Eighty-Eight Screenshots of Tweets

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FightMilk22
Dec 4, 2019 8:08 PM EST

Screenshots of Tweets are technically MEMES depending who you ask. There really is no consensus on the matter. Here are Fifty-Five more other things people typed out online.

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  • 01
    Text - Quinn Sutherland @ReelQuinn Taco Bell is closed on Thanksgiving which tells you a lot about Taco Bell and even more about me. 6:25 PM 11/28/19 Twitter Web App
    via Reddit
  • 02
    Text - amelia elizalde @ameliaelizalde a game show called Are You Hot Enough To Act Like That. i am the host and the answer is no
    via Reddit
  • 03
    Text - OLIVIA @HoneyEyedOlive one time someone said pavlov probably thought about feeding his dogs every time he heard someone ring a bell and i haven't been the same since 4:58 PM 26 Nov 19 Twitter for Android 55.7K Retweets 308K Likes
    via Reddit
  • 04
    Text - Anna Brandberg @annabrandberg When I was a child, I thought the "adult drink" was coffee. When I became a teenager,I thought the "adult drink" was beer. As an adult, I've realised the "adult drink" is in fact... water. 11:19 PM 11/30/19 Twitter for Android
    via Reddit
  • 05
    Text - narishkeyt cheesesteaks-and-anarchy Follow cockanimal i think the crux of human misery stems from the fact that our skeleton just wants to sit around and accumulate dust in an ancient barrow (that is the innate imperative of all skeletal remains in-case you didn't know) but our meat has its own agenda which creates this fundamental conflict of interests sonypraystation my organs keep whining about self preservation, my bones? playing the waiting game jeremiahdogsbreath There is comfort in
    via Reddit
  • 06
    Text - Awesomely Luvvie @Luvvie Every time I think "maybe I should buy airpods" I remember that I'm the absent-minded person who has almost left her big ass Bose Over the Ear headphones on a plane at least 3x before. I'd lose the Airpods at the checkout register. NOPE. 19:52 12/2/19 Twitter Web App
    via Reddit
  • 07
    Text - heuse the Nya @Nya_Papaya Eviction is temporary, drip is forever Teflon Don @bert_leonce 8h Pay rent or Black Friday shopping? Choose wisely 9:35 AM 29 Nov 19 Twitter for iPhone 15.6K Retweets 49K Likes
    via Reddit
  • 08
    People - mamí @kujaa Its been 3 years my child still mad cause he didnt ask to be here
    via Reddit
  • 09
    Yoda - therock Congrats, @TheRock WIVw Liked by bigdmam420 and 3,739,674 others therock Thank you all so much for your well wishes, love & support Can't wait to bring this little nugget home to meet his brother @kevinhart4real. Via @complexpop #iamyourfather ी @jillyhendrix
    via Reddit
  • 10
    Text - zion @goldenlushzi I'm deeply worried by the amount of people who lack empathy that are going into medical and psychology fields because the money's good..y'all putting people's physical and mental health on the line
    via Reddit
  • 11
    Text - frank @fahdshake imagine it's 2020. you about to graduate, find love, make new friends, travel all around the world ...but you still can't play music from the youtube app in the background, and you too stubborn to pay for that shit some things never change 7:23 PM Nov 29, 2019 Twitter Web App
    via Reddit
  • 12
    Text - Mike Wells @mikewtfwells Some people think McDonalds workers don't deserve $15 an hour because they messed up their order. These are the same people who forget to respond to a work e-mail.
