21 Dad Jokes In Honor Of Father's Day

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mattstaff
Jun 16, 2019 6:30 PM EDT

These dad jokes are awful and we absolutely love them. You don't have to be a dad to like these truly shudder-worthy jokes, but if you are a dad, happy Father's Day. If you're not a dad, happy... day. We hope you enjoy causing pain to your loved ones with these horrendous jokes. 

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  • 01
    Text - I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.
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  • 02
    Text - I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around.
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  • 03
    Text - What's Forest Gump's Facebook password? 1forest1
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  • 04
    Text - How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Look for fresh prints.
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  • 05
    Text - Never take advice from electrons. They are always negative.
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  • 06
    Text - I knew I shouldn't steal a mixer from work, but it was a whisk I was willing to take.
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  • 07
    Text - Two muffins were sitting in an oven, and the first looks over to the second, and says, "man, it's really hot in here". The second looks over at the first with a surprised look, and answers, "WHOA, a talking muffin!"
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  • 08
    Text - My son's Math Teacher called him average. I think he's mean.
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  • 09
    Text - Whiteboards are remarkable.
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  • 10
    Text - Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock? Because it's a little meteor.
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  • 11
    Text - A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
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  • 12
    Text - Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
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  • 13
    Text - Conjunctivitis.com now that's a site for sore eyes.
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  • 14
    Text - I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. Guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
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  • 15
    Text - I just read a book about Stockholm syndrome. It was pretty bad at first, but by the end I liked it.
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  • 16
    Text - Why do birds fly south for the winter? Because it's too far to walk.
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  • 17
    Text - My sister bet me $15 that I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face asI drove pasta.
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  • 18
    Green - I made a belt out of watches once. It was a waist of time.
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  • 19
    Text - Just read a few facts about frogs. They were ribbiting.
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  • 20
    Text - My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought. It's an extremely rare dish order."
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  • 21
    Text - I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.
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Tags

fathers day dad jokes ridiculous funny holidays terrible dads jokes bad jokes
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