44 WhitePeopleTwitter Moments Worth Savoring

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FightMilk22
Dec 11, 2019 1:08 AM EST

Forty-four examples of white people on Twitter being white enough to post to r/WhitePeopleTwitter

And here are another seventy-seven other examples just like these.

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  • 01
    Motor vehicle - ABC 7 Chicago @ABC7Chicago abc HICAG Man locked inside 24 Hour Fitness after closing abc7.ws/2DrCXcg 24 FITMESS @memezar Tanya Chen . @Tanya_Chen Is it just me or does this math not work out
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 02
    Text - Anna Brandberg @annabrandberg When I was a child, I thought the "adult drink" was coffee. When I became a teenager, I thought the "adult drink" was beer. As an adult, l've realised the "adult drink" is in fact... water. 11:19 PM · 11/30/19 · Twitter for Android
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 03
    Text - Jane Slater @SlaterNFL An Ex Boyfriend once got me a Fitbit for Christmas. I loved it. We synched up, motivated each other... didn't hate it until he was unaccounted for at 4am and his physical activity levels were spiking on the app wish the story wasn't real.
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 04
    Text - Fabian @classicalfuck The fact that "20 years ago" is gonna mean 2000 is troubling me
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 05
    Text - Phil Nobile Jr. @PhilNobileJr My niece wants to know: if she donates her hair to Locks of Love, and the recipient of her hair commits a crime and leaves hair at the crime scene, will her DNA be found all over the crime scene and thus incriminate her? She's 12.
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 06
    Text - hannah @gulickhannah i hate ranting to my boyfriend because he'll use sound logic and reasoning and i'm really just looking for someone to be just as overdramatic about the situation as i am
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 07
    Text - jim @urvillageidiot being called a pussy isnt even an insult to me bro i know you love pussy, so basically you just said you loved me, which means you're gay and we have to kiss now 0:34 · 02 Mar 19 · Twitter for iPhone 381 Retweets 2,609 Likes
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 08
    Meal - Ah, life is good! 83 %23 @will ent Saladin @ayyubidempire BRO THIS MAN GOT COOKIES IN THE SEWING KIT
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 09
    Air travel - The Economist @TheEconomist The Economist America's airlines are introducing a class below economy econ.st/1KHryoG ADELTA ADEITA leave me alone @Donte 502 "Broke as fuck, now boarding. I repeat. broke as fuck, now boarding" tinyyoongi elmjack They just duct tape you to the side of the plane.
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 10
    Text - Kieran @KieranMSimpson common English mistakes: -mixing up there, their and they're -using the wrong too, to or two -using apostrophes for plurals -enslaving innocent people -putting commas in the wrong place
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 11
    Text - Big Jolly Dad @BigTucsonDad Any socialists wanna hang out today VIZZtch @fingerblaster · 1d Socialist's will literally suck you dry!! 12:31 PM · 07 Dec 19 · Twitter for iPhone 21.9K Retweets 151K Likes
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 12
    Text - Joey @joeygllghr when I get MARRIED my WIFE will be in THE KITCHEN where she STAYS and I WILL ALSO be there BECAUSE it's ALSO our BED ROOM. we live in a VERY SMALL studio apartment because we are POOR
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 13
    Text - Frank @fuckfrrankk At my funeral take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next 9:22 AM 06 Dec 19 Twitter for iPad
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 14
    Text - Jon @ArfMeasures Boss: Can I see you in my office? Me *trying to suppress laugh as I put on my camo jacket* you can try O 21.2K 7:33 AM - Oct 12, 2018
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 15
    Text - KD @ky_denzz my 93 y/o resident had me watering her flowers for well over 20 minutes because they had to be perfect. she then told me to look at them really closely and tell me if i noticed anything. they were fake, literally not real at all. then she said april fools go get me a coffee. Lmao
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 16
    Text - Mike @MichaelKaliman *worker quits* Workers: are you gonna replace them, that position was important Company: lol no Workers: is anyone gonna get a raise for picking up their work Company: no *more workers quit* Company: damn, everyone's leaving. That's nuts
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 17
    Text - P rofessor Kiosk @professorkiosk Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: The timeless tale wherein we learn that no one will find you lovable until you prove to them that you're useful. 9:47 PM · 03 Dec 19 · Twitter Web App
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 18
    Text - hawk @hawktherapper if both basketball teams just worked together they could score so many more points 4/20/14, 4:59 PM
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 19
    Text - rob whisman @robwhisman 11/29/15 man. i need to admit something. every time i'm drunk i make missouri slightly larger on its wikipedia page Official English L7 3,080 7,540 rob whisman @robwhisman 2h whoever reported me for this and got me banned you are a huge nerd bitch
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 20
    Text - Quackity @QuackityHQ 2000 was 20 years ago which is really weird because 1980 was also 20 years ago
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 21
    Text - hallie @halgal420 No one: Back of an organic snack label: We love what we do. We are a family. I knew when my kid started shitting blood in 2008 we needed to create the best organic GMO free pretzel wedges you've ever tasted. So that's what we did. For you. Eat with a smile please!
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 22
    People - Jim Carrey Follow @JimCarrey Brilliant black minds gave me a shot in Hollywood when none of the white guys thought I could connect or be a leading man. I got my first starring role (Ace Ventura) because of In Living Color. #ForeverGreatful