    via Reddit
  • 13
    Text - roxannat @NicLiamo uncle sexy Marc @MarcSnetiker 1d your batman villain identity is your childhood fear what your uncle calls you Show this thread 11:21 29 Nov 19 Twitter for iPhone 47 Retweets 478 Likes
    via Reddit
  • 14
    Text - Thought-Lyssa @alysSAWRAH 20h Homeboy smart af proposing during the maternity shoot. Two birds one photographer's fee. We love a financially responsible king Lil' Bit @aliyeeet 1d So I said yes Show this thread 421 L80.5K 500K
    via Reddit
  • 15
    Text - Gregory L. Jordan Sr. @FFT Squad @Abdul_Qadir41 AsFFT Your terrible job is the dream of the unemployed. Your house is the dream of the homeless. Your smile is the dream of the depressed. Your health is the dream of the ill. Don't let difficult times make you forget your blessings 12:29 PM 12/2/19 Twitter for iPhone
    via Reddit
  • 16
    Text - Abimbola @Qween_jojo I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro
    via Reddit
  • 17
    Text - woo @handsomelyrude pussy? in exchange for all that? go to hell Imaooooo00 @kylesistervibes 2d When he has great sense of humour, good communication, good dick, not broke, smart, romantic, wants a family, protective & accepts my attitude
    via Reddit
  • 18
    Joker - Trillhan Omar @trilllizard666 you know what movie nobody brought fuckin machetes to? The Independent@Independent 1d Five teenagers including 13-year-old girl arrested after 'machete' brawl during Frozen 2 viewing independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/... 2:11 PM 24 Nov 19 Twitter for Android
    via Reddit
  • 19
    Text - m @okaishawty I hate when people are like "high school teachers told me college would be hard but my professor just gave an exam that asked me what color the sky is" like idk what kinda weenie hut jr university you attend but i just got a 46% on my chem exam and need to transfer asap
    via Reddit
  • 20
    Text - Plant Based PapiY@Ven... 2h When she says "I'm glad you not like them other niggas" but thinking to yourself your 10x worse them them other niggas t4 6
    via Reddit
  • 21
    Text - NymN @NymN HS The vet said my cat has been licking his penis more than usual 3:12 PM 15 Nov 18 2 Retweets 76 Likes ti NymN @NYMN_HS 22m His own penis not the vets 76
    via Reddit
  • 22
    Text - Max Black Hole @maxblackhole Even if climate change WAS a hoax, so fucking what?! The worst case scenario for taking climate action is we clean up our planet, and the stockmarket takes a dip. The worst case scenario for NOT acting is every living thing on the planet fucking dies! Why are we debating this? 05:43 20/8/19 Twitter for iPhone
    via Reddit
  • 23
    Text - Jared Freid @jtrain56 I'm the type of liar who eats a whole pizza but throws the crust of the last piece down like, "Ok. Enough." As if had any self control and didn't just eat a whole pizza. 11:52 PM 11/30/19 Twitter for iPhone
    via Reddit
  • 24
    Text - GhastlY (o,,,) @Ghastly If ur ever bored at a party just start cooking a spoon w a lighter, everyone freaks out for some reason
    via Reddit
  • 25
    Text - Danya @dxxnya my sister was worried about bringing her girlfriend to thanksgiving because she hasn't come out to our conservative, texan, retired preacher, grandfather. so i turned on gold rush on discovery channel and he didn't even blink for like 4 hours
    via Reddit
  • 26
    Text - Dana Schwartz @DanaSchwartzzz Kids putting their teeth under their pillows is the most occultist shit in the world. Yes, child, put the discarded bone under your pillow. if you are lucky the tiny demon will come and make her purchase. Sell your bones for riches, my child, your youth will be spent soon.
    via Reddit
  • 27
    Text - Sorry for my tweets but I'm never st... @sug_knight The strap on the back of crocs is so they stay on during sex
    via Reddit
  • 28
    Food - quinta brunson @quintabrunson I didn't get to have canned sauce this year, and honestly, I missed it. Homemade sauce can't compare. Our canned queen just has that IT factor. Aretha's Casket Pumps @Nothinbut... 2d The only cranberry sauce we acknowledge.
    via Reddit
  • 29
    Text - T @TMN3218 Every single one of the Kardashians is a single mother except the one with a sex tape.. moral of the story: Be a hoe.
