Wife refuses to cancel the anniversary getaway she planned for weeks after her husband's sister announces a last-minute visit: ‘He said I was being selfish’

Author image for Cata Holmes
Cata Holmes • Writer
Oct 6, 2026 9:45 AM EDT

Should a family visit really come before plans you made with your spouse weeks ago?

When it comes to marriage, there're multiple problems that can arise. One of them comes with the family of each one of them: some might have a closer relationship, while others can feel more distant. Needless to say, there's always conflict over how much they prioritize their own family members. In this story, a wife planned a two-night anniversary getaway, but her husband wants to cancel because his sister said she was coming to visit.

I'm not going to be the one saying who's right and who's wrong. I'll like to discuss the role of family in a couple.

In my personal case, I have a wonderful relationship with my in-laws. I text with them frequently and like to have a close relationship with them; I know it's important for me and for my boyfriend. But one of my best friends can't stand her in-laws. In her case, they are very demanding and needy, and she would not even consider canceling a gateway for them. I think I would.

It's a very personal topic and has a lot to do with everyone's upbringing. Because being in a relationship is not always only about the couple: everyone comes with their own baggage, and the spouse has to be more understanding about each unique situation. 

That being said, cancelling an already organized and paid weekend trip because the sister-in-law suddenly decides to come visiting, is a whole different story. There are other things that are involved and, of course, need to be considered as well in this whole situation. The husband is the one who has to face the strangest decision, because now he has to choose between his sister and his wife… and that's not an easy choice.

If you ask me, I'm not sure what I would do. Of course I'd love to see my sister, but at the same time, I already have everything planned for that weekend, and I wouldn't want to cancel it. Let's just say I'm glad I'm not the one who has to make that call.

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  • Frustrated wife arguing with her husband after he asks her to cancel their planned anniversary trip.
    via Unsplash+ (via Vitaly Gariev)

    Frustrated wife arguing with her husband after he asks her to cancel their planned anniversary trip.

    Not actual story subjects.

  • AITA for refusing to change our anniversary plans because my husband's sister wants to visit?
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  • My husband and I have been married for 6 years, and every year we make an effort to spend our anniversary together without any family interruptions. We don't usually do anything extravagant, just dinner and sometimes a short
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  • weekend trip. This year, I booked a nice hotel for two nights and made dinner reservations at a restaurant my husband has wanted to try for a long time. I planned everything a few weeks in advance and was really looking
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  • forward to it. A few days ago, my husband's sister called and told him she would be visiting our city on the exact weekend of our anniversary. She lives several hours away and apparently had already made travel
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  • arrangements. My husband immediately suggested that we cancel our hotel booking and invite her to stay with us instead. I reminded him that we had already made plans and that we could see his sister another
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  • weekend. He said I was being selfish because his sister rarely visits and he didn't want to disappoint her. I suggested that we could take her out for lunch before our trip or meet her after we returned. He got upset and
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  • said I was making him choose between his wife and his family. I told him that wasn't fair because | had no problem with his sister visiting, but I didn't think our anniversary plans should be canceled at the last minute. Now
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  • he's barely speaking to me and says I'm putting a romantic weekend ahead of his family. I honestly feel like our anniversary deserves some priority, especially since we rarely get uninterrupted
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  • time together. I don't want to create tension between him and his sister, but I also don't want to give up something we've been looking forward to for weeks.
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  • Married couple sits apart on a couch amid tension over whether to cancel their anniversary getaway.
    via Unsplash+ (via Vitaly Gariev)

    Married couple sits apart on a couch amid tension over whether to cancel their anniversary getaway.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • RM992 NTA - I would say to him that it's manipulative of him to say that you're making him choose between a romantic weekend and his family. Instead it feels like he is showing you where his priorities are; he is picking his family over your relationship.
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  • Some-Chef5376 What the h l is wrong with your husband. It's your anniversary weekend and he is so wrong in this situation, that I am angry for you. You are the family and needs to pull his head out of his a
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  • FarPermission8061 stopped reading at "making him choose between wife and family," cause a husband should ALWAYS choose his wife over everything.
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  • Walmar202 When the sister found out they had other plans, she should cancel her plans. This has now put a serious wedge between the husband and OP.
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  • Training Traffic9128 Cancel the plans...he already chose his sister!! Your husband is an AH!! Call a friend, go stay with them for the sister's visit...and start right now, by giving the husband the REAL silent treatment....dont cook for him...dont wash his clothes, no s...and not a single word to him until you leave for your friend visit!!
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  • Secure_Highway_6917 NTA you are his family! He is choosing his sister over his wife and that is not OK. He has already ruined your anniversary trip. I would cancel it and also not allow any visitors at your house that weekend or better yet.
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  • Husband and wife are having a tense conversation.
    via Unsplash+ (via Vitaly Gariev)

    Husband and wife are having a tense conversation.

    Models pictured are not representative.

  • AnxiousPlankton222 "He got upset because he said I was making him choose between his wife and his family..." OP, he already chose. By trying to manipulate, guilt, and bu y you into changing plans to fit around his sister, he has already chosen her.
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  • Cheesie_Equestrian What manipulative childish behavior. He is taking you for granted and not showing you any respect. Ask if he is looking for an exit plan in order to not have to celebrate a 7th anniversary with you?
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  • Icy_Illustrator_4229 NTA, I hate it when people say "you are making me choose between my wife (or husband) over my family". Like excuse me, is your wife not "family"!!!??
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anniversary wife husband sister in law getaways
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