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16 of Tumblr's Most Punishingly Dad-Tastic Jokes

Yeah, there's some damn good punnery going on with these dad jokes. This is more than mere wordplay, this is like, an entire word theater. So grab a dad (or anyone who enjoys cringeworthy jokes) and enjoy these elaborate and ridiculous puns. Don't go away if you want more dad jokes. They're endless here. 

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  • 1
    I bought my friend an elephant for their room. They said "Thank you. I sald "Don't mention it." Is there a joke here that 15 thousand people get but I don't? slow clap 198,920 notes
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  • 2
    a motorcycle gang made up of ancient bisexual norse monarchs: the bikings I JUST REALIZED THAT THIS POST IS 4 PUNS IN ONE OH MY GODDDDD
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  • 3
    my friend was cold so I told her to stand in a corner corners are 90 degrees I had to lean back in my chair and stare out the window for several minutes because I am so done with this website.
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  • 4
    what do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs? I don't know. What? condescending con descending. get out That was beautiful
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  • 5
    If corals get stressed they die, so if I was coral I would be dead what do coral even get stressed about Current events Get out. 552,858 notes tl
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  • 6
    where did noah keep his bees IN THE ARK HIVES Get the fuck away from me right now
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  • 7
    An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, "Can you all see me now?" Yes. "Oul. "Si. "Ja." what roseonabeach Took me about ten minutes to finally understand this wanderoar stupidest/most awesome joke ever
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  • 8
    The man entered his home and was absolutely delighted when he discovered someone had stolen every lamp in the house. oh my god i just do not understand this post what even This post makes me so angry
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  • 9
    What do french people call a really bad thursday? a trajeudi
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  • 10
    I've been making dad jokes for years but my wife and I are expecting our first child and I've finally been making dad jokes while actually being a dad. When we were in the hospital I got my wife a blanket. What was awesome was they were kept in this machine that was specífically made to heat blankets. I laid the blanket over my wife and said, "do you think they keep these at womb temperature?" I heard a nurse laugh for a solid 3 minutes. This is
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  • 11
    a man walks into a zoo. the only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. it's a shitzu this is literally my favourite joke ever
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  • 12
    which american president was least guilty lincoln TRUST EN COD SERTY 2010 he was in a cent I told this joke at Mouth Rushmore and the park ranger hit me
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  • 13
    What did the pirate say when he turned 80 Aye matey GO TO HELL THAT WAS CLEVER Source: helianthi #OH MY GOD 420,579 notes
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  • 14
    A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "uno, dos... *poof*.. He disappeared without 28 a tres. 526482: I'm mad as fuck cause this stupid ass joke amused me
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  • 15
    what's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? skeletongrazed one's a crusty bus station and one's a busty crustacean kurgs #ive told this joke a million times and it NEVER fails
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  • 16
    What's the tallest buildings in your city? jadehariey THE LIBRARY BECAUSE IT HAS THE MOST STORIES sukoshibot tarlight I can't believe I'm being punder arrest.
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