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People Tweet About Their Weirdest, Most Awkward First Dates Ever

Almost every person has been on or will go on a bad date at some point in their life. I believe that awkward dates are a natural part of life, much like gravity and sunset. If you've done well enough to avoid one until now, I commend you. Honestly, you have dodged one of life's greatest bullets. But if you have a plethora of lousy date tales to tell, then welcome to the club. It's a magical place. Another Valentines Day has just come and gone, and if, like me, you were sat at home without a valentine, then these tweets about people's 'Weird, uncomfortable, funny, awkward, and ultimately entertaining' bad dates, will make you feel better about being single.

Posted by satirequeen
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  • 1
    Font - Lil Bit ... @LizerReal Let's talk about BAD DATES again! Weird, uncomfortable, funny, awkward, and ultimately entertaining. One guy wanted exclusivity after the first date & then he cried. A lot. Another guy insisted on ordering for me Share your weird funny crazy dating stories! 7:36 PM Feb 13, 2021 · Twitter Web App 57 Retweets 14 Quote Tweets 414 Likes

    I mean, dating isn't THAT hard. Sure, it's hard to find someone you click with, you're attracted to and who wants the same things as you. But being on the actual date shouldn't be that difficult, because there's this thing called social normalities. AKA, something these people clearly lack. 

    Via @LizerReal
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  • 2
    Product - Kate ... @Kateness8 Replying to @LizerReal and @PrincesaBallena [Covid times] - met up at Jack in the Box - drive thru for milkshakes tried really hard to talk me into car sex without a condom - I said no - spilled his milkshake in my car - left me to clean it up - texted me the next morning that he got back together with an ex overnight 8:24 PM Feb 13, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 1 Retweet 42 Likes

    Seriously, it's like these people missed the class at school where they taught you how to not be a total jackass on a date. Oh, wait, that class didn't exist, because it's assumed that you will show up on a date and not act like a walking pile of trash. 

    Via @Kateness8
  • 3
    Font - Functionally Feral @FeralFerrell ... Replying to @LizerReal -he ordered a "martini" containing gummy worms and after my order of an IPA said, "that's a manly beer". -he asked me back to his place and put on Star Trek to set the mood. -he got on amazon during our date and bought himself my favourite childhood book to "understand me better" 1:35 AM Feb 14, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone 1 Retweet 13 Likes

    But at least these bad dates make for entertaining stories for our entertainment, right? Not that we're trying to benefit from other people's pain, of course. 

