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Tweets That Reflect The Crazy Times We Live In

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    Text - Megan Rebekah @_meggybread Day 1 of self-isolation: I shall write a book, organise my garden, learn a language or three Day 3 of self-isolation: Spent an hour arguing over a sandwich with my cat. I've forgotten the sound of human voices. The wallpaper in my room is really starting to freak me out. 5:41 AM · 3/22/20 · Twitter Web App
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    Text - That one chicc from the Internet @PrisonCookies I'm feeling adventurous so today I'm watching Netflix from the left side of my recliner 7:32 AM · 3/22/20 · Twitter for iPhone
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    Text - *Hack Mamba* Nick OhlessA @NickOHlesSA Kenny Rogers dippin in the middle of the apocalypse is the most "know when to fold'em" thing ever. 8:10 AM · 3/21/20 · Twitter for iPhone
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    Text - Lord Hugh Mungus @PoodleSnarf I'm having chocolate cake for breakfast because if l'm going to my grave it will be on my terms and those terms are with chocolate in my mouth 7:38 AM · 3/22/20 · Twitter for iPhone
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    Text - .:RiotGrl:. @RiotGrIErin binge watching the office on netflix is the only therapy I can afford. 3:50 PM · 3/21/20 · Twitter for iPhone
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    Text - FAT GANDALF @sofarrsogud [My Dad returning 15 years after he left to buy cigarettes] l've got toilet paper. 2:31 PM · 3/20/20 · Twitter for iPhone
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    Text - LarBar @laurab3 Y'all it's casual Friday quarantine edition: You can wear your second best pair of sweatpants 7:05 AM · 3/20/20 · Twitter for iPhone
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    Text - HRH Edward 'Teddy' Windsor @BigTeddyWindsor I'm going to make good use of this downtime and become a chess grandmaster. Jump forward 6 months.. How does my prawn move again? 11:56 AM · 3/21/20 · Twitter for Android
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    Text - SpacedMom @copymama If you didn't mutter "people are fucking animals" under your breath at least once, did you even go grocery shopping during the pandemic? 3:38 PM · 3/20/20 · Twitter for iPhone
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    Text - Gordon Maloney @gordonmaloney here is a landlord evicting a paramedic in the middle of a global pandemic literally because he works in the NHS 14:46 42 OK thanks e 14:57 / Actually joe on reflection I am now super nervous about having someone from the Nhs here. As it's only a matter of time before u r in contact with the virus. Can u organise an Airbnb and collect your stuff tomorrow. Sorry I normally would never do this but it's not worth the risk. I'll charge you for the week and refund
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    Text - Kerry @whatbabytalk As I'm making scrambled eggs for the family this morning my four-year-old asked me what an egg is..... ...there is no way to answer this question without sounding like we are absolute monsters, so I stil have not answered him. 6:35 AM · 3/22/20 · Twitter for iPhone
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    Text - FOLLOW Swim Jeans YOUR DREAMS |I @ShortSleeveSuit Quarantining with my wife is okI guess. And at least T have a set of boobs to play with. Maybe soon she'll even let me play with hers 7:23 AM · 3/22/20 · Twitter for iPhone
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    Text - Simon Holland O @simoncholland Thate when I'm on my 14th episode in a row and I hear some loser talk about using this time to learn another language. 6:20 AM · 3/22/20 · Twitter for iPhone
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    Text - Moderately Mom @momtribevibe Binge eating breakfast KitKat's and waiting for them to give me that much- needed break keep hearing about. 7:26 AM · 3/22/20 · Twitter for Android
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    Text - Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets @gfishandnuggets Quarantine Day 8 Diary: I definitely will not come out of this as a better cook, but my kids will ensure that I find about 3,274 new ways to make Mac and Cheese by the time this is all over. 6:45 AM · 3/22/20 · Twitter for iPhone
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    Text - Crockett @CrockettForReal My kids are so good at hide and seek. It usually takes me hours to find them and by then l'm good and drunk and it's their bedtime 7:41 AM · 3/22/20 · Twitter for iPhone
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    Text - nashTM @nash_official [quarantine, day ???] guy: hello? me: say what's the deal with airplane food? guy: huh?? me: okay, not a fan of planes let's try something else...knock knock guy: i think u have the wrong number me: don't hang up! i just want to talk to someone that doesn't live in my house 6:33 AM · 3/22/20 · Twitter for Android
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    Text - Towanda the Avenger O @kenda... · 16h v Hobby Lobby owner David Green is telling store managers to stay open despite the pandemic because his wife had a vision from god. Wasty men He also warns they'll all have to "tighten their belts" soon. His net worth is $6.4 billion-hourly employees don't get paid sick leave. #COVIDIOT HOBBY LOBBY Executive Offices March 19, 2020 To all the wonderful employees of Hobby Lobby and Mardel: This country has experienced several calamities and disruptions
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    Text - Doll "Don't Touch Your Face" Fac... @Canadian_Doll_ Standing on my balcony shouting WHERE ARE YOU GOING every time I see a car move 8:33 PM · 3/19/20 · Twitter for iPhone
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    Mode of transport - modern problems require moden solutions. Translate Tweet LIVE Lg BREAKING NEWS Russia unleashed more than 500 lions on its streets to ensure that people are staying indoors during this pandemic outbreak. 13:17 VLADMIR PUTIN RELEASED AROUND 500 LIONS TO MAKE PEOPLE STAY INDOORS
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    Text - Women Who Love Wine @wwlwine Quarantine and chill..ed wine
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    Text - PAPA @Ty_Greyy Let's uninstall and reinstall 2020, this one has a virus 1:51 PM · 3/22/20 · Twitter for iPhone
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  • 23
    Text - Professional Worrier @pro_worrier_ Just a reminder that some people have been given the opportunity to prove we can work from home. Do not mess this up. T repeat, do not mess this up. 10:27 AM · 3/22/20 · Twitter for iPhone
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    Text - Kids_kubed D @Kids_kubed Germany just banned gatherings of more than two people. If this happens in Canada, my family of 5 is going to have to make some tough decisions 11:45 AM · 3/22/20 · Twitter for iPhone
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    Text - Sir Michael @Michael1979 Had a lovely time chatting on a recipes group on Facebook today and I almost made some new friends Cath Which is? ... Cath 16 hrs Like Reply 15h Any tips on how to cook pork chops without them turning out dry? Can't ever Michael Well, my uncle and this woman became firm friends and while there was some chemistry between them, neither of them was in the right place emotionally at the time to start a relationship. This is still a source of regret for my uncle as he
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    Text - Paul Bradshaw @bradshaaaw Yesterday I knocked on my Tennant's door and told him he can stay in the property rent free for 5 months. He is self employed with 4 kids. I don't need Boris to tell me what is morally correct. Landlords, if you can, do more, do something. #COVID19 #BeNice

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