meat

Yummmm meat. Smoked, cured, dried, aged, and fresh. You didn't come here for the animal activism, you came here for steak, burgers, ribs, and everything in between. Not stopping here would be a terrible missed steak. 

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Tumblr Expounds On The Meat-Eating Nature of Plants

Sure, some trees look like they're eating stuff, but it should be noted that trees themselves are low key monsters. Trees suck nutrients out of whatever organic matter they can get their roots on, so it stands to reason that they have the option to wake up and choose violence. The things don't even have real feelings, thank god they can't chase us down. Quickly, that is.

tumblr thread on meat-eating plants
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Tumblr Thread: Being a Purveyor of Fine Clown Meats

In most cases, someone offering to tell you about a dream they had is the most boring and stupid waste of 5 minutes you can engage in. But when it's from the twisted mind of a tumblr user, and it's about operating an all-clown meat deli, it's really hard not to pay attention. It's got action, crime, drama, science and most importantly a whole lotta clown meat. Here are some more funny, random and shiny tumblr gems.

Funny tumblr thread about operating a clown meat deli
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Vegan Employee Suggests Coworker Eat Burger Outside

Being basically cooperative, we don't want to step on people's toes. In this case there's an employee eating a burger in a designated eating space, and their coworker happens to not like that. Compromise is important, but it's also important that people agree on what "compromise" means. Prickly attitudes transcend dietary preference, like this entitled uncle who demanded a meat meal at a vegan wedding.

Vegan coworker asks burger-eating coworker to eat outside
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Amused Butcher Shares His Most Frustrating Customer Stories

If you think your job sucks, then just take a gander through the following posts written by an amused and frustrated butcher who has, let's just say, seen it all when it comes to terrible customers. The stupidity here is truly amazing, people.

Be sure to check out the Butcher Stories official Facebook page for even more woeful tales of staggering stupidity!

Funny stories of a frustrated butcher's experiences with entitled customers | facebook post BS Butcher Stories lost everything during storm. Customer guys really should have better plan place. Like having someone work during storm logic is if someone got hurt during storm would be worse than losing some product Customer Eye roll guess
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Girlfriend Beats Upset Boyfriend in Steak Challenge

When entering a steak eating challenge with your hungry girlfriend, it's good to review your feelings and think about how you'd feel if you lost. On principle, it seems like a good idea to have a general idea of how much steak you can eat. These things happen, like this woman who emasculated her egotistical boyfriend.

Boyfriend upset his girlfriend beat him in a steak eating challenge | r/AmItheAsshole Posted by u/SmallDare1986 17 hours ago AITA embarrassing my boyfriend at restaurant? Ok this is really stupid, and Im pretty sure not asshole, but this happened over year ago, and my boyfriend keeps bringing this up as an example trying undermine him. So, both my boyfriend and love food. Not too uncommon obviously also both pretty athletic runner, so relatively small (around 100 pounds at 5'4 while he's an
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Vegans Called Fake Because They Feed Their Cat Meat

This one seems pretty cut and dried. Their friends seem a bit extreme and have a hard time understanding what cats eat. The decision to eat meat is one that causes bacon drama between fathers and daughters, and poor dietary information can lead to some really awkward situations like this woman who learned mayonnaise wasn't vegan.

Vegans get called fake for feeding their cat meat. | r/AmItheAsshole Posted by u/edenflicka 16 hours ago 3 AITA calling ourselves vegan? So both vegan and have been years. Last year got beautiful cat who is grand baby neither our parents will ever have. She's obviously an obligate carnivore and been feeding her kibble and wet food. Unfortunately, where she came wasn't very good situation and she had horrible teeth rescued her s not come point where if she's painful she doesn't want eat kibble an
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Vegan Stepdaughter Can't Stand that Cat Isn't Vegan

Having to accept that some animals kinda need to eat meat is harder for some people than others. The whole feeding your pets eating meat thing is also an ongoing argument, like these vegans who were called fake because they feed their cat meat.

Vegan stepdaughter can't stand that cat eats meat | r/AmItheAsshole Posted by u/headachebrewing 20 hours ago AITA telling my stepdaughter she's absolutely under no circumstances allowed switch out my cats food vegan food even though she's losing weight because sight normal cat food makes her sick? Not hole Sorry appalling title. My stepdaughter is living with my husband and next year. Shes an educated young professional who's saving up buy her own home.
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Strict Vegan Kicks Out Boyfriend's Daughter for Tampering with Their Food

This is a mess. It's messed up to tamper with someone's food, but it started with everybody making some pretty bad decisions that led to this point. Gotta say, the jury's verdict that everyone sucks here is pretty compelling. For more vegan drama, here's a reversal of the situation, where a dad who doesn't want to stop cooking bacon because his daughter's diet. For more on the subject, here's a chill vegan's explanation of the Burger King lawsuit.

