25-year-old punishes her lazy roommate for leaving dirty dishes piled high in the sink yet again by placing them in a bin outside of her door, igniting roomie feud: “You couldn't even see the sink!”

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  • 01

    AITA moving my roommate's dirty dishes outside her door after she left kitchen unusable?

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    so I (25F) share a house with 3 other girls, and we have this unspoken rule that if you cook something, you clean up your mess right after. at least that's what I THOUGHT was the rule.
  • 03
    last week i came home from a 12hr shift (i work at a hospital) and the kitchen was absolutely WRECKED. like, there were pots everywhere, food stuck to the stove, and dishes piled so high you couldn't even see the sink.
  • 04
    turns out my roommate had meal prepped for the entire week and then just... left it all there. she wasn't even home - went to her bf's place for the night!
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    i was exhausted, hungry, and tbh just wanted to make a quick sandwich before passing out. but i literally couldn't find a clean spot to even put bread down. i texted the group chat like "hey who destroyed the kitchen?" and got no response.
  • 07
    so i took pics of everything, then cleaned just enough space for ME to make MY food. then i took all her dirty dishes, pots, food containers etc and put them in a big plastic bin. i left it outside her bedroom door with a note that said "next time clean your mess or at least give us a heads up."
  • 08
    when she got home the next day she FLIPPED OUT, saying i had no right to touch her stuff, that some of it was expensive cookware that could get damaged, and that she was planning to clean it when she got back. she called me petty and controlling.
  • 09
    but here's the thing - this isn't the first time. she's done this before and promised to stop. plus, how am i supposed to use the kitchen when it looks like a bomb went off? the other roommates are split - one thinks i went too far, the other one actually thanked me privately. AITA for putting all my roommate's dirty dishes in a bin outside her room?
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    NTA turquoise_turtle83 But the arrangement sounds exhausting if she keeps doing this and don't take accountability for it. Its perfectly resonable that she has to clean up after
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    herself and if she cares about the kitchen stuff obviously she doesn't leave the home without sorting it out. Imho, the wierdest thing in this scenario is that one room mate would think you went too far.
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    BlaketheFlake I don't find that too weird because there are always other social dynamics at play in these situations. The "too-far" roommate could be someone who never actually cooks so they care more about placating the hot head, they could be best friends
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    with the hothead and barely know OP so they will take sides no matter what, or they could be a messy person as well and so they also don't get it. This and the last roommate not speaking up is why these rooming situations can be nightmares.
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    PleaseCoffeeMe Nope, when living with others, clean as you go is a basic rule. If roommate really cared about her "expensive" cookware, she would have taken care of it. Might be time for a roommate meeting in which
  • 16
    you discuss basic rules and what will happen if one is ignored. le., if laundry is left in dryer, it's placed on your bed, if left in washer, put on top of it, etc. if someone wants to live like they don't have roommates, then they should move out. NTA
  • 17
    NTA VenusInAries666 It's always the messy, disorganized roommate who's the first to call you petty, controlling, uptight, neurotic, etc for wanting basic house rules to be established and respected. They act like children and expect you'll be just as "chill" about their mess and disorganization as they are. So you end up feeling like the bad guy for having a bar that's not on the floor.
  • 18
    Tell her you'll be petty each and every time, so she can either clean her mess or deal with the consequences. The world doesn't stop just because she didn't manage her time appropriately.
  • 19
    Traditional-Bag-4508 Wait... she flipped out? You had no right to touch her stuff? Expensive cookware could be damaged? If the kitchen was a wreck & unusable, as you stated. She left her "expensive" cookware unwashed in a shared kitchen, at least overnight. She's a disrespectful selfish self centered human with no regard for those living in the same house.
  • 20
    This rule needs to be SPOKEN & LOUDLY & CLEARLY. NTA But your "thanked you privately" Roomate and the other members are too.
  • 21
    BoomerKaren666 I used to make sure the kitchen was cleaned up before I went to bed every night. I'd get up in the morning to a filthy kitchen because my room mate and her daughter would decide to make popcorn (pre Microwave) and/or fry up bologna for sandwiches.
  • 22
    One day room mate had already left for work before I got up. I went into the kitchen and, sure enough, it was a disaster. So I collected all the pots, pans, plates, silverware and open food containers and lobbed it all in her bed. She was p ed but she cleaned her sh up after that.
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    rhubarb-81635 NTA. If she doesn't want people to touch her stuff, she should clean it up right away. It was pretty selfish of her to take up communal space and making it unusable for everyone else.
  • 25
    NTA anakmoon Ifher cookware was SO important she wouldn't leave it out like that. I am mad petty. I would tell her it's not the first time, and if I have to act like her parent, next time it's going in a garbage bag and going outside.
  • 26
    DonutsForever99 NTA I have fancy a cookware because I cook a lot, and nothing is going to get damaged by putting it in front of her door unless you're being wildly careless with it.
  • 27
    You can't leave a mess for 12-24 hours in a shared living space. Also, if her cookware were that fancy, she'd be taking care of it versus leaving it crusted with food on a counter.
  • 28
    RealLuxTempo NTA As a younger person I have been in similar situations and it's annoying and exhausting. You took a bold stand. Good for you.
  • 29
    joanclaytonesq NTA. It's not ok to make a mess in a shared kitchen and then leave for the night. You shouldn't have to come home from work and clean up after someone just to make a meal. You aren't her parent and you shouldn't have to deal with her mess.

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