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28 Kids Who Have Mastered The Art Of Savagery In These Much Too Honest Tweets

Kids are known to have no filter and be honest. Brutally so. Here are some of the most savage things kids have said to their parents. 

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  • 1
    twitter post I was arguing with my husband and my son screamed "yay! TWO christmases!" from the other room
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  • 2
    twitter post Me to my 5-yr-old, balancing precariously on a stool: "Be careful that's not very stable!" Her: "YOU'RE not very stable!"
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  • 3
    twitter post Judah just asked for "homemade" chocolate milk. Like that. In scare quotes.
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  • 4
    twitter post Me: Please get dressed. 9yo: But you're still in your pajamas! Me: I AM dressed 9yo: Is that what you're calling [waves palm at me] this?
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  • 5
    twitter post dad: "come on, you guys are LATE!!!! 11yo: "you should have started YELLING at us earlier!
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  • 6
    twitter post 4-year-old: Can I have some of your candy? Wife: I got this for Mother's Day. 4: You're only a mom because of me.
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  • 7
    twitter post 4-year-old: Can we get a kitten? Me: I'm allergic. We can't be in the same house. 4: You could sleep outside
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  • 8
    twitter post 6yo: Mommy, when you get older will you look all gross? Me: What do you mean, 'gross'? 6yo: Like how you are now, but wrinklier.
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  • 9
    twitter post My daughter: "When you're old do you automatically have to become boring?"
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  • 10
    twitter post Otis: Mom, I'm the smart one around here.
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  • 11
    twitter post "Mason, please use your manners." "I can't. I left them in the car. Sorry."
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  • 12
    twitter post Me: "See this? It's a fossil of a fish that lived FIFTY MILLION YEARS AGO!" 7yo: "So you were almost born then, right?"
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  • 13
    twitter post I don't follow rules, I follow dogs on social media"
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  • 14
    twitter post "Mommy does my butt wiggle when I walk like yours does?"
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  • 15
    twitter post B: is that an old picture mom? Me: no that's me 6 weeks ago B: you look younger in photos
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  • 16
    twitter post Me to my son: You remind me of me. Son: That's just mean
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  • 17
    twitter post My 6yo daughter just caught me getting out of the shower. "It looks like a minion!"
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  • 18
    twitter post Daughter: "You need to fix my hair before we go." Son: "You don't have to look nice. Look at mom. See?"
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  • 19
    twitter post Me: "How many kisses do you need from me?" 3yo: "Probably just zero."
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  • 20
    twitter post 5yo: Just one more question before I go to bed Me: What? 5yo: What are the lines on your forehead for? Me... 5yo: Now they look angry.
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  • 21
    twitter post My 11yo wrote me an apology for misbehaving in the car that included "I love you so much but sometimes forget to care about your existence."
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  • 22
    twitter post 10: Mom what's a metaphor? Me: My life is a train wreck 10: I know Mom, but what is a metaphor?
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  • 23
    twitter post Kid in Gavin's class: Is Gavin going to have a baby sister? Me: No..why? Kid: Oh sorry..I misunderstood your dress.
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  • 24
    twitter post Me: "Yay! I'm officially 45!" Hanna: "Haven't you been 45 for years?
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  • 25
    twitter post Words still resounding in my head since breakfast, 'Look! It's a picture of Mama before she got saggy..
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  • 26
    twitter post Me: We all make mistakes 5: Even you? Me: Yep 5: Oh yeah! Like when you're trying to cook food that tastes good but then it doesn't?
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  • 27
    twitter post Berlyn: "daddy, ur hair is growing in the wrong direction! Its going back in ur head instead of out!".ouch!
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  • 28
    twitter post This is how my daughter tells me I'm a good mom. A post-it on the fridge. i'm not Dead Yet! Amelie
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  • About the Author

    Ameatball
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