    via Reddit
  • 30
    Litopenaeus setiferus - ASCIENCEENTHUSIAST.COM Researchers Say Shrimp Are Testing Positive For Cocaine And Nobody Knows Why
    via Reddit
  • 31
    Face - OG Kita P @ltsme Kaypee_ 13h Bro my granny was just sitting in the middle of the kitchen in her wheelchair & my uncle said "aight mama you gone have to get ya Uber out the kitchen" GIF + 104 L 7,390 30.7K
    via Reddit
  • 32
    Text - Moopes @Moopes17 Carrie Underwood: "he's probably buying her some fruity little drink 'cause she can't shoot whiskey" 8 yr old me: wow how embarrassing 8:38 PM 9/5/19 Twitter for iPhone
    via Reddit
  • 33
    Text - Daniel Finkelstein @Dannythefink PNNER My friend was in an airport lounge when a man came in and said "is there an economist in this lounge?" My friend, startled but pleased, announced proudly: "Actually yes I'm an economist". The man gave him an odd look and said: "...the magazine". II
    via Reddit
  • 34
    Text - Claire Dayton @idreamofpunk Nurse: you scored a 25/27 on your mental health questionnaire. Me: so that means I'm good at mental health, right? *Crisis Counselor enters room* Me: ah, beans.
    via Reddit
  • 35
    Text - Tweet New York Post @nypost Nov 26 NEW POST Perineum sunning' is latest insanity wellness influencers swear by trib.al/nMFWcfT t583 85 5.1K Fatt Catt Matt @fatt_matt Replying to @blainecapatch and @pattonoswalt Sun god Ra, cradling a coffee cup in both hands as he stares down at a chorus line of taints: "they used to build statues of me..." 2:41 AM Nov 28, 2019 Twitter for iPhone >
    via Reddit
  • 36
    Text - You think the teletubbies ever watch porn on each other's tv stomachs? 4 GarregMachGatekeeper 52m 40 418
    via Reddit
  • 37
    Text - Dave Hurley @hurlarious [INT. STARBUCKS - DAY] Me: Theres a large rat in the bathroom Barista:? Me: A large rat Barista: ? Me: THERES A VENTI RAT IN THE BATHROOM
    via Reddit
  • 38
    Technology - It's a Southern Thing Sautherrn THIN@Southernthing T'S Please note how most of the South knows what they're doing this week. MOST GOOGLED THANKSGIVING RECIPES MASHED POTATOES JELL-O GREEN BEAN CASSEROLE MAC AND CHEESE SOURCE .co Goog 6:45 ET HLN
    via Reddit
  • 39
    Text - azgSamantha DeLoach @Sam_DeLoach *checks pregnancy test & it's positive* teen: omg my mom's gonna kill me unborn baby: omg my mom's gonna kill me 6:00 AM Dec 1, 2019 Twitter for iPhone
    via Reddit
  • 40
    Text - Brxnk$ Retweeted clyde. @corrouchies 22h When she won Miss South Sudan she received a car. She sold the car to purchase medication for Nile communities suffering from cholera and malaria. Just... clyde. @corrouchies 22h Miss South Sudan. 996.3K views 1:26/1:57 t 34K 126 108.5K
    via Reddit
  • 41
    Text - dustin Couch @Dustinkcouch one time i shut myself in my room and listened to linkin park while crying because a girl told me she wouldn't be able to go to with me to the 2005 nickelodeon's kids choice awards if i were to hypothetically win tickets in a sweepstakes i saw in a commercial but never entered 5:22 PM 26 Nov 19 Twitter Web App 21.4K Retweets 279K Likes
    via Reddit
  • 42
    Text - Tweet Desus Nice @desusnice remember if you're not helping cook be sure to ask (in a half hearted fashion) if they need any assistance and leave the room before they answer
    via Reddit
  • 43
    Text - rocket Follow @rocketreturn genie: i shall grant you three wishes me: i wish my dog could talk genie: done me: [petting my dog] hey buddy you've got two wishes 5:50 AM -18 Nov 2019
    via Reddit
  • 44
    Text - PRINCE$$$A @stuckupya Niggas see you without makeup one time & will "you don't need it" you TO DEATH 6:20 AM Nov 26, 2019 Twitter for iPhone 57.7K Likes 15.6K Retweets
    via Reddit
  • 45
    Text - Kellen @captainkalvis mom: pass the gravy me: meat milk mom: and the stuffing me: ass bread mom: [glaring at me] and the jello me: [under breath] horse hoof jiggle dish
    via Reddit
  • 46
    Text - Dianna liked PFTCommenter @PFTCommenter Happy first offical day of the Christmas tree season. Protip: if u ask your salesman if they have any "of the realy good trees" and the guy trys to sell u weed,dont report him to his boss. it was just a missunderstanding and he was trying to help u, Mrs. Evans
