An Ode To Samantha Jones And The Lessons She Taught Us About Sex

  • Sometimes the old masturbating tricks just don’t cut it

    Nose - I'm masturbating. I told you l'd be doing that all day today.
  • When we’re horizontal, height doesn’t really matter

    Lip
  • Don’t… I’m telling you, DON’T GO BACK FOR MORE

    Hair - Sex with an ex can be depressing. If it's good, you don't have it anymore.
  • It’s why summer dresses are so popular

    Nose - I like the idea of men in skirts.
  • You have to know what you’re dressing for

    Hairstyle - Hi, I need something that'll make a guy cum in his pants as soon as he sees me.
  • What’s the point of being single if you can’t have constant access to your own vagina?

    Eyebrow - Honey, my vagina waits for no man.
  • The best kind of party is a party you’re not “supposed” to have

    Smile - She threw an "I don't have a baby" shower to let everyone know she was fabulous
  • You might as well move the f**k on

    Hairstyle - You'll be even more upset when your face is all lined.

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