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28 Hilarious Tweets That'll Tickle You Right In The Funny Bone

Here's another round of the funniest tweets we could find, for your reading pleasure!

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  • 1
    Text - Cole Buer @colehearted yeah break ups suck but have you ever left your to-go box on the table at restaurant??
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  • 2
    Text - Daniel Tran @Daanieltran La Croix taste like if you were drinking carbonated water and someone screamed out loud the name of a specific fruit in the other room 1/7/18, 1:09 PM
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  • 3
    Text - Jake Paul @jakepaul I love Pokemon! 5:20 PM 19 Mar 18 5,428 Retweets 9,355 Likes Pokémon@Pokemon 2d Replying to@jakepaul Now we gotta throw away the whole franchise. Thanks Jake
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  • 4
    Text - The Marxist Mrs. Maisel @existentialpink yesterday my mom stopped to help a stranded motorist who couldn't get his car to accelerate, and kindly informed him that he needed to stop trying to rev the engine, as it was flooding his fuel line with gas. he told her didn't need a lady's opinion. anyway his car caught fire 1/20/18, 10:54 AM
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  • 5
    Text - ibid @ibid78 [math teacher] your homework looks like chicken scratch, but you got them all correct [later at home] I think she's on to us, mathmachicken
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  • 6
    Text - Josh @iwearaonesie me *choking on a piece of popcorn* wife *turns the TV up* 2/6/18, 2:59 PM
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  • 7
    Text - brent @murrman5 [while being tackled by police dog] what's his name?
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  • 8
    Text - Patrick Walsh @thepatrickwalsh Taking a post-concession stand wrong turn, I clomp out onto Olympic ice, a hot dog in each hand. "Y'all skatin'?" inquire, my mouth caked in mustard. I am fatally tackled by security. 2/11/18, 8:25 PM
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  • 9
    Text - devan @devanlunceford eyelashes are supposed to prevent things from going into your eyes but whenever i have something in my eye it's always an eyelash. eyeronic
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  • 10
    Text - Not Sara @smithsara79 Me: *slapping my older brother in the face with his own hand* haha stop hitting yourself, why are you hitting yourself Sister-in-law: *crying* is this why you wanted an open casket 12/11/17, 9:31 AM
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  • 11
    Text - nude and angry Follow @egg_dog facte: you eat 28 spiders in your lifetime. always 28. if you are about to die and you have only eaten 3 then 25 spiders arrive at once
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  • 12
    Text - Kristen @kica333 My walk of shame is going back for a shopping cart after realizing I can't carry 23 items in my arms through the store
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  • 13
    Text - Cat Damon @CornOnThe Gobl in me: i let my cat drink the bathtub water while i was in it priest: once again kind of weird but not a sin 3/5/17, 7:22 AM
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  • 14
    Text - Matt Bellassai @MattBellassai every time i reply to an e-mail, i sound like a civil war widow: "Apologies for the slow reply. Twas long and trying winter and life has been naught but a constant chain of struggle and despair. Please excuse my idleness during these troubled times..." ||
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  • 15
    Text - Barack Obama @BarackObama Happy Valentine's Day, @MichelleObama. You make every day and every place better. Joe Biden @JoeBiden @BarackObama guess l'll cancel that reservation. Wow, okay, cool.
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  • 16
    Text - Dennis Farrell @DennisFarrell Imagine being held at gunpoint (bear with me) by a literate animal, and the only hope of rescue is (BEAR WITH ME) tweeting a coded message 5:23 PM 26 Apr 17 5,505 LIKES 3,238 RETWEETS
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  • 17
    Text - t Tonytoughstuff Retweeted Cat Damon @CornOnTheGoblin "do you have any pets" [remembers girls like sensitive guys] a cat "what's his name" remembers girls also like tough guys] missile launcher 10/07/2017, 04:36 17.6K Retweets 46.2K Likes
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  • 18
    Text - thomas violence @thomas_violence oh dope, one of my most hated enemies just gave me a giant wooden horse for free.completely unexpected, this rules 2/7/18, 2:24 AM
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  • 19
    Text - Samantha Ruddy @samlymatters Whenever my friends make drunk plans for brunch, I always feel like a shark tank judge. I'm like "You have no real plan, I've seen this idea fall apart before, and I know for a fact that you don't have the money. For these reasons, am out."
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  • 20
    Personal protective equipment - Jesse Popp IAMTHS BEST @jessepopp Finally, some events I'm good at. Chang 201 ye Vomiting, Diarrhea Hit the Olympics Feb 6, 2018 9:15 AM CST 2/7/18, 12:28 AM
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  • 21
    Text - char @charlottejorrey today in class this guy I was sitting next to had a bag of carrots & the entire class he kept throwing them into his backpack. I asked him what he was doing & he was like "oh sorry do u want one? they're for Kent" and then just whips open his backpack to show his chinchilla Kent 12/4/17, 11:57 AM
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  • 22
    Text - ..Teejo. @TJKilbride A guy in my office is shaking his protein shake and this woman poked her head around the corner and said "do I hear margaritasssss?"... no Janet, it's 10 am. 11/30/17, 10:13 AM from Topeka, KS
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  • 23
    Text - dan mentos liked keet @KeetPotato poet: knick knack.. paddy whack.. me: this guy is awful my dog: i know right poet: .give the dog a bone my dog: actually lets hear him out 06/03/2017, 15:10 448 RETWEETS 1,461 LIKES
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  • 24
    Text - Oun 7 pens! MehGyver @AndrewNadeau aDO If a Transformer died could you just use it's body as a regular car? Like, respectfully tho.
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  • 25
    Text - Jon @ArfMeasures ME: Alexa, amI drunk? TUBE OF PRINGLES: 1/12/18, 4:01 PM
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  • 26
    Text - GoaT FacE ThrillA @Endhoos Cop: COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP [Confused German woman walks out holding her BF above her head] Hanz: He said HANDS you infernal Fräulein 28/12/2015, 10:09 a.m.
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  • 27
    Text - The Hyperdrive @TheHyyyурe [speed-dating] ME: wanna see a magic trick? HER: sure! ME: yikes *writes "27 years old and still believes in magic" in notebook* 2/5/18, 2:19 PM
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  • 28
    Text - Not Sara @smithsara79 Date: I'm pretty easygoing, you? Me: *regularly gets stressed out doing captcha tests bc I don't know if bushes count as trees* Definitely. 10/18/17, 3:42 PM
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