    Via @
  • 4
    Rectangle - Allie C(•_•c) @longlostteacher ... Replying to @LizerReal A guy brought his ukulele on a first date, and played it. A lot. 8:12 PM Feb 13, 2021 · Twitter for Android 21 Likes
    Via @
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  • 5
    Font - LLTruesdell ... @lscorpio99 Replying to @LizerReal 1st date. After dinner he pushed me to walk to the far skytrain stn. I said ok, despite reservations as didn't know the area, it was kind of sketchy & dark. Then he ditched me half way at his apartment on route & I had to walk the rest alone. He basicly got me to walk him home. 8:35 PM Feb 13, 2021 Twitter for Android
    Via @
  • 6
    Font - A Grammakelpid A @RenHart1965 ... Replying to @LizerReal Blind date. He showed up an hour early this scorching day in August, fresh from work. LANDSCAPER. He and his truck were covered in dirt. He smelled. AM radio blaring a ball game, won't turn it down. I ask for a/c; it blew a cloud of dust into my face! No talking. 1/2 8:13 PM - Feb 13, 2021 - Twitter for Android
    Via @
  • 7
    Font - Ai Grammakelpid A ... @RenHart1965 Replying to @RenHart1965 and @LizerReal At restarting, he tells me & waitress how funny he is. He wasn't, and that's vital! He ordered 4x ranch dressing with a reg dinner salad, talked with his mouth full! Gross out! Next day, he bought a ring. I took 1 call from him to say no. He called 75+ times that month! 8:16 PM Feb 13, 2021 · Twitter for Android
    Via @
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  • 8
    Font - M Smith ... @JuneJem Replying to @LizerReal and @HenpeckedHal 1. He insisted on ordering a dish I told him I didn't like. He said i needed to broaden my palate. I admitted some of the ingredients upset my stomach. He looked at me with such disdain. 5:39 AM Feb 14, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone
    Via @
  • 9
    Font - M Smith ... @JuneJem Replying to @JuneJem @LizerReal and @HenpeckedHal 2. A fried stopped by our table, he went to go dance with her. I didn't care. I ordered what i really wanted. When we were leaving, I saw my favorite cousin across the street. He objected, said i was with him. 5:41 AM · Feb 14, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone
    Via @
  • 10
    Font - whiskeyvice @whiskeyvice ... Replying to @LizerReal First date. Invited herself over to my place, took a massive 45 minute dump and then left. She actually said, "I wouldn't go in there for a while," on her way out the door. 3:37 AM Feb 14, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone
    Via @
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  • 11
    Font - Matt ... @matt_ff7 Replying to @LizerReal and @_Jizzabelle Had an online relationship, girl said she loved me, wanted to move in with me, her stuff was my stuff, talked wedding, drove 11 hours to meet her, asked for a kiss said no and was distant the entire time and we broke up as I drove home Imao l've never felt uglier in my life 4:14 AM Feb 14, 2021 Twitter for Android
    Via @
  • 12
    Font - Good Twin ... @karan_sell Replying to @LizerReal He showed up at a BYOB restaurant with a GALLON of wine in a shopping bag, said he didn't know if I was a big drinker. Spent most of dinner talking about how his ex-wife alienated him from his kids. Said they hadn't "visitated" in a long time. No second date. 7:52 PM · Feb 13, 2021 · Twitter Web App
    Via @
  • 13
    Font - It's a beautiful day! @ManleyZeller ... Replying to @LizerReal Met a guy online between husbands. After 2 dates he wanted me to come meet his mom in Turkey. Nope. 10:23 PM Feb 13, 2021 - Twitter for iPhone
    Via @
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  • 14
    Font - texasblonde @texasblonde22 Replying to @LizerReal Went to meet a guy... stopped and sat on a bench. He grabbed my keys and started playing with my pepper spray and pepper sprayed himself in the face. Date over. 2:16 AM Feb 14, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone
    Via @
  • 15
    Font - Much Ado about me @muchado33 ... Replying to @LizerReal I met a guy online. Showed up at his house for the date, because he was running late after work. He took off his shirt to go get in the shower. He was covered, I mean covered, in swastikas and neo national tattoos. I noped out while he was in the shower. 7:46 PM · Feb 13, 2021 · Twitter for Android
    Via @
  • 16
    Font - FOCUS Jen @Jenfunoptional ... Replying to @LizerReal I went out with this guy I really really liked and we were back at his place and things were getting good and he tells me he likes to basically some put the pillow over you head and pretend to suffocate you sex thing. I was like, dude, I have to GO. I was gone so so fast. 7:47 PM Feb 13, 2021 · Twitter for iPhone
    Via @
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  • 17
    Font - IronhorseCowboy1622 @HammerDown_68 Replying to @LizerReal Met a girl on the phone by accident. We decided to meet at a local bar for drinks. She tried to sneak a roofy in my drink when I wasn't looking. The guy on the seat next opposite of her saw her do it and warned me. She could have taken my kidneys..! 8:26 PM Feb 13, 2021 · Twitter for Android
    Via @
  • 18
    Font - CMyBones @CyndiSaidMed ... Replying to @LizerReal My first real date. He took me to Chili's then a John Candy movie. Refused to attempt physical contact. When I tried to hug him goodbye, he started crying and told me he was pretty sure he was gay and he only took me out to make his dad happy because I had big breasts. Poor guy. 12:09 AM · Feb 14, 2021 · Twitter for Android
    Via @

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