‘I'm sad, and disappointed, and angry. I feel dumb to have been impulsive and made these invitations’: Woman invites old friends she hasn’t seen in a while to her private wedding ceremony

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Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Oct 5, 2026 2:30 PM EDT

Writing that you're not looking to be the centre of attention in the middle of a paragraph complaining about not being the centre of attention is wild

It's ok; we all want to be the centre of attention sometimes. As long as we're open about how petty and childish it is, it's freeing, and it might even be funny. If we try to hide it or claim some moral high ground, it becomes twisted.

It's funny that this story is even about being the centre of negative attention. OP thinks that people aren't calling her because they are deliberately rejecting her; the reason is probably much bleaker: they don't think about her at all.

I think all that hurt and anger might be poorly directed at them. I think what's really happening is that she is mad at herself for choosing to call those friends and not others who are really present in her life. Or maybe sad because she doesn't really have those. That's completely valid and also normal; once we grow into adulthood, we sometimes drift apart from people who used to be very important in our lives.

Weddings are an important part of some people's lives, and they bring a lot of feelings and considerations to the surface. I would suggest stopping for a moment, re-evaluating her invitations, and choosing the people she feels comfortable and cherished with.

After all, it's a night to celebrate her engagement and her and her future husband's life. It's never too late to uninvite people if they are going to make you feel bad. It's your ceremony and an event to remember!

I wouldn't think about it twice; even if it's sketchy, even if people complain. Gossip will eventually subside, and the memories of your great wedding will remain! Go for it, uninvitation queen! Uninvite everyone and make a new, exciting list!

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  • The saddest bride

    ESTO
    via nicola dowie

    It hurts not to be the center of attention 

    Representative only

  • I regret inviting my friends

    My fiancé and I are having. a small wedding abroad next year, with only immediate family and a handful of friends. Rather than invite my adult-made friends (who I see more often and am arguably
    via HereComesTheRatMan
  • closer with) I decided to invite three childhood friends. Friend #1 "J" lives locally, and we see each other maybe every other month. Friends #2 "L" and #3 "A" live together in another city. Fiancé and I
    via HereComesTheRatMan
  • visited them about a year and a half ago but we have otherwise not seen each. other in a few years. I thought it would be a great opportunity to get together and see one another, and it felt like the
    via HereComesTheRatMan
  • thing I was supposed to do. I admit I didn't think very hard about it before sending them an invite, and part of me expected them to say no due to the international nature of it.
    via HereComesTheRatMan
  • J (they/them) has told me (unprompted) that they don't want to hear about the wedding. I was purposefully not going to talk about it much with them because they're going through a lot, but it still hurt my feelings to
    via HereComesTheRatMan
  • hear (especially when it was pretty much out of the blue and not in response to anything I had said). J mentioned to me yesterday that L was in town very recently but she did not reach out to me.
    via HereComesTheRatMan
  • When it became clear that I was unhappy to hear it, J tried to backpedal and say that L was only in town for a very short time and was really busy with family stuff, but in my mind if she had time to text J she
    via HereComesTheRatMan
  • Cheezburger Image 10668664320
    via Masoud Nikookalam

    Their lives should revolve around ME

    Picture does not depict real parties

  • could have texted me too, even if it was just a "hey, I'm in town but overwhelmed with family obligations, but I miss you and I'm so excited for the wedding." I know I'm annoyed on principle, which may not be a good
    via HereComesTheRatMan
  • reason, but I can't help it. L apparently also told J that she doesn't really know why she's invited to the wedding, but is excited to go in this international trip. None of these three people have expressed
    via HereComesTheRatMan
  • any excitement or interest in the wedding. When I told them I was engaged via text they congratulated me, but beyond that it's like they don't care. I'm not looking to be the center of attention all the time, but when I know a friend has
    via HereComesTheRatMan
  • gotten engaged I call to congratulate them, ask about the engagement, and I follow up to check in and see how things are. I won't lie- not getting that from them has been disappointing.
    via HereComesTheRatMan
  • The max capacity of our venue is pretty small, so I can't really invite any more friends. I don't want to uninvite these three, because I know that would be burning the bridge, but I wish there was a nice way to say "if you don't care
    via HereComesTheRatMan
  • about the wedding you are under no obligation to come." I don't really know what I'm looking for here. Maybe just to vent. I'm sad, and disappointed, and angry. I feel dumb to have been
    via HereComesTheRatMan
  • impulsive and made these invitations, when I think if I had slowed down and really considered it I would have decided to invite two adult-made friends who have been really enthusiastic. I know the wedding day will still be
    via HereComesTheRatMan
  • amazing, and I'm trying not to stew over this whole thing, but it's definitely impacting how much I'm enjoying the planning process.
    via HereComesTheRatMan
  • SassyTeacupPrincess These people don't sound like actual friends. You wouldn't be burning a bridge if there is no bridge to begin with.
    via SassyTeacupPrincess
  • RanaEire Come up a with a proper excuse, if you want to go with your actual friends.. Even if it is to say that you had to reduce numbers... But do it with plenty of time.
    via RanaEire
  • Wander_Kitty If they haven't made travel arrangements, relieve them of their invitations (which they don't seem likely to keep anyway).
    via Wanfer_Kitty

  • Uninvitation queen

    Cheezburger Image 10668664576
    via James

    Rethinking the wedding

    Actor performance of story events

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