Top Tumblr Posts To Thrill And Titillate You

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andcallmeshirley
Nov 4, 2020 3:00 PM EST

Tumblr jokes are a bit of a black sheep when it comes to memes. Though it might not be the first choice of meme purveyors, it is a sleeping giant just waiting for you to discover some funny Tumblr musings. r/Tumblr has all the Tumblr jokes you'll need to give yourself a breather and keep hustling all week long.

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  • 01
    Text - miyazakishuuto: miyazakishuuto: scar's brother was ultra hot and im so mad he is dead I JUST REALIZED THAT I SHOULD CLARIFY THAT I AM WATCHING FMA: BROTHERHOOD AND I AM NOT IN FACT LUSTING AFTER MUFASA, SCAR'S DEAD BROTHER IN THE LION KING Source: miyazakishuuto 66,694 notes T1
    via Reddit
  • 02
    Text - teaboot You know what I want? A vampire comedy where at one point a vampire goes “Your father would be spinning in his grave" and then there's a quick cutaway to a dimly lit gothic boudoir where a coffin is rattling at an incredible speed downeyjrs someone get this post to taika waititi Source: teaboot 33,451 notes A
    via Reddit
  • 03
    Face - swarnpert Follow i love when cats make that face when they lift their head to bump it into sometihng
    via Reddit
  • 04
    Text - ratmed Follow Every time you mock the appearance of a bad person, there's a good person out there with a similar appearance that hears you and feels awful. If you want to criticize a person, criticize what's actually bad about them, not their superficial looks.
    via Reddit
  • 05
    Text - snazzy-lester: ok so there was this post talking about how boys love flowers too and no one ever gets them any or like cares, SO we were doing awkward icebreakers in class and i decided to ask the guy next to me what his favorite flower was (half expecting him to say wut idk??) and he looked at me with a huge smile and said sunflowers and i think we should all just raise awareness that boys like flowers too
    via Reddit
  • 06
    Cartoon - chauvinistsushi trick or treating with three of your past lives? eastgermanhattrick This shouldn't be as cute as it is.
    via Reddit
  • 07
    Photo caption - tamaratesla: tamaratesla: STEPHANIE INVITED ROBBIE TO ZIGGY'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AND HE WAS JUST SO HAPPY AND EXCITED TO GO HE'S NOT EVEN MAKING ANY EVIL PLANS THIS TIME LOOK HE GOT ALL DRESSED UP AND BROUGHT HIS OWN LITTLE PARTY HAT AND HE'S SO NERVOUS ABOUT IT OH MY GOD ROBBIE i'm really glad tumblr seems to agree with me that this is the most adorable thing to ever happen in the history of ever
    via Reddit
  • 08
    Text - Open Question Show me another » Is it illegal to throw aborted fetus at people? I didn't actually throw fetus at people., but when my GF went to the abortion dinic to have an abortion there were christians out the front and they were being really nasty and menacing, saying she's go to hell and that she was a murderer and that they'd stop people like her one day. About a week later I blended a raw chicken up and put it in a plastic bag, and went inside the cdinic early in the morning when
    via Reddit
  • 09
    Text - crrocs Follow how am i supposed to make creative funny text posts when nothing happens in my life at all applethefruit Follow you just use a story from sims and pretend it really happened to you caitluffs Follow one time i was swimming but the pool ladders disappeared so i couldn't get out of the pool and i swam for 1O hours then died thebootydiaries classic
    via Reddit
  • 10
    Green - Your Aquariu adventure stan here! emmyblotnick: Either this family has no idea how green screen souvenir photos work or they know EXACTLY how they work.
    via Reddit
  • 11
    Green - matociquala: damngruchy: supermassiveasshole: i was teaching my grandma to use computer so we can talk on skype and such but today she went kinda mad at me because "i didnt show her the knitting programme" and i was like what and it comes out she accidentally opened ms excel and found out its a great way to create knitting patterns my grandma is 82 NO GRANDMA. ONE HAND, LIKE THIS WHOOPS I MADE A SCARF.
