part that comes with having people in charge. And yes, this may be the hardest, but for others it is the most rewarding. 

The employee only has to manage two people, but they have "big egos," so every day there's a different conflict that needs to be addressed, and he finds this to be totally tiring. They have a lot of arguments with different developers and other coworkers, so he's always having to intervene and fix these problems in order to proceed with projects. Secretly, he confesses that if he were offered his old position back, he'd take it, no doubt. But we know that going backwards in your career is not possible and not well seen.

In the comments section, most readers seemed to understand his frustration and shared some personal stories that made him feel better. He hopes that in a year, he can learn to enjoy the role and to cope with it. But for the time being, he's doing his best.

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  • 01
    IT manager regretting his move into management after realizing he misses working as a Solutions Architect.
    via Unsplash+ (via Russel Barrientos)

    IT manager regretting his move into management after realizing he misses working as a Solutions Architect.

    Model portrayal.

  • 02

    I thought I wanted to become a manager but honestly I hate it

    I thought I wanted to become a manager but honestly I hate it
    via CarefulOpening7651
  • 03
    I don't even really know why I'm writing this, I guess I just need to get it out.
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  • 04
    I'm an IT Solution Architect by background. And honestly, that's what I like doing.
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  • 05
    I like designing solutions, thinking about how different systems are gonna work together, figuring out the architecture, overseeing the technical side of things... and then seeing everything slowly come together like Lego pieces and actually work. That is satisfying.
    via CarefulOpening7651
  • 06
    But recently I've been put on more of a management track and I'm starting to realize that... I don't think I actually want this.
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  • 07
    On paper, it was a great opportunity (More responsibilities, better salary, all that stuff).
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  • 08
    And yeah, the salary increase is nice. I'm not gonna pretend otherwise.
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  • 09
    But the actual job? I'm bored.
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  • 10
    What really gets me is the people management part. I just don't care about it that much. Dealing with egos, pointless arguments, people getting ped at each other, having to step in because someone has a problem with a developer or a project manager...
    via CarefulOpening7651
  • 11
    IT professionals working on technical solutions before into a management role focused more on managing people.
    via Unsplash+ (via Getty Images)

    IT professionals working on technical solutions before into a management role focused more on managing people.

    Representative only.

  • 12
    I have two people in my team who have pretty big ego problems and keep getting into conflicts with developers and project managers. So obviously, as the person above them, I'm supposed to deal with it.
    via CarefulOpening7651
  • 13
    And every time something like that happens I'm just thinking: "oh no please, I really don't want to deal with this."
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  • 14
    Which is kind of funny because | used to think becoming a manager was the natural next step in my career.
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  • 15
    I think I just bought into that whole idea that career progression means becoming a manager.
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  • 16
    But if someone came to me tomorrow and said: "Hey, you can go back to your old Solution Architect role, same company, same responsibilities, but you keep your current salary"...
    via CarefulOpening7651
  • 17
    I'd take it immediately. No hesitation.
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  • 18
    And that's probably what made me realize something.
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  • 19
    It's not really the responsibility that bothers me. I actually like having responsibility. I like being the guy who understands how everything fits together and making sure the technical solution makes sense.
    via CarefulOpening7651
  • 20
    I just don't think I want to spend my time managing people.
    via CarefulOpening7651
  • 21
    I'm probably gonna bring this up during my next performance review. Not in a "I quit management" dramatic way, but just being honest that I'm not sure I want to keep going down that path.
    via CarefulOpening7651
  • 22
    Maybe I'm just tired of it right now. Maybe I'll feel differently in a year.
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  • 23
    Or maybe I just discovered that management really isn't for me.
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  • 24
    IT manager helping coworkers with a project.
    via Unsplash+ (via Getty Images)

    IT manager helping coworkers with a project.

    Image depicted solely for explanatory purposes.

  • 25
    thesoupyjuror The salary bump keeping you in a role you don't care about is how they trap you. Seen it happen to a few architects already. Bringing it up at your review is the right move. Just frame it as wanting to stay technical, not that you're failing at management.
    via CarefulOpening7651
  • 26
    CEDCheese I'm with you, OP. I'm an engineer at a chemical plant, and I was leading a team of 6 people, but I was still involved in the technical aspects of the projects, and I was enjoying the work. Some drama but nothing we were unable to deal with.
    via CarefulOpening7651
  • 27
    purplelilac701 I understand this. Babysitting people is a whole nother ballgame. I went "back" to being an individual contributor due to a reorg and it feels like my wellness has returned.
    via CarefulOpening7651
  • 28
    Funkpuppet It's one of the reasons I'm super transparent with my reports about what my job entails - most of them recoil in horror at stepping away from being hands-on coders once they see my Outlook calendar :D
    via CarefulOpening7651
  • 29
    TockExcellent9838 I am a manager that doesn't personally care to manage but I do it because work is no more than a utility in my eyes. I need to eat and pay bills so I am going to put myself in the position to best accomplish these needs and management positions me better in terms of pay and more stable opportunities.
    via CarefulOpening7651
  • 30
    Traditional Gas 1770 Yep. It's incredibly rare that a technical guru "wants" to manage people. It's a whole nother ball game. But companies keep pushing people into managers anyways
    via CarefulOpening7651
  • 31
    Disastrous Thoughts Well no sh you would take it if you kept your current salary. While the role title is manager, you're supposed to be a leader people. leading
    via CarefulOpening7651

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