    via Reddit
  • 47
    Text - DAMN Louis Griffin stan @lliahO I'm going to extract the fossilized cum out of your cock 100000 years from now Jurassic park mosquitoe style, get myself pregnant and make your descendants pay child support if you leave the front door unlocked one more time @fraudzy 5:14 AM 11/30/19 Twitter for iPhone
    via Reddit
  • 48
    Text - Dr. Quim, Mashed Potatoes Woman @CindyTakesBKLYN Autocorrect just capitalized Flying Spaghetti Monster for me and l don't think I've ever been more in awe of modern technology. 10:01 PM 11/28/19 Twitter for iPhone
    via Reddit
  • 49
    Text - Hooverr @Hooverr yeah she's your girlfriend but whose ti-84 calculator did she ask to borrow
    via Reddit
  • 50
    Text - @vincestaples 17h Vince Staples Update: my mama on the phone with my other sister wispering her mac & cheese recipe with her hand over her mouth like she a top chef. These niggas have changed. t 4.4K 75 38.8K Vince Staples @vincestaples 17h My sister in this restaurant cutting a hot wing I wish I never got money 159 t12.2K 88.6K Om
    via Reddit
  • 51
    Text - Oops She Did It @she_oops Iasked my husband if I'm the only one he's been with. He said yes, the others were all nines and tens. Send bail money.
    via Reddit
  • 52
    Product - Franklin Graham @Franklin Graham The Bible instructs us to pray for our leaders & @realDonaldTrump needs our prayers. We have t-shirts that are a reminder to "PRAY for 45"-my daughter @CissieGLynch is wearing one. PRAY FOR 45 PRAY FOR Bishop Talbert Swan @TalbertSwan You never made "PRAY for 44" tshirts. Did the Bible not instruct you to pray for the POTUS during the 8 years the BLACK guy was in office? Did white Jesus mean, "pray for white leaders only?" Another example that white eva
    via Reddit
  • 53
    Text - @AndrewY... Nov 28 Andrew Yang I want to give every American adult $1,000 a month until the day you die. ti 7.8K 14.5K 59.8K Eddie Griffin @EddieGriffinCom Replying to@AndrewYang And watch dumb people turn it down, it's your money he's giving you a small share of it to do whatever... before the Military industrialized Complex gets it for imperialistic dreams a.k.a. the forever wars.
    via Reddit
  • 54
    Text - planty @lts Planty Hey people who fold ur laundry straight out the dryer...how is it up there on ur high horse?
    via Reddit
  • 55
    Text - James Breakwell @XplodingUnicorn 4-year-old: Can I have candy? Me: What did Mom say? 4: No. Me: So why would I let you? 4: She's not the boss of you. It's a trap. 10:37 AM 25 Jan 17
    via Reddit
  • 56
    Text - Ezra Klein @ezraklein Stopping climate change is only expensive compared to an imaginary world where climate change doesn't exist. It's *incredibly cheap* compared to the actual cost of a 3 degree warmer world. 3:19 PM Nov 27, 2019 Twitter Web App 10.3K Retweets 34.4K Likes
    via Reddit
  • 57
    Text - Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer My family plays cornhole for money as a part of our family Thanksgiving tradition We are playing for a total prize purse of $200 but you would think it's $200,000 My aunt and uncle are getting divorced because she missed a shot. It's ugly. 3:17 PM 11/28/19 Twitter for iPhone
    via Reddit
  • 58
    Text - gabrielle @gabmcmahon My first college test I got a 68 and actually cried in the classroom. Today I got a 52 on an exam andI took myself out for chicken tenders
    via Reddit
  • 59
    Text - Hurricane Helms @ShaneHelmsCom If someone is wearing headphones, it doesn't mean that they don't want to talk to you specifically. It means that they don't want to talk to anyone, and that however, includes you. 10:07 am 02 Dec. 19 Tweetbot for iOS
    via Reddit
  • 60
    Text - J.Cyrus @JCyrus happy thanksgiving , i have decided to do a juice cleanse today instead of eating a bunch of food. not to be healthy, but to be annoying when everyone asks me what i did. thank you
    via Reddit
  • 61
