New Texts From Mittens The Kitten That Will Make You LOL

Author image for taloringer
taloringer
Mar 4, 2018 12:00 PM EST

Mittens the kitten texts non-stop with owner and we can't get enough. Mitten's loves to be a little drama queen, check out this thread of text messages that gives readers a true inside look at the relationship between cat and owner. Take a look at what kind of shenanigans little Mittens been up to. 

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  • 01
    Text - Furizon 11:00 AM Messages Mittens Someone thieved my bowl and left a shoddy replacement! Mittens, I replaced your bowl. It was old. Maybe I like old bowls! It had a crack in it. Maybe I like the crack Did you notice that your new bowl is a little bigger than your old one? It was about time you got rid of that cracky old bowl. OText from Mittens
    via textsfrommittens
  • 02
    Text - . Furizon 2:01 PM Messages Mittens You left me for dead! What are you tal king about, Mittens? I was trapped in the linen closet! The door was open, Mittens. You left, allowing me to perish among the fitted sheets! If the door was closed, how did you get out? Mittens? You left me for dead! OTEXT from Mittens
    via textsfrommittens
  • 03
    Text - Furizon 9:34am Messages Mittens Mittens, the lemon that was on the counter is missing. Any insight? Yes. You need to keep better track of your citrus fruit. Mittens, did you swat it off the counter? I know my rights! I'd like to speak to my attorney! You don't have an attorney.Just tell me where the lemon is. Well, you don't have to get sour about it. LOL. #underthesofa OText from Mittens
    via textsfrommittens
  • 04
    Text - .Furizon 10:18 AM Messages Mittens Grandma, are you still coming over for a visit today? Yes, Mittens! I'm looking forward to it! Will you watch me stand between the curtain and the window and tell me how mysterious I look? If you'd like me to. I definitely would. I'll be over in the early afternoon! Roger that, Grandma. #overandout OText from Mittens
    via textsfrommittens
  • 05
    Text - Furizon 9:45 AM Messages Mittens Mittens, I'm coming home at lunchtime today. Oh, good! Can I have some liver treats while you're home? You can have a couple. Oh, good! I can't wait! To see me or to eat the treats? Mittens? I can't wait! OTEXT from Mittens
    via textsfrommittens
  • 06
    Text - Furizon 12:01 PM Messages Mittens Mittens, I'm going to be late tonight. So I should go ahead and prepare for my certain starvation?! Grandma's coming's over to feed you and Earl. Where are you going? There's Superbowl stuff happening downtown. It's not every day it's in our city! There's a Superbowl in our city?? Get one for me. #extradinner #itstheleastyoucando Texts from Mittens
    via textsfrommittens
  • 07
    Text - .Furizon 2:02 PM Messages Mittens So where is this Super Bowl I was promised? Mittens, it's not a real bowl. It's a football game on Sunday. But you know what's even more exciting that the Super Bowl? Dazzle me. The Kitten Bowl! I can't wait for the Kitten Bowl! I'm not getting my giant bowl AND I'm being replaced with a bowl full of kittens? #foul #notafootballjoke OTexts from Mittens
    via textsfrommittens
  • 08
    Text - . Furizon 9:02 AM Messages Mittens Why is that ghastly trash wagon sitting in the living room? Your carrier is nice! False! There's no sun roof and, last time I checked, no bluetooth speakers. #notfancy Don't make excuses to skip your veterinarian appointment. Fine, but when you accidentally drop me in the parking lot and there's no airbag to cushion the impact, it's all on you. I'll pick you up at 2. Texts from Mittens
    via textsfrommittens
  • 09
    Text - Furizon 10:11 AM Messages Mittens Code Red! I found my felt rhino underneath the sofa and he's completely covered with funk! He's infected! Oh, those are just dust bunnies, Mittens. Infected by rabbits?? There are evil rodents running around our house and I'm just hearing about them? Just wipe off the dust. And infect myself? #nicetry I'l be in your hamper until further notice OTexts from Mittens
    via textsfrommittens
  • 10
    Text - .Furizon 9:15 AM Messages Mittens Are you sure those dust bunnies are gone? Yes,Mittens. I swept underneath the sofa last night. So we have your poor housework to thank for the evil rabbit infestation? Dust bunnies are clumps of dust. OK, if you're sure. I am. I love you, Mitty. I love you too, Mama. OTexts from Mittens
    via textsfrommittens
  • 11
    Text - Furizon 2:00 PM Messages Mittens Mittens, I have an offer you can't refuse. What is it, Stumpy? For a small investment, I can set you up with your own catnip dispensary. Sounds like too much work. But a small investment! Sorry, Stumpy. OK, then can I borrow $20? OTexts from Mittens
    via textsfrommittens
  • 12
    Text - Furizon 12:02 PM Messages Mittens Yes, is this Uber? Can you pick up a few of my friends and bring them over for a party? Mittens, it's Mom. This isn't Uber? No. What party? April Fool's! It's February. Presidents' Day! That's Feb 19. #ihavetogo OTexts from Mittens
    via textsfrommittens
  • 13