    via Reddit
  • 12
    Text - biggest-gaudiest-patronuses sweet vampires are pale b/c they're anemic theawkwardchimera Did you only just realize this? They also suck blood because they cant get vitamin d from sun exposure. biggest-gaudiest-patronuses take a multivitamin you melodramatic victorian appropriating eternal dumbasses
    via Reddit
  • 13
    Text - ysabelmystic I just heard my mom tell my brother, "when you die, you will go outside and garden until your father says you're done" and it took me a second to realize that my brother was playing a videogame and this was not a theological discussion. martianaviator Purgatory Source: ysabelmystic
    via Reddit
  • 14
    Product - Kap kaijuno Follow Inari Lobster ADD ADD $2.30 $5.50 Plain Sushi What white person did this I just wanna talk -d nrevailing GST. +
    via Reddit
  • 15
    Cartoon - www.CTRLALTDEL-ONLINE.COM shrimbim I present to you "gain" rincewitch i enjoy him checking the baby out at the front desk
    via Reddit
  • 16
    Floor - хyrm escaped medical leech shady-mother-fucking-bacon There are medical leeches!? jesus-lizard-journal Yes! They work very hard to get their medical degrees. roachpatrol not this one, though. this one's trying to ditch class. Source:m.reddit.com 221,573 notes
    via Reddit
  • 17
    Text - vilf Follow men are not “naturally" or “biologically" abusive and if you think that then you are no better than the bioessentialists and terfs you seem to hate <3 5,851 notes
    via Reddit
  • 18
    Text - weaver-z Why is my Catholic grandfather so much funnier than me weaver-z My grandfather: Hey, what's a bigamist? Me: Oh, that's an old term for someone who is married to two people unlawfully. My grandfather: Incorrect Мe:? My grandfather: A bigamist is a thick fog over Italy :) 15,942 notes
    via Reddit
  • 19
    Text - cithaerons Follow do you ever see people, in october 2020, talking about, like, hanging out with their friends and getting drinks with people and going on dates and hooking up with people and hanging out in coffee shops and going to the gym and realize that some people are living in a completely different reality than you are
    via Reddit
  • 20
    Text - gangler Barnes and Nobles is gonna start serving food and alcohol. Everybody's cracking jokes about how it's a desperate attempt to stay relevant in the age of Amazon. But you know what? Props to them. This is exactly what Blockbuster didn't do. At no point was Blockbuster like "Hey, movie rentals aren't the lucrative enterprise they once were. Perhaps it's time we become known for our cheesy garlic bread." mackasaurussex Okay but...if someone wants to take me on a date to a Barnes and no
    via Reddit
  • 21
    Games - Cole If you win, I'll move here! But if you lose, then I get your skeleton! @ leonthesuperpooper the stakes are high
    via Reddit
  • 22
    Text - tokoshi my therapist: so how are you doing today? me: Needs Hunger Fun Comfort Social KKI Bladder Hygiene KKI Energy Environment big-gay-mike Is your therapist washing you? honted used her hand sanitizer
    via Reddit
  • 23
    Text - pizzaback I hate how the stereotype is that dolphins are good and sharks are evil, when dolphins are so smart that they have the capacity for evil but sharks are simple fish who can only be true neutral, so even if a minority of dolphins are evil there are still more evil dolphins than sharks rageclit quality marine philosophy discourse
    via Reddit
  • 24
    Text - leg-stealing-bee E cant-do-the-f ij-. Follow ... @just9gag When you're in the 1400's Florence and your buddy starts coughing moony-f Follow update: when you're in Milan in 2020 sharky857 Follow update#2: when you're anywhere in Italy in 2020 girlwiththegreenhat Follow update#3: when you're anywhere in 2020 416,566 notes >
    via Reddit
  • 25
    Hair - chickenkeeping taken literally 1 minute apart cluckyeschickens Ah, the 'ol scream and sleep.
    via Reddit
  • 26
    Text - synthetic-blanket-hairs Follow ITS THE FINAL BRAIN CELL *kazoo solo* A slothful-rabbit Follow I can't even describe the pain when I realized I could hear this in perfect clarity in my head Source: synthetic-blanket-hairs
    via Reddit
  • 27
    Cartoon - VF Do you support gay rights? VF I am gay galaxy-warping he's dodging the question :/
    via Reddit
  • 28
    Text - meticulousmaker Follow queensparklekitten Follow piamond dickaxe queensparklekitten Follow wait 45,700 notes A
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  • 29
    Text - P. Nick Curran @PNickCurran NYPD out here protecting the Wall Street bull. Brandy Jensen @BrandyLJensen we deserve more elegant metaphors autumngracy Follow Y'all remember that story in the bible about Moses condemning the people idol worshipping a golden calf statue or like nah
    via Reddit
  • 30
    Text - tilthat TIL Matthew Lillard originally Screamed till his voice went Hoarse and scratchy to Achieve his voice for Shaggy in Scooby Doo, Even doing it in his car before his Audition at Warner Bros in LA via reddit.com skeletor-the-gay Follow Imagine you're going to audition for Shaggy in the new movie and the guy in the next spot is just fi | screaming in his car 1,734 notes