    Text - @fonzfranc 1d I found out this year I'm HIV positive. I didn't want this to be the way I spoke about things but I think the message in this will help A. someone. I attempted suicide on three different occasions: 7/12 (the day of my diagnosis), 9/20, and 11/20. This year was... hell
    via Reddit
  • 62
    Rock - so l found a door in a tree trunk and it was full of a pile of money and a single frog [?1 @tumtheworld so u broke into his house
    via Reddit
  • 63
    Text - Kiernan Shipka @kiernanshipka So my grandpa has been drinking White Claws for an entire month without knowing they contain alcohol
    via Reddit
  • 64
    Text - Tweet @michaelharriot 1h michaelharriot Does anyone know where I can find this bible verse? "Lo, when the negro shalt mention white supremacy, ye shalt counter by quoting the ONE Martin Luther King speech known by wypipo. By this, they shalt know you are not a racist." I can't find it but I'm SURE it exists Li 141 91 1,243 Tycho "The Rhino" Newman @tychonewman Replying to @michaelharriot Reparations 16:19 3:53 PM 27 Nov 19 Twitter for Android
    via Reddit
  • 65
    Product - Coach Flight @FlightSkillz Lol my mom had a trick that was undefeated! She would stand in front of me with a belt in her hand @StylezBoogiee 3d Twitter shows me new tips everyday for when I have a child 100% JUICE Nutvion Facts 20 ml LE
    via Reddit
  • 66
    Text - Daphne L Portis @MissLynneNYC Getting this off my chest. WTF is with the "children lunch debt" bullshit!!??? Prisoners get 3 HOT meals per day, and we can't give a kid a HOT lunch??? Schools even embarrass them by taking their hot lunch away and giving thema sandwich. STOP THIS SHIT!
    via Reddit
  • 67
    Newspaper - carltonhimself Gcarltonhimself "You're sure that's the right word?" "Like, 80% sure, yeah." "Print it." et's He hey se eni pces MLB Amphibious pitcher makes debut Venditte becomes first pitcher in 20 years to pitch with both arms in MLB game Fan BOST Adltic for shew Bew The By HOWARD ULMAN Associated Press BOSTON s warmup pitches in his major ue debut with his right arm. And left The ambidextrous pitcher entered game against the Boston Red Sox e start of the seventh inning after g ca
    via Reddit
  • 68
    Product - henry @germanhenry92 Has EDM Twitter every tried a NinelLoko? Butterbeer n Christmas Cheer @Chris1Chris At this point you should just grow up and do coke like an adult TRUIT PUNGH
    via Reddit
  • 69
    Text - Red Soxtober BOSTON @NewEng_Dad Life Why is it that when the CDC says to throw out your romaine lettuce everyone takes it as gospel yet when the same agency tells you vaccines save lives they're part of the Illuminati
    via Reddit
  • 70
    Text - Donté Maurice @dontemaurice If you stress me out I'm sending you an invoice 9:27 PM 11/25/19 Twitter for iPhone
    via Reddit
  • 71
    Text - kors tay @tayziken one of the funniest things in the universe is Imfao making an album called "party rock", followed by an album called "sorry for party rocking", followed by them vanishing off of the face of the earth
    via Reddit
  • 72
    Text - #TheBeatlesIn5Words Both surviving members are Vegan #animals #Vegan #FridayFeeling MM THE KID MER0 @THEKIDMERO IMIGHT BE BUGGIN BUT I DONT THINK JOHN LENNON DIED CUZ HE ATE MEAT
    via Reddit
  • 73
    Text - Divinity @DalvinClark I love how white people treat racism like a phase in puberty. 7:04 PM 3/20/19 Twitter for iPhone
    via Reddit
  • 74
    Text - linc @lincnotfound 8:23am: *calls mom, no answer* 8:57am: *calls mom, no answer* 9:12am: *calls mom, no answer* 9:26am: *calls mom, no answer* 9:27am: *takes a shower* 9:33am: *27 missed calls from mom* 9:34am: *calls mom, no answer*
    via Reddit
  • 75
    Text - DANK SATURGAYS ARE FOR THE BOYS GOT MARRIED ON A FRIDAY BECAUSE. Brooke @brooke_beebe I would rather die alone than for this to happen at my wedding
    via Reddit
  • 76
    Text - Sibusiso Biyela' @AstroSibs Nothing can stop a bad guy with a gun better than a good gran with these two guns @News24 17h 24 News24 An 82-year-old US female bodybuilder sent an unlucky home invader to hospital ow.ly/VEcz50xlbfW 12:24 27 Nov 19 Twitter for Android
    via Reddit
  • 77
    Text - @Gasingangsta Yeah fucking going to sleep. Jenn @lssaB0ss 1d Y'all fucking after Thanksgiving dinner?
