Woman Upset That Her Engagement Ring Was $80

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mattstaff
Feb 28, 2020 9:00 PM EST

This woman asked the people of Reddit whether or not she was in the wrong for being upset about her partner getting her an engagement ring worth $80. The verdict rolling in would seem to be one that suggests she's not wrong for being hurt by the less than overwhelming financial gesture. A question that comes to mind is why he'd spend hundreds on a TV and $80 on a ring? What was the motivation there? 

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  • 01
    Text - AITA for apparently not respecting my Pandora engagement ring? Not the A-hole I want to start this off by saying I'm not a gold digger. I got engaged 2 weeks ago and was more than happy to say yes even if there was no ring at all. But there was one and it looked beautiful at first
    via u/bigstona
  • 02
    Text - until I later inspected it that night. It looked like a normal engagement ring but the metal didn't seem heavy or feel normal. There was also something stamped inside the band that said "ALE". I looked it up on google and it brought me to Pandora's website. I looked through the website and found my $80 ring. I won't lie, l'm upset but not because of the money. It's because my initial thought was that the ring won't last. No, this was not meant to be a place holder ring. He meant to give m
    via u/bigstona
  • 03
    Text - I confronted him and told him I noticed the ring was plated rose metal and that it came from Pandora. I told him it has nothing to do with the cost of the ring but I was worried it would tarnish and the Cubic Zirconia would get ruined. He said that I initially told him I loved it, which was true. It's pretty looking. He then said do I still like how it looks and I said yes but it's fake metal and won't last. He said that if it's not about the money and it's not about how the ring looks th
    via u/bigstona
  • 04
    Text - I felt bad after that and dropped it but my feelings were brought back up recently because it seems the metal is getting dull on the bottom of the band. He said I'm not respecting the ring and need to take care of it and not wear it while I shower but to me that seems weird. I feel like whenever a problem is brought up the ring he turns it back on me and makes it a problem with me instead.
    via u/bigstona
  • 05
    Text - louloomoo • 21h • Partassipant [4] NTA. Pandora bridal section? They're not lasting rings. The metal plating will wear off and the CZ will cloud eventually. I understand being price conscious but he could easily get a gold/moissanite ring for $200-$300 that WOULD last a lifetime and you wouldn't have to worry about getting it wet. Take a look over at O r/moissanite If you don't want a clear stone there's always affordable gemstones that are beautiful. Sapphires are great for everyday wear
    via u/bigstona
  • 06
    Text - pandatree_157 • 21h • Partassipant [1] NTA. Your ring is supposed to be one that you wear every day for the rest of your life. It only makes sense that you want it to last and a cheap plated ring that is already getting dull isn't going to. I'm also tired of the idea that women need to be grateful for any ring they're given. While you shouldn't expect anything ridiculous, you need to wear this ring every day so it should be one you're at least happy with. If price is the issue then consid
    via u/bigstona
  • 07
    Text - darthvadersbanana • 20h NTA. The listing of the ring he gave you literally has reviews that say the stones and metal finish fall off within a couple months. If he did any due diligence, he'd have known. Even if a ring is cheap, it should be thoughtful and also last long enough that it doesn't break before the wedding.
    via u/bigstona
  • 08
    Text - bad-monkey • 21h NTA I'm a married guy, which means l've spent money on a ring, and I'm practical which means that I've complained about how much a few oz of gold and carbon cost--but even I think your fiance is out of pocket here. It'd be one thing if this is what he could afford-- but it sounds more like this is some weird litmus test for [something] which is a really shitty way to have a conversation about compatibility. Just talk about it directly, buy the $500, 1/2 ct, 14kt gold star
    via u/bigstona
  • 09
    Text - bigstona • 20h Because it's not real metal? Like I wouldn't care if it was a solid 14k gold band from pandora. At least the metal would last and there would be no stones to just mess up after a year or two. I've had costume jewelry before and the stones just become dull. He bought the tv from Best Buy and it was 60" I'm sure he paid at least 200 for it
    via u/bigstona
  • 10
    Text - nanimal77 • 21h • Asshole Aficionado [18] NTA. He's going to do his best here to make sure that you come out looking like a greedy asshole, though. He's already blaming the wear of a cheap plated ring's deterioration on you. He's not willing to invest in a piece that will last. You can decide if you can live with that, and a guy who thinks that way.
    via u/bigstona
  • 11
    Text - niborosaurus • 21h • Partassipant [2] INFO: how financially stable is he? I only ask because he could be reacting the way he is because he's embarrassed he couldn't afford something better, and that's making him defensive.
    via u/bigstona
  • 12
    Text - CyborgsRHere • 21h • Partassipant [3] NTA Put the ring away. That stuff will wear. God forbid you have metal allergies and the base metals touch your skin. Green and irritation would follow.
    via u/bigstona
  • 13
    Text - SilverScreen2019 • 21h • Certified Proctologist [20] if it's not about the money then the look of the thing you wear EVERY DAY shouldn't matter..wtf? pandora makes plenty of shit that lasts and plenty that doesn't. i know, i used to sell it. i've got a lovely sterling silver locket i wear often, had it 5 years. it could use a professional cleaning and refinishing but it's good so far. because it's solid sterling silver. plated anything is junk unless is rhodium plated GOLD. i'm not surpri
