8 Reasons Why Cyber Monday is Better Than Black Friday

  • 1

    You don't have to get dressed and go anywhere.

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    Seriously, you can acquire sweet deals while dressed as a blanket burrito. What a time to be alive.
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  • 2

    Retail workers don't have to end their family dinner early to go out and work.

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    Think about it: Black Friday prevents American families the world over from gathering together and posing for ridiculous stock photos every year. The word "epidemic" comes to mind.
  • 3

    You don't risk grievous bodily injury on Cyber Monday.

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    Unless you count carpal tunnel syndrome from clicking a mouse as grievous bodily injury, in which case you're probably dumb anyway.
  • 4

    To visit different stores, you just have to switch between tabs.

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    Which is basically how the internet works every other day of the year as well, but ssshhh, just go with it...
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  • 5

    You don't have to drive anywhere while stuffed full of food.

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    Some people would say that this is a uniquely American problem, to which I say: yeah, you're probably right.
  • 6

    You don't have to shop in the dead of night or at the crack of dawn.

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    You can get up at a perfectly respectable hour (say, 2 p.m.) and still catch the savings.
  • 7

    You don't have to wait in line anywhere.

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    Foot tap. Shift balance to other leg. Bounce on your heels. Sigh. Check phone. Shift balance again. Look around. Look to the front of the line to see if it's moving at all. Check phone again. Repeat x 1000.
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  • 8

    Cyber Monday is just more relaxed than Black Friday.

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    It's almost as if someone somewhere said "guys, we need a Black Friday for lazy people," and poof! Cyber Monday was born!


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