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01via 9gag
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You've been getting ready for three hours. Not because it takes three hours, because the first hour was getting ready, the second was second-guessing everything you picked, and the third was a full internal negotiation about whether the shoes were too much or not enough. You look great. You looked great an hour ago. Your friends have told you this four times. You don't believe any of them.
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03 via 9gag
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04 via dailymemes
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06 via theshiningmemes
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07 via clementineberet
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08 via instantpudding_
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09
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The pre-date research phase deserves its own acknowledgment. By the time you walk through that door you know their full name, their job, their college, their ex's Instagram, their ex's new girlfriend's Instagram, a vague sense of their family dynamic, and the general vibe of their childhood based on three photos from 2014. You know all of this. You will act like you know none of this. When they mention their sister you will say "oh, you have a sister?" with the energy of someone hearing this for the first time, and you will deliver it flawlessly because you have been practicing since Tuesday.
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10
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11 via 9gag
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12 via __vella_panti__
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13 via majorcuddl3s
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14 via lneewyu
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15
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Then you sit down and the real performance begins. The laugh, is it too loud? The eye contact, how much is confident, how much is unhinged? The menu, do you order what you actually want or something that requires zero structural commitment to eat? These are the calculations happening in real time underneath a completely normal conversation about where you grew up.
The silence. Everyone dreads the silence. That three second gap between topics that feels like forty-five minutes and sends both people reaching for their drink simultaneously like it's a choreographed escape move. You survive it. You always survive it. But in the moment it feels like a small social emergency.
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18 via mrs.kmita
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19 via highfiveexpert
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20 via repostlocker
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21 via 9gag
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22 via thisiwisingle
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23 via tinderfeed
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24 via girlzzzclub
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25 via nermalicious2
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26 via imdrunkwith.love
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27 via djmauricionyc
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28
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29 via catch_meme_all
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Then the bill arrives and the whole table shifts. The reach, the counter-reach, the "are you sure," the "no really," the resolution that somehow takes longer than ordering did. A whole negotiation conducted entirely in eyebrow movements.
And then it's over. You get in the car, or you walk to the corner, or you get home and sit on your bed, and within approximately ninety seconds your phone is ringing because your best friend has been waiting for this debrief since 7pm and she needs every detail in chronological order right now.
That's the real ending of every first date. Not the goodbye. The phone call.
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34 via brandontrusso
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