    via u/bigstona
  • 14
    Text - belzbieta • 20h • Partassipant [3] NTA. That ring will not look nice after a few years. BTW, I am very happy with my moissanite and titanium engagement ring and it looks as perfect as the day he gave it to me. Almost as hard as diamond and very glittery. Looks like a top notch colorful diamond for a fraction of the cost of even a man made diamond. $175 on Etsy. Rings don't need to be expensive just durable.
    via u/bigstona
  • 15
    Text - aaron1651 • 20h NTA.. I've been married for 13 years. When I was making 40K when I proposed to my wife. The wedding ring I gave her cost me nearly 3K. you can go to a nice restaurant and get two entrees and a few beers and your tab would be $80. that's such a little amount for something you're supposed to wear her for the rest of your life. You should talk to him. you're going to hate it forever and your girlfriends are also going to hate it lol. You're not going to want to show off and y
    via u/bigstona
  • 16
    Text - Bairbearbarebear • 19h NTA but I think it's telling that he bought the ring instead of going ring shopping. He literally PLANNED to only spend $80 on you and then shift the blame onto you if you complained. He's sneaky and cheap. I'm not saying throw the guy away, but it's interesting that he was willing to spend $400 on a TV and $80 on a ring. By the way, if he ever wants to upgrade the TV, tell him that he must not be "respectful" of how he treats the TV and that you expect it to last 5
    via u/bigstona
  • 17
    Text - d3_tvl • 21h NTA. It's perfectly fine with being upset it won't last. Right now I'm planning to propose to my gf and we discussed everything already so it's not much of a surprise. What we did do was speak about getting a ring and I asked her to show me some designs as to what she would like, because I want her to wear it all the time. I think every woman should get to choose their rings because it's as you say, it's something you are going to wear for many years to come.
    via u/bigstona
  • 18
    Text - TentaclesAndCupcakes • 19h · Asshole Aficionado [12] NTA. Pandora makes really pretty fashion pieces. I love my Pandora charm bracelet and necklace, but I sure don't wear them every day or while showering! They aren't meant to be a lifelong piece of jewelry that you wear daily. They just aren't, it doesn't have anything to do with you being "greedy". He could get you a lovely ring from Etsy or even a "real" jewelry store for less than $500 that will last you a lifetime.
    via u/bigstona
  • 19
    Text - shitsandgigglesforme • 21h • Asshole Enthusiast [7] NTA and I say this as a woman who chose a CZ in my setting when getting married. At the time we had money for a ring or for an awesome honeymoon. I chose the trip. We've since replaced the entire ring but if the metal is already getting damaged, he messed up. Even a plain gold band would be better than that.
    via u/bigstona
  • 20
    Text - callmeishmael517 • 19h • Partassipant [2] I take off my engagement ring when I shower. It is vintage and I worry that constant wear will ruin it. I have already lost two diamonds which is when I stopped wearing it entirely except for special occasions like date nights. Though in my case I love the ring and even asked for a vintage ring, it makes me think you deserve to have a ring you can wear without ruining.
    via u/bigstona
  • 21
    Text - poolswithoutladders • 20h • Asshole Enthusiast [5] NTA - rose plated metal won't hold up, give it like, 5-6 months the plating will wear down and you'll get green marks on your skin. There's loads of ring options around the £100 mark that will stand the test of time and rose plated isn't up there. FS Titanium, which is around the hardness of Platinum, starts around £60.
    via u/bigstona
  • 22
    Text - witchwhichwish • 20h • Partassipant [2] NTA my teenage sister got a Pandora ring from her bf for Valentine's day and the next day one of the gems fell out. They're nothing more than costume jewellery.
    via u/bigstona
  • 23
    Text - jyhookf • 20h • Asshole Aficionado [14] NTA. He obviously put very little thought into the ring. Pandora is costume jewelry with an inflated price tag. Their own website doesn't even have engagement rings, they have rings under "gifts for the bridal party" described as cocktail rings, which mean they are not meant for long term daily wear. I think engagement rings are unnecessary, but if someone is going to buy one, they should buy one that will last and cocktail rings simply aren't inten
    via u/bigstona
  • 24
    Text - bunnymelly • 20h • Certified Proctologist [26] NTA What's with people thinking Pandora is legit jewelry? Like anyone can look at their merchandise and see its for children/teens. They're cheap for a reason: they're glorified costume jewelry
    via u/bigstona
  • 25
    Text - FatFreddysCoat • 21h NTA Sorry but your fiancée sounds like a cheapskate who's put no thought into your ring. Please don't hate me! It took me a year to find my now-wife's ring, and I'm not commenting on how much thought your fiancée put into yours, or what your finances are like, but an $80 catalogue ring you'd expect to buy for a bit of fun or a night out doesn't sound like your forever ring to me.
    via u/bigstona
  • 26
    Text - Missyplantlady • 21h • Asshole Enthusiast [5] NTA, you have a right to be upset that it won't last. Even if it's not about having an expensive ring, he should at least respect the tradition behind the ring by trying to get you something that will last. However, he probably didn't think that far into it. But I guess worst case you can replace it when it gets old. Il'm sorry that this is a stress for you right now.
    via u/bigstona
  • 27
    Text - yungphotog • 19h NTA Pandora definitely has some nice stuff, but it's definitely not engagement ring worthy or long- lasting. I had an $80 ring from Pandora that I wore every day (took it off in the pool, to shower, and at bedtime). After about 10 months of wear, the ring snapped in half.
    via u/bigstona

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