27-year-old daughter refuses to keep sending mom money to help with her bills when she finds out she lent $2,000 to her 30-year-old single brother with a full time job: "He needed it more than [you]"

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Jul 14, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

It's a pretty unfortunate fact that money and family oftentimes do not mix well. You would think that your very own relatives, the people that you share a biological, ancestral, and historical connection with, wouldn't let a little cash come between you – but alas. Greed and entitlement can absolutely annihilate the strong bond between sisters. Disputes over inheritances can turn brothers who grew up as besties against each other in a heartbeat. Even the bond between parent and child is susceptible to break under the right circumstances.

In our story today, a generous daughter has grown accustomed to alloting a portion of her income to her mother in order to help her pay her bills. Because her mother raised her all by herself, she feels indebted to her efforts. However, our protagonist soon finds out that the money she has been giving her mom has found its way to her brother's hands. Our protagonist is absolutely baffled as to why her older brother, who has a stable job, would need to be indirectly (and secretly) funded by her own handouts. 

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  • 01

    AITA for refusing to give my mom money after finding out she gave a big gift to my brother?

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    via 89Stocker

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02
    So I (27F) have been sending my mom a small amount of money every month to help with bills and groceries. It's not a lot, but I
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    budget carefully to make sure I can support her since she raised me as a single parent.
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    via Antonio_Diaz from Getty Images

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 05
    Last week, I visited home and overheard her on the phone telling my brother (30M) how she "gifted him $2,000 to help him out." I was shocked my brother has a full-time job, no kids, and makes way more than I do.
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  • 06
    I didn't say anything at the time, but later I asked her about it. She said, "He needed it more than I do. You know he's going through
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    a lot." Which fair but she never mentioned it to me. And I've been sending her money monthly assuming she needed it.
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  • 08
    I told her I wouldn't be sending anything for a while until I feel like we're on the same page again. She got upset and said I was being selfish and holding money over her head.
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  • 09
    Now I feel guilty. She is my mom. But at the same time, I feel a little used. AITA?
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  • Mom has proven that she has a favorite, and that she is not trustworthy with the money that she receives. 

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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 11
    lilygreenfire Nta. I wouldnt send anything. Let the single guy who makes more take care of her
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    Fit_Diver2683 OP Totally agree. I helped out as long as I could. Now it's his turn.
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    Pippet_4 ed If it was my brother, I'd ask for the money back. My brother would also be p off if he found out our mom gave him money I had given her.
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  • 14
    21jjurus Yeah, if it were my brother, Id ask for the money back too. I think I should. talk to him about it calmly.
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  • It's definitely worth having a conversation with the brother. Maybe he has no idea that the money is coming indirectly from his sister.

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    via Syda Productions

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 16
    Bella-1999 Because you were more than a little used. I don't know what your brother is "going
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    through", but she is using you to fund him. I wouldn't send another dime unless I had complete access to view her accounts.
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  • 18
    Think about how long and hard you have to work to earn $2,000 and what you're giving up to help her. I'm sure you have your own dreams for your future and $2,000 probably would have been helpful.
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    Fit_Diver2683 OP You're right I didn't want to admit it, but I do feel used. I've been stretching my own
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    budget thinking I was helping her survive, not realizing I was just funding someone else. That $2,000 could've made a real difference in my life too.
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  • 21
    Satansaystodayson NTA. You cant afford it if youre going without to give it to her, and she doesn't need it if she can afford to give it away. You do not
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    owe her for being a single Mom. She chose to have you. She chose to keep you. Those were her choices.. not yours. You do not owe
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    her for raising you. Is it commendable that she was a strong enough person to do it on her own? Sure. But it still wasn't your choice, or your fault she had to or chose to do it that way.
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  • 24
    kmflushing No. She obviously doesn't NEED it if she's giving it away.
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  • 25
    Emotional_Bonus_934 She's using you. Don't give her another dime
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  • 26
    observer46064 NTA, she is holding your money over your head. Never give her another cent. Tell her to get a job or get a second job because you aren't going to support her again.
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Tags

family drama brother mother sibling rivalry siblings motherhood relationships favoritism parenting entitled family sister daughter money Parenting Fail parents entitled people
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