Mother-in-law demands family celebrate Christmas morning at her house so her 14-year-old son gets presents from Santa, DIL insists: ‘He's too old to believe in Santa’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Nov 2, 2026 8:00 PM EST

It's way too soon to start talking about Christmas, but some families simply cannot wait to stir up the good ol' holiday drama.

November has only started, we still have Thanksgiving to go, and yet some families are already discussing Christmas plans and, unsurprisingly, already fighting about it. To be fair, it truly is impossible not to fight about the where, when, and who's of the holidays, since each person in the family wants their version of a perfect holiday, and they rarely align with the expectations of other people around them. Eventually, someone will have to make a sacrifice, otherwise, the holiday season will not be as festive as everyone wants it to be.

When it comes to the family below, it should be pretty clear who needs to be the one who makes the sacrifice, but apparently, the debate is still in progress. Daughter-in-law wants to celebrate Christmas morning at home with her husband and baby, and enjoy a quiet time of present exchanges, while also introducing her son to the idea of Santa. Mother-in-law, however, wants everyone to open the presents at her house, because she wants her 14-year-old son to also get excited about Santa coming to their house and giving them all gifts.

Now, I know what you're thinking: isn't a 14-year-old teenager a little old to still believe in Santa? And the answer is absolutely. That is exactly what the daughter-in-law told her MIL. There is a vast difference between a baby getting presents from a fictional character and a high-schooler doing the same. Unfortunately, MIL disagrees, which is dragging the family into a whole, festive dispute before December has even started…

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    Family celebrating Christmas.
    via Curated Lifestyle

    Family celebrating Christmas.

    Scene shown is a visual representation.

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    AITA for telling MIL that her son is too old to believe in Santa and probably doesn’t?

    This Christmas will be our first Christmas with our son, who is the first grandchild on both sides.
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    Yesterday I was talking to my MIL about the holidays and said that we would be doing Christmas morning at our house now that we have a child so we
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    could have family time to open presents from Santa together, but we would go to their house for dinner like we do every year (we have done
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    morning with my parents and Christmas afternoon/evening with my in-laws for the past 8 years). She was surprised by this and said she wanted to get
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    him gifts from Santa too. I told her that was sweet but husband and I decided that Santa will only be coming to our house, with the reasoning that it
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    could be confusing for other kids who have Santa just bring gifts to one home and don't visit their grandparents'
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    I said that we'd like to set this boundary now so we don't have to make changes down the road, but if they want to watch him open Santa gifts that our
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    door is open to anyone who wants to come over and spend Christmas morning with us.
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    I told her I could order all of us matching pjs and cook a big breakfast if they decide to come spend Christmas morning with us, but the gifts she
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    gets him need to be from grandma and grandpa ONLY. This really upset her and she told me that it isn't fair to her youngest son, and that he would be
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    confused why Santa only left presents for him and not my baby. Tf??? I reiterated that she could tell him that Santa brings gifts to the homes the
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    kids live in, and that he visited our house for our son, and his house for him.
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    MIL flipped out and once again said that I was being unfair to her son. I knew she was grasping at straws using her son as an excuse because she's
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    controlling and I said "your son is 14. He's in high school and is too old to believe in Santa, and he honestly probably doesn't.
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    My son is a BABY and Santa is for little kids, not kids that are too old to order off a kids menu." She said I was being a b and she was going to get
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    him Santa presents anyway. I personally think this is so ridiculous and she just wants to control the family, as always.
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    Usually I just let these things go but since I had my son I do want to be able to set and enforce boundaries.
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    Santa reading a Christmas list.
    via Curated Lifestyle

    Santa reading a Christmas list.

    Representative only.

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    I don't think what I said was wrong but, even though my husband agrees with me.
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    he said I was the AH for telling her that "her baby" doesn't believe in Santa.
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    I feel dumb for making this the hill I de on, but even my husband says she needs to stop trying to control everything, especially now that we have
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    our own family. AITA? Ps husband said his parents never told him that Santa isn't real and even the adult kids get Santa gifts so his youngest brother
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    is probably milking the Santa thing. His parents have never gotten me a Christmas gift in 8 years and none of the kids have ever questioned why I or
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    their other in-laws never have gifts to open so I doubt it'll start with the baby *edit for context - didn't think it was necessary to include but
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    after reading some comments it might be. We decided Santa doesn't bring gifts to grandparents' house for multiple reasons: the first is that not
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    everyone has the same financial means, so not everyone gets multiple gifts from Santa. Parents give the nice gifts, Santa brings the practical gifts
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    that elves would make in the workshop. Second reason, which may provide context as to why this is the hill I'm willing to de on my parents - - may get
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    him a toy truck or stuffie where my husband's parents go ALL OUT - I've seen trampolines, golf carts, hoverboards, a puppy, stuff like that, in the
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    past. For the same as the first reason, that's going to be confusing to a kid as he gets older.
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    Why does Santa bring really big presents to one grandparent home and not the other? Not to mention we can't match their energy with those gifts
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    either! They should label those gifts from them and not throw off the Christmas magic
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  • I try to bring up Christmas as late in the year as possible, because I know it is going to lead to a lengthy discussion. Even though my husband and I try to be as fair as possible to each side of our family, we always find ourselves having to insult one side by celebrating the holiday with the other. We even tried celebrating Christmas with both families combined one year, but that turned out to be a disaster after both my mom and his mom baked a turkey. Safe to say, we will not be trying that again.

    This year, we are expecting to celebrate the holiday with a new addition to the family, which means that the pressure is going to be at a new high. So we decided to let the baby decide, well, once the little guy is born. We have a feeling he will not be excited to travel, so there's a big chance it's just going to be us this Christmas, and we're very excited about that idea. If any of our parents have an issue with that, well, they can take it up with their approximately 4-week-old grandson and let us know what has been decided afterwards.

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christmas daughter in law presents kids christmas morning mother in law santa family santa claus holidays children
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