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Funniest Relationship Tweets We Scrolled Past This Week

Guaranteed to make you laugh, cry or both.

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  • 1
    Text - Boyd's BackyardTM Follow @TheBoydP What's it called when you don't lose arguments with your wife because you're good at changing the topic? I'm that. 5:12 PM 12 Dec 2018 204 Retweets 598 Likes
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  • 2
    Text - Chase Follow @mrmakethings When my girlfriend makes me angry, I look at her through the fork and pretend she's in jail. It heals me spiritually 9:20 AM 11 Dec 2018 148,653 Retweets 851,474 Likes
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  • 3
    Text - Kane... Follow @KHOwes Are all girls obsessed with popping their boyfriends spots/blackheads or is it just mine? 4:18 AM - 10 Dec 2018 5,705 Retweets 46,097 Likes
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  • 4
    Text - cassandra Follow @junglered Dating in your 30s seems awful but what's the alternative? Getting married in your 20s? This is a lose lose situation 3:33 PM 8 Dec 2018 6,896 Retweets 57,760 Likes
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  • 5
    Text - Jingle Yaels Follow @elle91 [On a date] Him: I love a woman with a sense of humor, I'm a sucker for a good pun. Me: omg same. lol Jeremy if you were sliced up into little pieces and soaked in coffee liqueur and then layered between ladyfingers you'd be a jeramisu. Him: Me: Him: Me: jeramisu 6:12 PM - 11 Dec 2018 395 Retweets 2,700 Likes
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  • 6
    Text - Jon Follow @ArfMeasures Date: You seem close to your mom Me: I am Mom: It is a small table for 3 10:23 AM 15 Dec 2018 471 Retweets 3,914 Likes
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  • 7
    Text - minkstolethisname Follow @minkpinkustink After 17 years I can say with authority that the key to a long marriage is being too lazy to get up off the couch and set your spouse on fire 12:46 AM - 10 Dec 2018 156 Retweets 485 Likes
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  • 8
    Text - The Exception Follow @Not_The_Rule Date guys who love their dogs. They always go home early. 5:58 PM 8 Dec 2018 149 Retweets 572 Likes
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  • 9
    Text - James Follow @CaucasianJames ladies santa is 6'4 has a beard and a dad bod quit acting like u don't wanna sit on his lap 1:01 PM - 17 Dec 2018 2,417 Retweets 22,013 Likes
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  • 10
    Text - Jackson Strick Follow @StrickJackson Dating app where people who cheat only match with other people who cheat so they can fuck up each other's lives and the rest of us can date in peace 1:57 PM - 6 Dec 2018 9,106 Retweets 100,988 Likes
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  • 11
    Text - amanda Follow @amanda_c_rae I feel really bad for my future husband because he's going to roll over every morning and see my ugly ass face sleeping with my mouth open and my messy hair everywhere... looking like I've just been through a tornado, a lion attack, and not 1 but 2 world wars 6:34 AM - 2 Dec 2018 56,372 Retweets 257,594 Likes
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  • 12
    Text - holly jolly bitch @potionsandbee Follow My husband was a bit upset cause I told him his jeans were in the dryer and he checked and couldn't find them. But don't worry, I found them. They were in the dryer. 11:24 AM - 19 Sep 2018 9,820 Retweets 82,503 Likes
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  • 13
    Text - gnatalie @jbfan911 Follow me: hello 911 operator: hello what's ur emergency me: these men won't stop laughing operator: ok yea that's annoying but not a crime me: wtf is manslaughter then 1:28 PM 13 Dec 2018 61,111 Retweets 256,883 Likes
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  • 14
    Text - bananafanafofisa Follow @lisaxy424 anyone: you're pretty me: (just take the compliment just take the compliment just take the compliment) WHO SENT YOU 6:52 AM - 18 Dec 2018 52 Retweets 204 Likes
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  • 15
    Text - kiana Follow @kted_kiki imagine being so mad at your man you promote this tweet Alexis @_thuugnaasty I'm done lol 71 9 t1.9 Promoted 9:10 AM - 16 Dec 2018 1,155 Retweets 8,172 Likes
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