Legendary Tumblr Post Recounts The Impossibly Mindless Acts Of A Dude Named Kevin

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mattstaff
Jan 12, 2019 8:00 PM EST

Kevin's just a misunderstood legend who's WILD AF. 

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  • 01
    Text - there's always that jerk named kevin that shows up in cartoons animentality it's a bitch name starlightshoe anyone remember the kevin story memequeenmachine420 What is the Kevin story? starlightshoe someone once made a legendary post on reddit, asking who is the dumbest person youve ever met Kevin wasn't special needs or anything, but he sure was one interesting character. the gist of it can be found in these bullet points:
    via Gerov
  • 02
    Text - It was by some incredible fluke that his family hadn't been wiped off the face of the Earth years ago. Odds are his entire heritage was based on blind luck and some type of sick divine intervention that saves his family every time a threat presents itself. Kevin was the genetic pinnacle of this null achievement...So here's a list of events that made it abundantly clear that god exists and he's laughing uncontrollably:" Kevin ate an entire 24 pack of crayons, puked, and then did it again t
    via Gerov
  • 03
    Text - Kevin's mom could never remember which school he went to. She missed several meetings because she drove to other schools (none of which he ever went to) Kevin tazed himself in the neck before a football game Kevin kept a bottle of orange koolaide in his backpack for about 4 months. He thought it would turn into alcohol. He drank it during homeroom and threw up. Kevin said the N-word a lot. Kevin was white. The highschool was 84% black. Kevin got beat up a lot. Kevin stole another student'
    via Gerov
  • 04
    Text - Kevin regularly tried to cheat on assignments by knocking the pile over, grabbing one before I had picked them all up, and then writing it name on it wherever there was room. Kevin had several allergies, but neither his parents nor he could remember what they were. They were very concerned that "the holiday party" would have peanuts. When they finally got a doctor's note....he was allergic to amoxicillin Kevin and his parents took a trip to Nassau and forgot all their luggage at home. I d
    via Gerov

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