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 23
    Text - Dylan Farella @dfarella 2:00pm: Gonna save the other half of this sandwich for later 2:06pm: Time to finish that sandwich
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 24
    Text - brandon @BraandoCommando [at a party] Friend: let's play this game that most of us know Me: idk how to play, can 7 of you yell the different rules at me all at once?
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 25
    Text - Nathan Odom @NathanOdom11 I'm thankful for the Foo Fighters because l've never felt threatened by a foo and that means they're doing a heck of a job on the frontlines 9:45 PM · 12/2/19 · Twitter for iPhone 569 Retweets 2,380 Likes
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 26
    Text - Mat @matchu_chutrain One time in middle school I brought home what I thought was a Willy Wonka golden ticket and laid it on my dresser. My mom later busted my door down while I was showering and screamed at me asking why I had a magnum condom in my room 9:46 PM 05 Dec 19 · Twitter for iPhone 165 Retweets 4,119 Likes shark bait @ralphdafish · 11h Replying to @matchu_chutrain Wrong willy
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 27
    Text - khaleesiana @cleopatrasoul6 a male counterpart told me he was making $10,000 more than me a year for the same job. he then helped me prepare to ask for a salary increase. I got it. had we not discussed our salaries, I would have never known. not discussing salaries only benefits the employer.
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 28
    Text - tyler @sstaygldn sometimes i feel like i fake my depression for attention my depression literally doesn't think it's good enough to be real depression i got depressed depression 12/20/18, 2:14 PM ili View Tweet activity
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 29
    Text - planty @lts_Planty Hey people who fold ur laundry straight out the dryer...how is it up there on ur high horse?
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 30
    Text - U.S. Army @USArmy U.S.ARMY How has serving impacted you? 6:34 PM 5/23/19 · Twitter for iPhone Hetero @KingOflncels my wife fucked 10 guys while l was gone and I'm afraid of fireworks
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 31
    Text - Austin @TheBrotographer the only time you're allowed to condescendingly lament the younger generation's lack of encyclopedic knowledge of rock music is if you're a fraudulent substitute teacher who plans a grand scheme to teach them to shred and secretly enter them into a battle of the bands 4:25 PM · 02 Dec 19 · Twitter Web App 14.2K Retweets 63K Likes
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 32
    Text - sara without an h @SaraHeinecke94 The plagiarism section of the syllabus is the same for every class, almost as if it was copied..&.pasted???
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 33
    Text - MehGyver @AndrewNadeau0 BUILDING INSPECTOR: Well, you say you've kept everything up to code, but I've been speaking with your 4 year old and he informed me the floor is actually lava, which-I don't need to tell you-is a pretty serious safety violation.
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 34
    Text - Shanny From The Block Follow @ShannonSativa A lady in the store tried convincing my daughter to buy a doll because dinosaurs are for boys. So my five year old roared at her. I'm not even embarrassed 1:51 PM - 13 May 2019 46 Retweets 249 Likes O 16 t3 46 249
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 35
    Human - Josiah @HiyaJosiah Mom gave me a teddy bear thanksgiving. Took a second to realize it's one of the most valuable things l've ever owned.
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 36
    Text - marina @marinagovv no situation is more uncomfortable than when a parent orders a drink and then their 21 year old orders a drink so u HAVE to id them but then the parent asks why didn't u id me? bc u have wrinkles sharon stop making me feel weird
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 37
    Text - Rogue Dad, M.D. @RogueDadMD Just learned our 9y/o did an experiment on us. Lost tooth, told no one for 3d, kept tooth under his pillow. No $. Then he tells us he lost the tooth, next night there is money under his pillow. Then confronted us with his scientific evidence that the tooth fairy isn't real.
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 38
    Text - NEWS Kenyan Official: Homosexual Lions Learned It From "Copying" Gay Tourists AngryAussie @angryaussie Personally I say hats off to the gay tourists who were willing to fuck in front of lions.
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 39
    Text - catalina @loveralbum in Joker, Arthur suffers from a condition that causes him to laugh loudly and uncontrollably, even when things aren't funny. when he tries to do stand up he has difficulty finishing a joke due to laughing too hard. this is a reference to Jimmy Fallon who the character is based on 11:20 AM · Dec 2, 2019 · Twitter for iPhone 103 Retweets 663 Likes
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 40
    Text - Kyler Chern @KylerChern White people love saying "that was fast" after someone leaves and comes back in for their keys 9/23/18, 4:36 PM
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 41
    Text - This aint it chief @BrettMau5_ Alcohol tastes better when you're underage because the secret ingredient is crime
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 42
    Text - Sean Thomason @TheThomason Haha, whoa, Papa John said he ate 40 pizzas in 30 days? Well that's... *glancing around nervously* that's probably too many, right?
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 43
    Text - Troy Johnson @_troyjohnson You: "I'm only 35, I have my whole life ahead of me." Sports Broadcaster: "Here comes the oldest player in the league. He's 32. A miracle."
    via White People Twitter | Reddit
  • 44
    Text - Mint @superhypermint "White people never face racial discrimination" um? I have to ask for chopsticks at at Panda Express, asshole.
    via White People Twitter | Reddit

Tags

twitter funny memes funny tweets white people
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