Dude's Sad And Hilarious Story Of Ash Spreading Gone Wrong

Author image for Eric Lund
Eric Lund
Dec 30, 2019 5:00 PM EST

Interring or spreading a loved ones remains is a deeply emotional, and sometimes logistically awkward moment. Mitch Feltscheer discovered this firsthand when his dad had to deal with an extra windy day by the sea. These moments happen from time to time, like this guy who wasn't sure what to do with a brick of his dad's ashes.

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  • 01
    Text - Mitch Feltscheer @mitchfel The hardest I've ever laughed in my entire life was a few years ago at my grandma's ashes scattering ceremony. A Thread:
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  • 02
    Text - Mitch Feltscheer @mitchfel Replying to @mitchfel Or as my dad (who was inexplicably in charge of proceedings) described it "everyone grabs a placcy cup and a scoop of grandma and you can go chuck her wherever you want".
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  • 03
    Text - Mitch Feltscheer @mitchfel Replying to @mitchfel Grandma's favourite spot by the way, was a clearing atop a headland overlooking beachside cliffs and like literally every other day ever, it was insanely windy up there.
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  • 04
    Text - Mitch Feltscheer @mitchfel Replying to @mitchfel I'm talking borderline cyclonic, like, you couldn't even crack open her urn without a bit of grandma escaping and flitting straight into the nearest cousin's face.
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  • 05
    Text - Mitch Feltscheer @mitchfel Replying to @mitchfel A new plan was quickly hatched. We'd somehow traverse the cliff face to get down to sea level where it would hopefully be less windy and dad would wade out a few metres and scatter her in the water as we'd watch. Easy.
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  • 06
    Text - Mitch Feltscheer @mitchfel Replying to @mitchfel After the task of getting a couple of 50 year- old aunties in heels down a steep path (fun!), we gathered in the winter sun and Dad hitched up his pants and awkwardly hobbled out into the sea.
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  • 07
    Text - Mitch Feltscheer @mitchfel Replying to @mitchfel Despite the setbacks so far, at this point it was looking like we'd actually salvaged the whole event and we held eachother and looked on as dad yelled back "HERE WE GO!" opening the urn to a sudden explosive gust of wind, ejecting grandma into the air like a firework.
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  • 08
    Text - Mitch Feltscheer @mitchfel Replying to @mitchfel At this point my brothers and I are holding in laughter at the absolute scene going down in front of us when suddenly the unmistakeable sound of a jetski rounds the headland and two 20-somethings come gunning straight for where grandma is falling into the sea.
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  • 09
    Text - Mitch Feltscheer @mitchfel Replying to @mitchfel They don't just churn through grandmas ashes, they literally chuck a hard turn right in the middle of her, shooting grandma-soup up into the air. I'm pretty sure an aunty literally clutched her pearls.
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  • 10
    Text - Mitch Feltscheer @mitchfel Replying to @mitchfel My brothers and I are in physical agony trying not to laugh at this point, as dad comes ambling back to the shore to a dozen or so silent Feltscheers trying to comprehend what just happened.
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  • 11
    Text - Mitch Feltscheer @mitchfel Replying to @mitchfel Dad pauses and turns back to the sea. He puts his hands on his hips and with an utterly straight face sighs melancholically and says "Well. She always loved jetskis".
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  • 12
    Text - Mitch Feltscheer @mitchfel Replying to @mitchfel And thats how I ended up sprawled on the sand on a Sunday morning, clutching my sides laughing as my dead grandma's ashes get churned out the back of a jetski. FIN.
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jet ski wtf emotional funeral lol story ashes dark funny
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