    Text - Furizon 10:43 AM Messages Mittens I can't wait for Valentine's Day, Mitty! When is that, Fiona? You forgot about Valentine's Day?? No! I wasn't sure if you meant "Valentine's Day" or "Balenteen's Spay." Not your best save. I could know a "Balenteen!" She could be getting spayed! It's Wednesday. #iknewthat OText from Mittens
    via textsfrommittens
  • 14
    Text - .Furizon 10:23 AM Messages Mittens Grandma, Fiona is mad at me. Why is she mad, Mitty? I forgot Valentine's Day is this week. Oh, no. What do I do? Be creative. Creative? Like interpretive dance? Mosaic? Pastel art? Something like that. Roger that. #artistatwork Texts from Mittens
    via textsfrommittens
  • 15
    Text - .Furizon 9:45 AM Messages Mittens Happy Valentine's Day Fiona! Hi, Mittens. You're still mad at me? Well, I have a surprise for you. Surprise? I'm going to play you a song on the springy doorstop. Come over tonight. That sounds nice! Thank you. I love you, Mitty. I love you too, Fiona. #boingboing OTexts from Mittens
    via textsfrommittens
  • 16
    Text - .Furizon 9:00 AM Messages Mittens Mittens, how did the Valentine's song go over with Fiona? Grandma, she loved it! Thank you for the idea. You're welcome, Mitty. I told Mom I'm thinking of becoming a professional springy doorstop player, but I'll need a lot of practice. What did she say? Let's just say she's not especially fond of the constant boing-boing #misunderstoo dartist Texts from Mittens
    via textsfrommittens
  • 17
    Text - .Furizon 12:33 PM Messages Mittens I was looking at your Instagram Yes, Mittens? The photo of Earl got three more likes than the photo of me Mittens, it's only three likes. I know! It's THREE likes! Hold on. Let me check again. Now I* have FOUR more likes than Earl! And balance is now restored in the universe. OTexts from Mittens
    via textsfrommittens
  • 18
    Text - Furizon 3:11 PM Messages Mittens Earl needs a girlfriend, then maybe he'd stop annoying me. Well, if the right dog comes around, maybe it will happen. I think you should set up an online dating profile for him. There's not a dating site for dogs. I'll create one: ilikebigmutts... ..andicannotlie .com Texts from Mittens
    via textsfrommittens
  • 19
    Text - lFurizon 4:10 PM Messages Mittens So do you have a girlfriend for Earl yet? Mittens, leave the dog alone. He doesn't need a girlfriend. But I think another dog would appreciate his flatulence way more than I do. #idont He loves you! New filthy hound dating site name: fartersonly .com OTexts from Mittens
    via textsfrommittens
  • 20
    Text - Furizon 3:34 PM Messages Mittens Mittyyyyy!! What is it, Drunk Patty? I havve a surrprize 4 u! Yes? I jusst got back from the stttore and hav treets 4 me AND u! Roger that. Come over. ill bring the bowels! HA! "BOWLS* Atocorect! I should hope so! OTexts from Mittens
    via textsfrommittens
  • 21
    Text - . Furizon 12:00 PM Messages Mittens It's lunchtime. Yes? You told me you're coming home for lunchtime I told you yesterday came home. That's not everyday? Sorry, Mitty. T think I'm going to need some extra liver treats. #painand suffering #iwasmisled OText from Mittens
    via textsfrommittens
  • 22
    Text - Furizon 8:34 PM Messages Mittens Mittens, are you OK? Whatever do you mean? You've been sleeping in the same position for hours. And your point is? Seems like a long time. And? That's all. OK then. I'm going back to sleep #overandout #bigbrother OTexts from Mittens
    via textsfrommittens
  • 23
    Text - lFurizon 12:02 PM Messages Mittens I'm suing! There's a sun puddle happening in your bedroom and no one informed me! They come and go. Well, I lost valuable sun puddle time and heads are gonna roll. Whose heads? Earl's! The dog? And he has more than one head? #stopdeflecting OTexts from Mittens
    via textsfrommittens
  • 24
    Text - Furizon 2:11 PM Messages Mittens I've placed my felt rhino in a secret place. I'm going to share the location with you in case I'm infected by dog venom and unexpectedly perish Under the sofa pillow? Curses! But you don't know where I keep my favorite pipe cleaner! Behind the toilet? Double curses! The Mittens has NO secrets AND he's going to die by dog venom! Texts from Mittens
    via textsfrommittens
  • 25
    Text - Furizon 10:34 AM Messages Mittens What's black and white and red all over? I don't know. The Mittens, lounging on Grandma's red sweater while she feeds him lots and lots of liver treats. Mittens, you eat too many treats. #untrue What's black and white and FED all over? I have to go Texts from Mittens
    via textsfrommittens
  • 26
    Text - Furizon 9:01 AM Messages Mittens Happpy BirRthDay, MITTYYYY! Thanks, Drunk Patty. How old r u? I'm timeless. OHHH. Mystearious! I wantto bring u sum birfday treatz, but maybee you just had breakfastt? The Mittens is timeless AND so is my eating schedule. #bringthem Texts from Mittens
    via textsfrommittens
  • 27
    Text - Furizon 10:22 AM Messages Mittens Mitty, did you enjoy your birthday? Oh, yes! Was the fancy pillow your favorite gift? No. The new treat jar? No. Then what? I was particularly fond of the runaway scrambled eggs on the kitchen floor. Can it be my birthday again tomorrow? OTexts from Mittens
    via textsfrommittens

    Via: Texts From Mittens

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