    via Reddit
  • 31
    Text - grimelords I want to make an infomercial where it's not clear what the guy's selling. Like he's demonstrating how powerful this vacuum is by sucking up a bowling ball but then he starts showing you how strong the bowling ball is by dropping it on some knives, but then he's showing how the knives haven't been damaged at all by using them to cut through some shoes and it goes on and on for two hours then just loops back to the start while a number flashes on screen the whole time and if you
    via Reddit
  • 32
    Text - E insilenceweyearn keuhkopussirotta I wish rich people went back to keeping artists as pets. Like when you're wealthy enough you pick a cool weirdo to do regular commissions for you, and if you really want to flex on your peers, you've got several. And you visit them every once in a while like "hello, I've paid for your rent and your tools, have you worked on that commission giant oil painting of me getting sucked off by my political opponent, who is unfortunately still the mayor of this
    via Reddit
  • 33
    Adaptation - leg-stealing-bee Worm on a string grew limbs...I'm so proud
    via Reddit
  • 34
    Text - etiquetteforagentleman THE #203 RULE OF A GENTLEMAN: Chasing a girl worth chasing is more important than any “rules" that might tell you to stop. sonnetstockmar RESTRAINING ORDER ACTION LAW. cOU COURT OF IN THE (STATE). Number Plaintiff/Petitioner Vs Defendant/Respondent QUALIFIED ORDER day of
    via Reddit
  • 35
    Astronaut - Buzz Aldrin @TheRealBuzz I was on the Moon! #Apollo11 @NASA Linn LeBlanc @linn_leblanc. Where were you 49 years today when @TheRealBuzz and Neil Armstrong made those historic first steps onto the Moon. A caucasianscriptures Imagine being the only person alive who can say this zachsanomaiy buzz aldrin and neil armstrong liked to do a thing where they'd tell unfunny jokes at parties about being on the moon and when people were confused they'd go "guess you had to have been there"
    via Reddit
  • 36
    Owl - This baby owl hit our window. Gave us this look the whole time YOUR FORCEFIELD DISPLEASES ME AS DOES YOUR INTERIOR DECORATING HELP I AM CRY
    via Reddit
  • 37
    Cat - focsle There is one patch of sunlight that falls in my apartment and every time I see it I think 'a cat would look so good there. focsle I got a cat and she found it. pipistrellus YOU WERE RIGHT Source:focsle #cats 173,814 notes ...
    via Reddit
  • 38
    Cartoon - eD niknak79.tumblr.com niknak79: Elmo contacts the pentagon #this fucking show
    via Reddit
  • 39
    Text - lemonsharks Follow My ancestors, watching me dump an entire stick of cinnamon, two cloves, an allspice berry, and a generous grating of nutmeg into my tea, sweetened with white sugar and loaded with cream, while I sit in my clean warm house surrounded by books, 25+ outfits for different occasions, and 6 pairs of shoes, in a building heated so well I have the windows open in mid-autumn: Our daughter prospers. We are proud of her. She has never labored in a field but knows riches we could n
    via Reddit
  • 40
    Text - loki-cat One late night, you are up in your bedroom when you hear your mom calling you downstairs. You are halfway down the staircase when all of a sudden, you see your mom in front of her bedroom door, terrified, she whispers, 'Don't go downstairs. I heard her, too.! Who do you believe? andrealessi The one calling me downstairs. They're lesbians, not ghosts. 50shadesofacceptance This twist tho, I can't stop laughing
    via Reddit
  • 41
    Text - logarto Follow Mear Follow @issamariumali If. g hate my friends ur only gonna catch feels n get hurt But he's So funny Delivered ok so are clowns do u see me texting chuck e cheese everyday ? lesbianhaircut Follow i love that chuck e cheese is in no way shape or form a clown
    via Reddit
  • 42
    Cartoon - dawningcrow Follow quite-quirksome Follow Listen, I am absolutely OBSESSED with this drawing. It has so much character. Holy crap. 107,987 notes
    via Reddit
  • 43
    Text - needleinjection Follow Ben Shapiro @benshapiro You're stupid and poor. But I can wear lifts. Ben Shortpiro @benshortpiro · Jun 26, 2016 You're short @benshapiro 8:44 PM Jun 26, 2016 Twitter for iPhone tpiro @benshortpiro ort @benshapiro Ben Shortpiro @benshortpiro A bot reminding @benshapiro that he is short every 30 minutes! O made by @dylanversity E Joined May 2016 O Following 38 Followers ben shapiro seriously saying "you're stupid and poor. but i can wear lifts" to a bot made to call
    via Reddit
  • 44
    Text - tredlocity rawing people on couches is so hard yet most of my ideas involve that tredlocity DRAWING
    via Reddit
  • 45
    Text - I AM A MOM AGAINST CAT BOYS anguishworm Follow Safaril 2:18 PM * 99% IT'S LIT FAMSQUAD IAMA MOM AGAINST CAT BOYS |Mom what are your thoughts on this shirt EILEEN |I don't think Moms should be against cat boys. I don't know what a cat boy is, but let |em be, man EILEEN JILLIAN MICHAEL Send a chat My mom sald cat boy rights surprisebitch Follow your mom is a true ally Source: softblock
    via Reddit

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