Bride-To-Be's Future Mother In Law Ruins Wedding Dress, Won't Take Responsibility

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  • 01
    Text - Posted by u/aitathrowaway566 1 month ago 12 10 11 5 3 31 AITA For demanding my fiancé and his mom to pay for a new wedding dress? Not the A-hole Me 26F and my fiancé 28M been engaged for 4 months, we're planning on having our wedding on October 18th, My future mother in law kept annoying me and sending me suggestions for choosing the right wedding dress, and said that she knew better and tried to get me to approve of wedding dresses that she chose and when she couldn't enforce her decisio
  • 02
    Text - Before I went shopping I called her to ask if she wanted to come but started making excuses about how busy she was with my sister in law, I went shopping with my mom and I was able to find a really nice dress although it cost me a little over what I saved up for, but it was worth it.
  • 03
    Text - I made some changes to it and it was perfect, it arrived to my apartment at the end of the week, I made sure it was stored in a safe place so it doesn't get ruined.
  • 04
    Text - Yesterday, I got back from my mom's house, and found that my fiancé wasn't home neither was the dress, I called him immediately knowing that he must've taken it to show it to his mom since she continuously asked to see it and refused to have me send her pictures of it on Facebook.
  • 05
    Text - I was so mad when it was confirmed that my fiancé took it to show it to his mom, he said he was gonna be home in 30 minutes after he went to the supermarket I waited for longer than I had to and then when he arrived I ran to get my dress that was buried underneath grocery bags, I took it to check on it and it's zipper was broken and the dress itself (fabric) was stretched out, I was like what the f ick happened to it, my mother in law must've tried it on,
  • 06
    Text - what the f. ick happened to it, my mother in law must've tried it on, because it looked ruined, the straps were almost loose, I had to call my mother in law when my fiancé told me his mom and sister took turns to try it on, I was absolutely livid, she told me she did nothing wrong and that I was making a big deal out of it.
  • 07
    Text - She said she'd get a replacement for the broken zipper, but I told her to pay for a new dress since it was stretched out and no longer fitting, she refused and said that I probably wasn't happy with my dress choice and wanted to her to pay so I could get a new one, yelled at her for trying it on and ruining it, that she and my fiancé
  • 08
    Text - yelled at her for trying it on and ruining it, that she and my fiancé were responsible for ruining my dress so they should pay for a new one, It's done, no longer fitting, the straps are in a horrible condition, my mom said she'd pay for fixing it but I just hate it now that someone else wore it before me. I'm mad at both of them and seriously considering postponing the wedding.
  • 09
    Text - mindcontrolmanatee Colo-rectal Surgeon [33] 34.3k points · 1 month ago 12 5 & 6 More NTA. Girl do you hear yourself?? Your fiance took your wedding dress without permission and allowed multiple people to try it on! Do you understand how disrespectful and innapropriate that is? You not only have a bad mother in law problem, you have a HUGE fiance problem Needless to say, id be doing more than postponing.
  • 10
    Text - dungeonmaster520 2.0k points · 1 month ago After my wedding, I had my mom (asked/forced her to) try on my dress for fun. She didn't have a real wedding dress, and she is slightly smaller than me. It was so much fun, but it was after my wedding. I can't believe that they would try it on without asking. It's not okay. I'd have a good long think about boundaries and if you're willing to have them crossed. This seems like a behavior pattern that might not change.
  • 11
    Text - Gareth79 540 points · 1 month ago It's so grossly inappropriate I can't imagine what sort of people they are - and the financé has very poor judgement in taking it without asking, at the very least.
  • 12
    Text - WeeklyConversation8 Partassipant [1] 989 points · 1 month ago I wouldn't marry someone who is this disrespectful. He took her dress without her permission so his Mom and sister could try it on. Who does that?! He and his Mother don't care that the dress is ruined. He's a Mama's boy. He does whatever Mom wants and will be this way with everything.
  • 13
    Text - janquadrentvincent 73 points · 1 month ago Don't forget he's trying to invalidate her feelings by not understanding why she's upset and telling her she's overreacting. Her whole life she'll feel like she's going crazy because behaviour that is so clearly not ok will be presented as though it's normal and she's the weird one for having a problem with it. It's exhausting just thinking about it. OP. You don't need that replacement dress. A cancelled wedding is a lot cheaper than a divorce. C
  • 14
    Text - smolperson Asshole Enthusiast [7] 2.4k points · 1 month ago S Don't listen to him, that is such bullsh t. Normal men respect the importance of a wedding dress and so many lovely men even refuse to see it so they're surprised on the day. Your fiancé is such an asshole I can't even put it into words, and if he thinks you're overreacting he's a moron. Sorry.
  • 15
    Text - RarelyThere99 Asshole Enthusiast [8] 176 points · 1 month ago This isn't a good sign. Your partner's job is to act as the buffer between his family and you. He's spineless and he will not be able to establish boundaries with his mum. You will not be able to count on that man. Would you consider couple's therapy before the wedding and maybe your fiancé needs individual therapy so he can learn to be bulletproof to his mum's emotional manipulation. NTA.
  • 16
    Text - Ladylottington72 141 points · 1 month ago I'd have a big think of whether you want this kind of passive behaviour from your fiance in the future. You deserve to be respected and supported by your partner - that is base level! He sounds like he needs a lesson on how to treat the person you love, along with an assertiveness course. I'd definitely postpone the wedding and have a long think about whether I'd want to be in this weird power dynamic with his family. Best of luck! NTA
  • 17
    Text - WhoIsYerWan 136 points · 1 month ago Today a wedding dress; tomorrow your kids. This doesn't end here, babe. He will let his family undermine you on all things, including how you raise your children. Seriously, seriously reconsider marrying this person. NTA
  • 18
    Text - OrangeSoda206 85 points · 1 month ago Sweetheart, you seem to be focusing a lot on your fiance's mother's actions and shockingly little on his actions. I urge you to give some real thought to committing your life to someone who, at minimum, does not communicate with you and goes behind your back. Red flags are there for us for a reason. I hope everything turns out alright.
  • 19
    Text - NedryIsInSector1104 Partassipant [2] 12.9k points 1 month ago 6 3 & 3 More You don't need a new dress you need a new fiancé. NTA
  • 20
    Text - Berthatydfil 7.3k points · 1 month ago 2 Don't marry him- you will always be second best to his mother and sister. What normal person tries on their future daughter in law /sister in laws wedding dress. And what's worse he took it round to their place so they could do that. Read the mother in law from hell stories and then run away far and fast.

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