Just because your margarita is in Gatorade, does not mean you should text your ex...

We all know that it is nonsense basing your love life off of a silly little app like the “love calculator” or whether they're a Scorpio and you're a Sagittarius and your margarita is in microwave or whatever… But then again, isn't everything nonsense? What even is love, life, and the pursuit of happiness? Isn't it that everybody creates their own reality? So that kind of philosophy is probably why things like the “love calculator” and basing everything off or your sun sign and retrograde cycle…

What's your big three?

While we know that astrology is a controversial topic (people tend to enjoy it, or they don't believe it, or simply don't care), we think that there are a whole lot of great memes that have come of it. There are also tons of astrologers and wannabe astrologers who spend time likening the signs to everything from cringey neckbeards to kitchen appliances . Usually we say the weirder the better, but our absolute favorite assignments have to do with food. I'll never forget the day I saw a post that…

I'm going to come out and say it: I'm a Scorpio. And it hasn't been easy. Scorpios are one of the most maligned signs of the zodiac . I think we are simply misunderstood. There's so much more to us than being jealous, or incredibly, mind-blowingly sexy. We contain multitudes. For example, we're really, really good at stalking people on the internet. We're also fiercely loyal people, willing to go the extra mile for our family and closest friends (of whom we may not have that many - Scorpios lov…

Happy Halloween, meme freaks ! It's true that many Halloween festivities happened this past weekend. The big parties, the dancing, the absolute mayhem. But today is the official holiday, and we're celebrating it the only way we know how: with memes. Unless you've been living under a gigantic rock over the past month, you've probably seen those ‘ Fake Spirit Halloween Costume' memes flying around on Twitter, Instagram, and beyond. Well, we're back with some more. This time, the memes are dedicat…

Witches only

It’s been one whole week since we’ve been taken out of Mercury in retrograde , and I am so relieved. I feel so much better than I did before, and I don’t even know why. I really shouldn’t pretend to be an astrology expert when I fully am not one, but I can’t help it! It’s just too much fun. Whenever I meet girls at the bar, they ask me my sun, moon, and rising sign, and I tell them “ Libra Sun, Taurus Moon, and Scorpio Rising '' without any hesitation. Then they tell me theirs, and we both earn…

The glorious and long-awaited day is finally here: October 2nd marks the end of this horrifying era we call Mercury in Retrograde . The rains of frogs and plagues of locusts have finally left town, and peace is here once again. Mercury in Retrograde is bad, but it isn't all bad. Hopefully, during these past couple of weeks, you've learned new things about yourself that you wouldn't have learned outside of this astrological era. Maybe you don't think you've learned anything. Perhaps you had a ba…

The time has finally come: Libra season is here. As a lifelong Libra, I should know a great deal about this zodiac sign that I should be able to spring on to those not lucky enough to be born between September 22nd and October 23rd. Unfortunately, I come to you largely empty-handed. I am not a Libra expert. I do come with the most iconic image of Libra-ness: the scales. Regarding my astrological sign, I've always connected the most with the idea of being a balanced person. I try not to make my…

If we're being honest, astrology is hated by so many people because women love it. That's it! That's the only reason. It's such a joke because there's nothing so harmful or irrational in believing in any aspect of astrology. Everyone believes in things that are not completely rational or supported by hard evidence, and if you don't think that applies to you, you're fooling yourself. So many men like to act like they are they are completely rational people, not affected by any subjective outside…

Margarita in Gatorade is no joke... But these memes are!

It is very well possible that you are completely ignorant of the field of astrology . If that is you, and you only clicked on this for the expressed purpose of being a hater, welcome. Your presence is noted and valued because we've just entered one of the most recognizable astrological periods of the year. Ladies and gentlemen: Mercury is officially in retrograde. Even if you've never looked at your horoscope in your entire life, you've definitely heard of Mercury in retrograde . This astrologi…

I have a confession to make…I used to not be the biggest fan of Virgos . I know, sue me! Call the coppers! Call the fire department. Call the secretary of state because, baby, I had a bad take. I think it often happens with amateur astrology fans that we meet one or two people of a specific zodiac sign that we don't like, and then we make blanket assumptions about that sign as a whole. I committed such a crime, and for that, I'm truly sorry to the Virgos out there. As part of my penance, I have…

This week, a crime against Virgos occurred that has been overlooked by the general population. Renowned singer, actress, dancer, and clothing designer Jennifer Lopez fired two of her dancers for the crime of being Virgos. The audacity of this woman is far too much. How could she discriminate against the Virgo community in this way? Doesn't she know that Virgo season is upon her, and the wrath of the Virgos is far more ravenous than any other zodiac sign ? You know who a Virgo? Beyoncé. Do you t…

The best thing about horoscopes is that you get a new one every day. I remember when I was a kid, I woke up early to eat breakfast, watch Full House, and read the newspaper with my dad. I would always go to the funnies section for compelling reruns of Peanuts and less-than-good iterations of Dennis the Menace. Next to the cartoons, there were also daily horoscopes. I loved reading my Libra horoscope, my dad's Scorpio horoscope, and the horoscopes of the rest of my family. As much as haters like…