Vegan kicks out boyfriend's daughter for disrespecting her diet, and the internet weighs in | AITA evicting my boyfriend's daughter disrespecting my vegan lifestyle? Everyone Sucks Amy (19) and have never gotten along well but she did recently took cake have followed strict vegan diet 12 years now s something very important Amy is not unaware this. Her father and her have lived with my house now 2 years and she has never had right attitude
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Twitter Flocks on Cowboy Who Brags About How Much Beef He Gets

For a twitter conversation about beef and gender roles, this was actually pretty civil. It even sort of has a happy ending! The number one takeaway we got from this conversation was that we are severely lacking in how much beef we make per year, and didn't realize how self conscious we should be about it.

Lonely cowboy talks gender roles and dating while bragging about beef.
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Crazy Vegan Accuses Meat-Eater Of 'Cultural Appropriation' For Liking Tofu

We have absolutely no problem with anyone's dietary choices, but sometimes passions can cause people to act like a-holes. We're pretty sure most vegans absolutely would not have a problem with a non-vegan enjoying tofu, because honestly why would they? 

Unfortunately people like this person give the normal vegans out there a bad name!

Text message conversation about a vegan who gets angry at a non-vegan for liking tofu
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'Slim Jim' Is Winning The Internet With Its Impeccable Instagram Game

In this day and age, social media can really make or break a brand. We all know that companies like Wendy's are killing it, but honestly we think Slim Jim's social media manager might give them a run for their money with their hysterical Instagram account

So grab yourself a delicious long boi and browse through a few of Slim Jim's hysterical house-made memes and tweets straight from their Instagram account!

Funny memes and tweets from the Slim Jim Instagram account | Person - B slimjim ALIEN GANG Jim after airdropping long boi memes about clapping thicc alien cheeks everyone on line at gas station Liked by tindervsreality and 44,418 others slimjim making difference SOON View all 816 comments dr doofnsmurtz Is this actual slim Jim page or meme acC slimjim @dr_doofns_nigga yes 6 days ago
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Crazy Vegan Accuses Meat-Eater Of 'Cultural Appropriation' For Liking Tofu

We have absolutely no problem with anyone's dietary choices, but sometimes passions can cause people to act like a-holes. We're pretty sure most vegans absolutely would not have a problem with a non-vegan enjoying tofu, because honestly why would they? 

Unfortunately people like this person give the normal vegans out there a bad name!

Text message conversation about a vegan who gets angry at a non-vegan for liking tofu
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Twitter Reacts to Steak That Reportedly Looks Like Vladimir Putin

I mean, it looks kinda like him. This piece of meat definitely REEALLY looks like a face, and some of the proportions are pretty close. I guess we'll have to add this to the list of lucky times people matched random stuff. Anyway, Twitter had jokes about this piece of Putin meat.

pun about vladimir putin steak
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Via JigMagic
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There is nothing keeping these birds from giving up. Even if conceding this one scrap of meat would make them both happier, it doesn't matter, it's the principle of the thing. It's like a visual representation of being in a dumb online argument.

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Guy's Wholesome Twitter Thread Explains How His Dad Is Asian Ron Swanson

Twitter user @Kane made a list of anecdotes about his garage-meat-hanging, big-cutlery-distrusting government worker father in honor of Father's Day. When he gets to the frat-crashing and explanation of government work, the parallels really start to line up. Here are some silly and wholesome dad moments shared on twitter for the world to laugh at.

dad is asian ron swanson, wholesome twitter, son tweeting about dad,
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'Asian Ron Swanson' Twitter Thread Is A Wildly Entertaining Father's Day Tribute

The internet was met with a barrage of sappy Father's Day tributes on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, but nothing touched us quite as much as @kane's heartwarming and hilarious thread of anecdotes about his father. The "Asian Ron Swanson" definitely lives up to his name in these tweets that depict him as a meat-loving, beer-chugging man who does not trust anyone. We're so impressed by this guy's savvy we'd pay pay to meet him. 

father's day memes
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