    via Reddit
  • 78
    Text - Rellington Beats 70 @TyRellington -- U the nigga that stole the laptop aren't u? Lmao shanetaughtme @Rjblessed7 #new video out now "Closed Cousin and I, on Sunday" @kanyewest 1:54 AM 11/29/19 Twitter for iPhone
    via Reddit
  • 79
    Text - Syndrome @prodbysyndrome taxes are essentially just a yearly subscription to the country you live in lol childhood is the free trial 5:37 PM 25 Nov 19 Twitter for iPhone >
    via Reddit
  • 80
    Text - gov michaela @MichaelaOkla Just heard my mom shouting "DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHERE ROOMBA IS" and then 2 minutes later, more quietly, "aww poor roomba how'd you get stuck there sweetie"
    via Reddit
  • 81
    Text - Travis McElroy, The Internet's Be... @travismcelroy We need to return to traditional manliness! -Boys should wear pink! -Leave beer brewing to the women and write more poetry! -Male friends should sit in each other's laps! -Wear more stockings! -Wigs! Wigs! Wigs! -lacy embroidered handkerchiefs for all -leave wristwatches to women 10:58 AM 11/26/19 Twitter for iPhone
    via Reddit
  • 82
    Text - Julia Claire @ohJuliatweets My dad is drinking a to-go cup of clam chowder while driving like it's a latte Il am horrified and folks I'm back in Massachusetts 12:31 PM 11/27/19 Twitter Web App
    via Reddit
  • 83
    Text - gov michaela @Michaelaokla Just heard my mom shouting "DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHERE ROOMBA IS" and then 2 minutes later, more quietly, "aww poor Toomba how'd you get stuck there sweetie" 7:23 PM 27 Nov 19 Twitter for iPhone
    via Reddit
  • 84
    Text - lindsey romain @lindseyromain i've never seen the entire internet united by undying love for something like baby yoda before and i refuse to be cynical about it. he is the child we conceived together and the child we deserve. GIF
    via Reddit
  • 85
    Text - Tempo ZeRo @zerowondering Lettuce is just crunchy water and other than adding a crunchy texture it serves no real purpose Replacing lettuce wherever I can with spinach is the wiser long term play
    via Reddit
  • 86
    Text - Keaton Patti@Keaton Patti 5d [Alone in an elevator with O.J. Simpson] Me: So...did you do it? O.J.: Me: O.J... .yeah. Me: Really? You did it? O.J:... yeah. Me: You yourself REALLY did that stunt in Naked Gun where your character gets launched out ofa wheelchair??? O.J: I'm not proud, but yeah. 5 L 37 569
    via Reddit
  • 87
    Text - Tweet Tess Barker @TesstifyBarker FYl a woman in Italy told me it's healthy to eat pasta every day as long as you only eat lasagna on the weekends I am seeking no further nutrition opinions at this time Oversæt Tweet 2:30 14 nov. 19 Twitter Web App 5.550 Retweets 41,9K Likes
    via Reddit
  • 88
    Text - dirk diggler @TakeForGrantd Spotify: hey dumbass. hey asshole. Me: pls don't Spotify: here's your 2019 Rewind playlist you bitch Me: stop Spotify: and we pulled every fucken song from that one 6 week period after a breakup Me: *already listening to the playlist, crying* it's perfect. i hate you.
    via Reddit

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