39 Fresh Tweets From The Joke Experts Of Twitter

It's time for another round of recent tweets from the casual comedy talents of Twitter. We're always impressed by the rate at which people can churn out the jokes everyday—it's like their brains are highly efficient machines spitting out joke after joke onto a conveyor belt being fed right into Twitter. Damn. Enjoy these pleasant zingers and may they brighten your day.

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55-year-old mom schedules family cruise right before her 30-year-old daughter's grad school graduation, forcing the family to chose which event to attend: 'Many have already said they can't afford both'

55-year-old mom schedules family cruise right before her 30-year-old daughter's grad school graduation, forcing the family to chose which event to attend: 'Many have already said they can't afford both'

'We paid for your childhood, now it's your turn': Entitled mom expects 26-year-old daughter to pay her bills and cover the cost of flights and hotels for a European family vacation because she paid for her as a kid

'We paid for your childhood, now it's your turn': Entitled mom expects 26-year-old daughter to pay her bills and cover the cost of flights and hotels for a European family vacation because she paid for her as a kid

Aunt contributes $11k to 17-year-old niece's college fund, refuses to give more money when sister spends most of it on her prom: 'Can you spot me $2k just for now?'

Aunt contributes $11k to 17-year-old niece's college fund, refuses to give more money when sister spends most of it on her prom: 'Can you spot me $2k just for now?'

Salaried employee takes a 1hr 18 minute lunch, is docked 2 days of PTO in retaliation: 'There is no specific lunch break time'

Salaried employee takes a 1hr 18 minute lunch, is docked 2 days of PTO in retaliation: 'There is no specific lunch break time'

Woman refuses her mom’s demands for comfort and a place to stay after her golden-child younger brother, Luke, finally moves out and ghosts their mother, forcing her to face her own favoritism: ‘she’s all alone now and suddenly wants to “reconnect”’

Woman refuses her mom’s demands for comfort and a place to stay after her golden-child younger brother, Luke, finally moves out and ghosts their mother, forcing her to face her own favoritism: ‘she’s all alone now and suddenly wants to “reconnect”’

UPDATE: Entitled SIL tells woman she doesn't ‘deserve’ to claim part-ownership over her and her husband's new home due to her lower earnings, parents-in-law reveal their daughter wanted to cash in on her brother's life insurance policy

UPDATE: Entitled SIL tells woman she doesn't ‘deserve’ to claim part-ownership over her and her husband's new home due to her lower earnings, parents-in-law reveal their daughter wanted to cash in on her brother's life insurance policy

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